How to prepare toddler for dog rehoming?
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Anonymous
| The title pretty much sums this up. We have had our dog for about 1.5 years, and he has some aggressive tendencies that are no longer manageable with a toddler. (Please no judgment here -- we have worked with numerous trainers, lifestyle changes, etc., and are working with a reputable rescue to rehome the dog. We are very upset this is where we've ended up but know it is best in the long run for the dog and for us.) Our daughter is 2.5 years old and very attached to the dog. We are trying to figure out how to explain this change to her and welcome any tips. I've researched how to tell a toddler a pet died, but this isn't really the same situation. I honestly can't predict if our daughter will just say "Bye doggie, have a good life with the new family" or if she'll be really upset and ask about him for weeks, so any suggestions or experiences with this are appreciated. Thank you. |
Anonymous
| No worries, OP - your child is too young to have lasting memories from this dog. You can tell her he stayed with you for a while but now he's going to stay with other people. This is what people who foster dogs do and say (I foster puppies). Don't make a big deal of it. She'll probably forget he's gone and ask again for a short while, but none of it will make a lasting impression at her age. |
Anonymous
So sorry, OP. I have two dogs and this situation would totally gut me. I agree with the above about it probably not being terribly upsetting your daughter at 2.5. I would be as honest as possible in an age appropriate way with her because you don't want to have to continue the lie forever. "Max is going to a new home where he will have a doggy sister and brother...and he will have more time to run around and play. We love Max very much and we are doing this because we know that it will make him happy." Also, if not too painful - maybe keep a photo of your child with him. It could be a nice way for your child to remember him. |
Anonymous
Agree with this. My cat died when my daughter was 2.5 and she didn't even notice. She thinks she's still at the doctor, or something. |
Anonymous
| This is a total non-issue. I'd be shocked if she even remembers him more than a week or two. |
Anonymous
| If the aggressive tendencies are toward the toddler, you need to remove the dog from the home immediately. |
Anonymous
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Personally, I would just take a picture of the dog at the new house with it's new owners. If/when your child asks, say "Doggie is living with Beth and Jim now. Here is a picture." Maybe even stick it on your refrigerator. Just acknowledge their feelings like you would if they were missing a family member you haven't seen for a while. "Oh, you miss doggie. I miss doggie, too. Doggie is playing with Beth and Jim."
As long as you are calm and not sad about it, your child will work through their feelings. |
Anonymous
She will remember him but I agree that it probably won’t have some lasting traumatic impact. While not the same, we put our dog down when our son was almost 2 before he was talking much. We explained it to him in a toddler way and that was that. Well his language exploded and months later he was talking about her - so clearly he remembers her. He’s not traumatized for what it’s worth OP, but your 2.5 year old will remember your dog so I think it’s good to seek out a healthy way to explain this. It’ll be ok! |
Anonymous
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Yeah, just tell her the dog went to live with another family and you’re sad but it’s okay.
Seriously though put the dog down. There’s no “reputable” way to rehome an aggressive dog. Do the hard, right thing. |
Anonymous
This is really irresponsible. Not all dogs or cats should live with small children but that doesn't mean that they can't live perfectly happy, normal lives in adult homes. Have you seen rescue dogs listed as "Should be in a home with children who are 10+" or "Adult only home." Do yourself a favor and don't speak about things you know nothing about, especially if it involves living creatures. |
Anonymous
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Just popping on with a note of support, OP. We didn't re-home a dog who was stressed out by young kids. To keep everyone safe with the dog in our home, we live in a kind of dog jail. When kids are home the dog is gated away where she is safe from them and they are safe from her. For about a year, she would just cry and cry because she wanted to be with the family. She eventually gave up and accepted the separation, but I know she doesn't like it. We just had to wait until the kids grew out of the toddler/preschool years. Then she went fully deaf, which helped a lot since crying really freaked her out. But we still have to have the gates and she still spends way more time isolated from us than what I see in other families.
So, it's gotten better as the dogs and kids have aged, but it's nothing close to the kind of loving dog-family that others have with less easily stressed pets. And now the dog is too old (14) and too sick (multiple health problems) to even consider re-homing. So, this is the best it's going to be for her, which makes me sad. In hindsight, she would have had a much better life if we had re-homed her to a more suitable situation when she was still comparatively young. All of this is to say, I think you are doing the right thing and I congratulate you for it. |
Anonymous
| How did this come to pass? Your dd is 2.5 and you’ve had the dog 1.5 years. You adopted an aggressive dog when you had a one year old or the dog wasn’t aggressive until baby was mobile enough to bother him? |
Anonymous
You’re just going send the dog on a very stressful conveyer belt of rehoming. It’s irresponsible. |
Anonymous
| Let’s hope your kid doesn’t ever become “aggressive.” Will you “re-home” her too? |
Anonymous
JFC, you are missing an empathy chip. Not if OP places the dog in an adult home, which is what she intends to do. Killing the dog because it’s not good with OP’s 2.5 year old (who the dog will no longer be living with) is not humane — and no reputable vet would put a dog down for this reason. |