Bad attitude from 8 year old

[Anonymous]

I have ordered The Whole Child Brain so I will be reading that soon. But in the meantime, help me respond to these behaviors:

-Me sitting down to read bedtime stories. I mentioned that tomorrow we will study together for the upcoming spelling bee. Kid interrupts with "I'm not doing it", I calmly ask why she doesn't want to, I get some another answer or two along the lines of "I'm not doing it", "You can't make me", then a shouted "READ THE BOOK NOW". I says it's frustrating for me to try to talk to her and being interrupted, she yells "You're frustrating".

-Asking her to do her chores or homework gets eye rolls and huffs. Or just refusal, but eventually she does what she needs to.

Overall her behavior is not usually bad, but everything feels like a struggle because every request or reminder is met with the pushback, or attitude. Constant interruptions when I try to tell her anything. When things escalate she talks very disrespectfully, says nasty things (a few times per week I would say). She is movitaved by tv, and taking away her tv time is generally her only punishment.

My husband and I definitely model respectful language and I try not to yell (but do sometimes). I have been telling her calmly not to talk to me that way, that language is rude, etc. But its not sticking and I need to be doing something different. She feels empowered to say anything she wants to me.

How should I be handling this attitude and disrespect?

[Anonymous]

Sounds similar to my DS (7). His “resistance “ episodes are mostly being goofy and hyper and hard to get him to pull it together. If it let it “run its course “ it takes 5-10 mins until he sits down for the activity. I would love to hear any advice on helping him get back/on task.