Avoiding classes by going to the health room

[Anonymous]

DS with ADHD has been going to the health room often recently to avoid a few difficult classes. We would get a calls to pick him up because of a fever. They started doing the temperature by ear which was more accurate. He isn’t being sent home early, anymore, but he still misses a good portion of a class when he does this. It is starting to affect his grades. He missed a class today but wasn’t sick enough to go home. Has anyone found a good solution for this? It seems like he is allowed to stay in the health room, for awhile, whenever he says he isn’t feeling well.

[Anonymous]

What grade/age is your DC?

[Anonymous]

Ear temp ws taken because it is harder to fake a fever with it?

[Anonymous]

It is his first year of middle school so it has been a big adjustment for him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe check into anxiety, tutoring in the class and an IEP.

[Anonymous]

You need the school to gradually reduce the amount of time he is allowed to stay in the health room so he can get used to being anxious but not avoiding and staying in class. Is he in therapy?

[Anonymous]

Tell the nurse to come check his temperature in the classroom next time he feels that way.

[Anonymous]

Our kid has done weekly nurse trips or hiding in the bathroom in her short time at ES. It's classic avoidance behavior, doesn't make them weird, just a very strong sign that they are uncomfortable and need a break or an accommodation or simply to talk out their feelings.

[Anonymous]

Oh, this sounds exactly like what my DS did in a class in middle school. It was a challenging class and the teacher wasn't the most patient and it was an elective. DS didn't actually choose the class, it was basically assigned to him because it was one of the few that fit into his schedule.

I had conversations with him and I also met alone with his teacher, case manager and counselor. DS then met with his counselor. We all met together to discuss expectations and strategies for when he got overwhelmed by the instructional load. It really made a difference in helping him manage his anxiety and to learn how to work through a challenge. He didn't like the class any better, especially since he had to stay after school so often to get help from the teacher. He did not take the Part 2 of the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has done weekly nurse trips or hiding in the bathroom in her short time at ES. It's classic avoidance behavior, doesn't make them weird, just a very strong sign that they are uncomfortable and need a break or an accommodation or simply to talk out their feelings.

NP. Our ES DC does this, goes to the clinic several times a week. Yes, it's avoidance and anxiety. We got a diagnosis last year and asked for a 504/IEP last year but the school said he was fine and didn't give us anything. And he wasn't doing this last year. Can I ask again, pointing to this as support? Asking two years in a row seems, I don't know, like why bother? I'm also not sure how the school can help or what a 504/IEP would look like for avoidance or school refusal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell the nurse to come check his temperature in the classroom next time he feels that way.

In middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the nurse to come check his temperature in the classroom next time he feels that way.

In middle school?

Yes. It will take one time of this to figure out if he’s really sick or playing everyone. My money is on the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid has done weekly nurse trips or hiding in the bathroom in her short time at ES. It's classic avoidance behavior, doesn't make them weird, just a very strong sign that they are uncomfortable and need a break or an accommodation or simply to talk out their feelings.

NP. Our ES DC does this, goes to the clinic several times a week. Yes, it's avoidance and anxiety. We got a diagnosis last year and asked for a 504/IEP last year but the school said he was fine and didn't give us anything. And he wasn't doing this last year. Can I ask again, pointing to this as support? Asking two years in a row seems, I don't know, like why bother? I'm also not sure how the school can help or what a 504/IEP would look like for avoidance or school refusal.

YES, this should help qualify for a 504. We are finalizing one today for school avoidance (anxiety related) for our elementary schooler.

Supports will depend on what he is avoiding/why. In our case, any time the assignment is not extremely clear (length, expectations, examples) DC shuts down and cannot do the work. We are asking, therefor, for written directions for all assignments, an example provided when relevant, and a "flash pass" to the counselor when overwhelmed, who can talk him down and walk him back to class.

We are also trying to get an alternate class in his schedule, but that might be a big stretch.

[Anonymous]

School nurse here. I would start by calling the school nurse and letting her know your concerns. I would also ask about a meeting with her, teacher and school counselor. I have been in many of these meetings where we make a plan for when student can come see me, what needs to be tried first/done in the classroom before coming to see me. Counselor sometimes adds in a "pass" to come see her if student needs. And part of my plan is to always set a time limit. I usually say a student who checks out and is goin g to be sent back to class can have 10 minutes to reset before going back if it is a student who I think needs a few minutes out of the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the nurse to come check his temperature in the classroom next time he feels that way.

In middle school?

Yes. It will take one time of this to figure out if he’s really sick or playing everyone. My money is on the latter.

Well, he’s not “playing” anyone. He is either physically ill or in need of more emotional support at school (which is what OP assumes). Embarrassing a kid by coming to the classroom and taking his temperature in front of everyone is providing LESS emotional support, not more.