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How do you trust a stanger with your child?
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Anonymous
| I am having a really hard time finding and looking for baby sitters. My husband and I don't know anyone in the area ( just moved). I cannot see myself just hiring someone and going out on the town leaving my child with a stanger. How do you find someone? How do you trust that you are leaving your child with someone trust worthy? I know I am not the only parent who fears that their child will not be there when the get home, or be mistreated. |
Anonymous
| I have no idea! But I wanted to say thanks for posting this...I have a 14 month old and haven't been able to leave her with anyone yet. |
Anonymous
| I felt the same way but my desire to get my life back was stronger ... we don't know anyone here either but had great sucess with AU's jobcorps site. Interview people; check references; see who you feel comfortable with; have them over for a few (paid) trials while you are home so you can see their demeanor and how they interact (get to all those chores you've been neglecting); then leave them for an evening. At first, I just had them come over maybe 30 mins before dd bedtime so I reasoned how much harm could be done?? You'll never really know what goes on when you're not there but you have to live, too. Anyway we found 2 great sitters that I feel very comfortable with! |
Anonymous
| I don't think many people can trust a stranger. I would either call a nanny service and ask for recommendations or maybe a teacher if you child goes to school. |
Anonymous
| I think the idea is to start small. First hire the nanny/sitter to watch your child while you are doing other things around the house. This way you get to know each other and the child the sitter. And soon leave the sitter with your kids for 1-2 hours and then longer as the comfort level improves. |
Anonymous
But aren't those people in effect strangers too, anyone really who isn't family or a longtime friend? I don't think your suggestions are any better than vetting someone through the normal process, as other PPs have mentionned. |
Anonymous
| But a service would have a background check as well as a teacher. And hopefully, if your child goes to school, you know and communicate with the teacher. From your tone on this poster's reply you sound quite difficult, is your child difficult as well? |
Anonymous
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If you have a 'difficult' child, best to stick to family. If you are going out of town, fly a family member in to sit for you.
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Anonymous
I totally get you OP. Unfortunately, I haven't figured this "trust" thing out yet. We have three children (oldest is 7) and we've never had a sitter. Hubby is willing, but I'm not. Obviously, we don't get out much. Fortunately, the kids go to bed early so we can have "date night", but it's most of the time at home. If we go out (rare), we have the grandparents (who live about 45 minutes away) watch the kids. |
Anonymous
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First of all, as a PP suggested, perhaps you are thinking a little too big right now if you are asking about going away for a whole weekend. I've found my babysitters off of this site and off craigslist. Do your due diligence by interviewing them, watching them interact with your child, and of course checking references. Your gut will tell you whether this is someone you want to watch your child or not. I'm actually in the process of finding a new sitter right now and I can tell just from the way email responses are written whether or not I want to interview someone.
I would never hire someone in that way though to immediately watch them for a whole weekend. Our strategy is to hire someone as an occasional sitter for the evenings - a few hours here and there. Gradually, when you start trusting them more, you build up to longer - perhaps sitting all day, and then eventually, maybe, a weekend. |
Anonymous
| Hello, I completely understand your question. I will tell ya that I wouldn't make never going out an option. You and your husband will be more relaxed and patient if you have a date night once a week. I would put up a notice in your child's daycare, remember anyone who babysits had to be trusted at one point to get their first job. Now they have lots of references. My point is that until you get your regular babysit that you know well, someone has to get that shot. So, just make sure you check references, names of references, names of their bosses, etc. The Great Zucchini |
Anonymous
| Whatever happened to teenagers from the neighborhood babysitting? I used to do that all the time when I was a teen, but I guess it is a thing of the past. I don't even know any of my neighbors. Everyone keeps to themselves. The lack of community in communities is sad. |
Anonymous
| To the OP, how old are your kids? The only babysitters we've used were DD's daycare (infant) teachers whom DD was familiar with. |
Anonymous
| I will tell you that you will hire a babysitter when the need to go out and do some things with your hubby is greater than your fear of a sitter. 'I have a friend who wont do anything without her child and the child is now 8. Of course, I notice that her hubby goes away by himself sometimes and I have a sneaking suspicion that he has "company" so that is something to consider. Anyway, for some people it's a few months for some it's never. Now if you are getting close to that point of wanting some couple time I would start with a professional nanny agency like White House. This is what I did and I found some great sitters until I hired a nanny and then used her for weekend nights or her daughter when she wasn't available. You will know when you are ready so I wouldn't rush it. |
Anonymous
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we had fabulous success with the daughter of one of hte teachers in his daycare....
do you belong to a church? great place to ask. |