14 year old feels bad for no longer being bestie with someone

[Anonymous]

My 14 year has severe ADHD DD and lost a friend because of her immaturely, she is a freshman and she did very bad first semester, She failed 3 classes first semester, she didn't even care and thinks is funny, she even makes TikToks video's about it. A few weeks ago her friend stop talking to her, and today she found out the reason why.... She stop being friends was because my DD would always get in trouble and she will think is funny. (MY DD also got in trouble so is not like she was doing just to get her friend in trouble.)

She even got her written up for acting up in class.. her friend is ASD/ADHD and wants to do well in school, I really don't know how to help on this one. In one end her friend has a good point, but don't know what to say to her.. What should I say?

my DD thinks is funny to fail classes and gets kick out of class and gets written up. She even posted a few referrals on social media thinking its funny...

[Anonymous]

Why in the world does your child have access to social media or anything they like when they are failing 3 classes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year has severe ADHD DD and lost a friend because of her immaturely, she is a freshman and she did very bad first semester, She failed 3 classes first semester, she didn't even care and thinks is funny, she even makes TikToks video's about it. A few weeks ago her friend stop talking to her, and today she found out the reason why.... She stop being friends was because my DD would always get in trouble and she will think is funny. (MY DD also got in trouble so is not like she was doing just to get her friend in trouble.)

She even got her written up for acting up in class.. her friend is ASD/ADHD and wants to do well in school, I really don't know how to help on this one. In one end her friend has a good point, but don't know what to say to her.. What should I say?

my DD thinks is funny to fail classes and gets kick out of class and gets written up. She even posted a few referrals on social media thinking its funny...

Mine (ASD/ADHD) lost a friend last year because of this too (sounds like impulsivity). Is it possible your DD is acting like it's "funny" because she doesn't have the coping skills to make things different with her behavior and school work? Is she being treated (I mean, mine is and still gets bad grades due to EF issues and has trouble with friendship due to impulsivity), but we are looking at different meds and more intensive treatment. The person that said the thing about social media is an idiot, sorry.

[Anonymous]

You as the parent need to send the message that it is not funny. Your DD will lose more friends if she doesn't learn social skills.

[Anonymous]

Does your kid have a therapist? It sounds like she needs an expert to help her make the connection between her actions and losing friends, to help her work on impulse control, and I agree with the pp that she could be acting out in these ways because she doesn't have the skills to behave in more acceptable ways. I think the good news is that she can make friends and other kids will want to be friends if she can get these issues under control.

It also sounds like a social media break is in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your kid have a therapist? It sounds like she needs an expert to help her make the connection between her actions and losing friends, to help her work on impulse control, and I agree with the pp that she could be acting out in these ways because she doesn't have the skills to behave in more acceptable ways. I think the good news is that she can make friends and other kids will want to be friends if she can get these issues under control.

It also sounds like a social media break is in order.

Thanks you for your trips..
She talks to a therapist bi-weekly. she has very cooping skills, she is very emotional too is she currently taking medication for ADHD (Concerta) will are looking into giving her medication for depression, its a work in process. I will talk to the therapist on ways she can help, before her friend stopped talking to her she didn't make a big deal about losing friends. its not the first friend she lost this school year, but before she didn't even care. I will try to limit her screen time.

[Anonymous]

You will try to limit her screen time? Maybe just take the device away so you don't have to try. Your daughter is a bad influence and other parents are doing a better job eliminating the distractions because to them, failing isn't funny.