sleep method?

[igw80]

I wondered what some mamas think of the Ferber method? Have you used it? What is your experience with it? What do you think? Thanks!! (from an expectant mama)

[Anonymous]

You can't do any sleep training until your DC is AT LEAST 4 month old and yours is not even born yet! I'd recommend getting to know your baby before even thinking about this. Your baby may be a great sleeper from the start or what you think about your parenting style now may change when the little bambino arrives. That being said, I know some moms were glad to read the books while pregnant because if you do have a really bad sleeper, you may be too sleep deprived to read these books when you need to so I am sure many will disagree with me. But I still think you are getting ahead of yourself by trying to make these kinds of decisions now.

[Anonymous]

I sort of disagree with PP. I am pregnant with my third child and while I agree that disposition of the child makes a big difference in sleep habits and OP does not have a child yet, I don't think there's anything wrong in educating oneself about sleep habits. The Ferber book is very good about explaining sleep patterns, I found it extremely helpful when we sleep trained our second child. That said, we had also tried it on our first born daughter and it didn't work for her. She needed more from us and still does at the age of 3. I highly recommend learning all you can about different sleep methods and in the end, pick the one that works for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

OP, before I had my baby, I thought I could do Ferber or Weissbluth. After the baby arrived, I quickly realized there was no way I could ever stand to let her cry it out. It just seemed completely opposite of my instincts as a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, before I had my baby, I thought I could do Ferber or Weissbluth. After the baby arrived, I quickly realized there was no way I could ever stand to let her cry it out. It just seemed completely opposite of my instincts as a mother.

This was my experience too. I was convinced we didn't need a basinet because the baby could sleep in the crib from day 1. Hahaha, boy was I wrong. Thurns out the little one didn't even start to use the crib until he was a year old. He ended up sleeping with us - and we loved it. I would have never guessed that would have worked for us.

[Anonymous]

I think its great to read up ahead of time (and not when you're a new, sleep deprived) parent, but with the caveat that your situation may differ greatly (sort of like childbirth prep--you learn and figure out what you'd like to happen, but also have to realize you may not be able to control things). I read Weissbluth and more or less followed in general terms, but thought I never could, or would need to, do any form of crying it out, as I had a decent sleeper (eg, roused 2x a night to feed, went down relatively easily). Then at 5 months, when DC started to flip and trying to crawl and then got sick, sleep went out the window and after a month of 6-8 wakings a night and screaming for 30 min before going back to sleep no matter what we did (rocking, feeding, shushing, swing), and our formerly happy, mellow baby turned into a fussy, agitated soul, we did CIO. It took 2 nights (with about 30 min of crying, same as if we were rocking/shushing, on first night, much less on second) and we got our decent sleeper back (I still nurse 1x/night, but baby is able to get a full night of sleep and naps during the day again). In other words, its good to sound out your own feelings and those of your partner's, observe your baby, learn as much as possible, but remain flexible as well.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a good idea to read a sleep book before you have a baby to get an idea of what a negative sleep association is (rocking/nursing until fast asleep) to understand why it is a good idea to TRY and put your kid down drowsy but awake...however, your kid may have something else in mind--like both of mine It is helpful to understand about sleep cycles, I think the Ferber book is as good as any.

[Anonymous]

We put our kid on a schedule and stuck to it, if the kid cried oh well, we will be there to get them at xyz time sort of like training a dog, you teach them who is in charge.

[Anonymous]

I used Ferber when my ds was about 2. Before that I had used Weissbluth and had no issues. He never cried it out until 2 because Weissbluth uses a sleep schedule, which when I followed it prevented a cry it out situation. We got Ferber when we had toddler sleep issues, which the Setting Limits chapter is all about. Weissbluth isn't helpful for a second child, I discovered. We used Ferber primarily on dd, who is a second child.

As for reading it while pregnant, go for it! It is better to do it when you have time.

Sleep training methods are really controversial, just look at book reviews on Amazon if you doubt me. I think people who are critical of CIO, haven't actually read the books..at least this has been my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used Ferber when my ds was about 2. Before that I had used Weissbluth and had no issues. He never cried it out until 2 because Weissbluth uses a sleep schedule, which when I followed it prevented a cry it out situation. We got Ferber when we had toddler sleep issues, which the Setting Limits chapter is all about. Weissbluth isn't helpful for a second child, I discovered. We used Ferber primarily on dd, who is a second child.

As for reading it while pregnant, go for it! It is better to do it when you have time.

Sleep training methods are really controversial, just look at book reviews on Amazon if you doubt me. I think people who are critical of CIO, haven't actually read the books..at least this has been my experience.

I read Weissbluth--page for page--and I'm very critical.

[Anonymous]

I did the Ferber method was DS was 4.5 months. It worked really well and he slept through teh night, save for one feeding, until he was 7 months old and then we dropped the last feeding.

I do recommend reading it while you're pregnant -- I think it will give you a good sense of the science of sleep and what to expect from your newborn. Ferber is very clear that you cannot do any sleep training until your child is older.

Many chapters don't apply to newborns/infants anyway -- the ones on night terrors, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used Ferber when my ds was about 2. Before that I had used Weissbluth and had no issues. He never cried it out until 2 because Weissbluth uses a sleep schedule, which when I followed it prevented a cry it out situation. We got Ferber when we had toddler sleep issues, which the Setting Limits chapter is all about. Weissbluth isn't helpful for a second child, I discovered. We used Ferber primarily on dd, who is a second child.

As for reading it while pregnant, go for it! It is better to do it when you have time.

Sleep training methods are really controversial, just look at book reviews on Amazon if you doubt me. I think people who are critical of CIO, haven't actually read the books..at least this has been my experience.

I read Weissbluth--page for page--and I'm very critical.

I haven't met anyone who was critical and actually read Weissbluth or Ferber. Please note, I didn't say EVERYONE. I can tell in conversations with people if they actually read the books. Clearly, I haven't had a conversation with you. It was also my experience that if you follow Weissbluth's sleep schedule, you didn't need to CIO. You didn't really say why you are critical of Weissbluth.

[Anonymous]

We did Ferber at 4.5 months and it went extremely well. We really only had to do two nights before she slept through the night. We had a very positive, non-traumatic experience and our daughter slept very peacefully from that point on.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with 17:29. Most of the moms who hate CIO don't seem to fully understand how the process works. Thre's an assumption of cruelty and that CIO parents never, ever console or cuddle their child. Not true. Great method. My DD took 2 nights and from then on when there has been a rare instance of middle of the night crying I always go in and cuddle and rock. You just have to feel out your own situation.