cost of female beauty/upkeep?

[Anonymous]

I am not a woman who is very concerned about appearances. I just buy budget basics.

My teen daughter is much more interested in everything I associate with being a more fashion and beauty conscious girl in today's society. From my perspective the things she wants on a monthly basis (ointments, creams, makeup, hair care products) are outrageously expensive. But I recognize that my perspective may be out of touch with the cost of just "looking good" as a female in the US.

So - not talking about the actual cost of getting your hair or nails done, or medical products for acne - but just the purchase of products - what is a normal amount of money for a 17 year old to spend on the following consumable products and toiletries each month?

shampoo
conditioner
hair styling products
deodorant
moisturizer
facial cleanser
body lotion
makeup remover
lip balm
makeup
etc.

Or to put it another way - is an average of $75/month to be expected for all of this?

[Anonymous]

$75 a month means she's using too much product when she applies it. She needs to look for dupes of her products that are cheaper also - Trader Joe's sells dupes, as does the local chain drugstore, Target, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$75 a month means she's using too much product when she applies it. She needs to look for dupes of her products that are cheaper also - Trader Joe's sells dupes, as does the local chain drugstore, Target, etc.

What do you think is a reasonable amount?

[Anonymous]

$75 is way too much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$75 a month means she's using too much product when she applies it. She needs to look for dupes of her products that are cheaper also - Trader Joe's sells dupes, as does the local chain drugstore, Target, etc.

What do you think is a reasonable amount?

As an example, I use organic coconut oil to moisturize my body (not face) and deep condition my hair. It's from Trader Joe's. One jar lasts me half a year, if not longer. It's the best moisturizer I've ever used in over four decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$75 a month means she's using too much product when she applies it. She needs to look for dupes of her products that are cheaper also - Trader Joe's sells dupes, as does the local chain drugstore, Target, etc.

What do you think is a reasonable amount?

As an example, I use organic coconut oil to moisturize my body (not face) and deep condition my hair. It's from Trader Joe's. One jar lasts me half a year, if not longer. It's the best moisturizer I've ever used in over four decades.

I mean, that's great for you but some people can't just slather coconut oil on our faces and hair. I've tried it - it does not work for everyone.

$75 a month doesn't seem insane to me depending on a couple of factors: where is the money coming from? is she having to learn how to budget while doing this - and learning about how if you buy this one thing, it means not getting this other thing you want? is this causing any hardship in your family?

i would say that learning about beauty and skincare at this age will probably serve her well as she goes on in life - i am almost 50 and just learning about this stuff now; could have used some practice when i was younger!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$75 a month means she's using too much product when she applies it. She needs to look for dupes of her products that are cheaper also - Trader Joe's sells dupes, as does the local chain drugstore, Target, etc.

This. She shouldn’t need to buy each of these things every month. TJs products are good products done for the private label, so they are high quality. A teenager also doesn’t need as much skincare as an older person. This is a good time to teach her that influencers are almost always sponsored and their purpose is to get impressionable people to buy. You should buy her the basics (shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, toothpaste etc) and she either spends her own money on the other or you give he a sum of money that’s discretionary each month that is for all things (eating out, clothing, etc) and it’s up to her if she chooses to spend it on makeup. There are a billion YouTube videos out there on dupes for higher end products and you don’t need 15 blushes or lipsticks. One or two will do.

[Anonymous]

Not even kidding, I would force her to do actual research. Most topical products are absolute BS. If she’s an adult woman with her own money and she wants to have a little harmless fantasy fun at Sephora? Fine. But she’s not.

Make her research the ingredients and formulations of the products she wants. Make her research the actual cost of those products. She should learn about studies and “studies,” track down any she thinks are relevant, understand who funded them and read the fine print.

Make her an appointment with a dermatologist to discuss the active ingredients she thinks she needs and why, and how best to get/apply them.

Your daughter’s problem is not that she spends “too much” on beauty, it’s that she’s being conned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$75 a month means she's using too much product when she applies it. She needs to look for dupes of her products that are cheaper also - Trader Joe's sells dupes, as does the local chain drugstore, Target, etc.

What do you think is a reasonable amount?

As an example, I use organic coconut oil to moisturize my body (not face) and deep condition my hair. It's from Trader Joe's. One jar lasts me half a year, if not longer. It's the best moisturizer I've ever used in over four decades.

That's good for you but a preposterous suggestion for a teen, who will stain everything in sight with it. No way.

OP, she is being influenced by the deluge of TikTok and friends and social media right? I am 40, but I feel that.

I have two suggestions:

1.) Have her identify a few things that are important to her to spend more on, such as a Kylie lip gloss or Tatcha skin cream or whatever it is. Make those gifts or splurges, and teach her to alternate (cetaphil in PM, a little Tatcha in PM, etc...). Explain she/you can NOT spend all your money on luxurious skin care/makeup/Lume/Native/Olaplex stuff when Caress/Dove/Garnier will do. It's ridiculous.

2.) Teach her about samples. If she is buying something, peruse Ulta or Sephora or direct website for the best deals. There are ALWAYS sample deals, often 10-packs of exploratory makeup or skin care items, or 2-3 decent sizes of minis of a coveted brand. If you purchase mid-tier items at Ulta you can get great deals there: I'm talking Cetaphil and Garner and Loreal and regular stuff like that. She will likely be satisfied with minis, and if you get good and keep at the habit of checking you'll be deluged with them soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$75 a month means she's using too much product when she applies it. She needs to look for dupes of her products that are cheaper also - Trader Joe's sells dupes, as does the local chain drugstore, Target, etc.

This. She shouldn’t need to buy each of these things every month. TJs products are good products done for the private label, so they are high quality. A teenager also doesn’t need as much skincare as an older person. This is a good time to teach her that influencers are almost always sponsored and their purpose is to get impressionable people to buy. You should buy her the basics (shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, toothpaste etc) and she either spends her own money on the other or you give he a sum of money that’s discretionary each month that is for all things (eating out, clothing, etc) and it’s up to her if she chooses to spend it on makeup. There are a billion YouTube videos out there on dupes for higher end products and you don’t need 15 blushes or lipsticks. One or two will do.

Yep - at 17 if she doesn't smoke, wears sunscreen, drinks water and gets decent sleep she shouldn't need much skincare at all.

[Anonymous]

You contribute what you think is reasonable, and she can make up the rest with babysitting or money from extra chores, if you allow that in your house. I really love designer fashion, but I can’t afford it, so I figure out how to make my budget work. For example, I bought one lovely purse that is currently being repaired by the manufacturer, but I also wear a lot of vintage. Maybe she can find a low-cost shampoo, buy splurge on a great conditioner, etc. This is an amazing teachable moment.

[Anonymous]

I just pulled my annual personal care spend (Sephora, Ulta, and a rounded number from amazon) and it averages to $150/mo. I’m not overly concerned with my appearance, but do use good skincare and hair products because I find that it allows me to skip out on heavy makeup and styling products. I also travel about half the month for work and need travel size products that I cannot refill myself at home (like dry shampoo that is $20 for a little canister).

I’m not sure $75 is too much, but it’s a high number if she wants to try anything else. I’m pretty set in my selections, so nothing is going to waste.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure what $ is needed but I would not buy anything not in the drugstore as a regular product. Sephora is for splurges and gifts unless they have special skin needs such as bad acne.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- I've just started tracking our spending with YNAB for the past 6 months, and noticed our toiletries spending monthly seemed very high for a family of 4! It's about $100/month. But when I broke it down, only about $25 monthly was for the family as a whole, and $75 on average was for these fancy beauty supplies she's been asking me to buy!

So I am going to give her her own budget for clothes and beauty. Now, to be fair, she's very frugal with clothing, and mostly shops at thrift stores. I don't think I spend more than about $200 on her clothes all year. So it's not that I am super concerned about the cost.

I just wanted to have a sense of what you all think is reasonable amount of money to spend on ointments and such.

I do not wear any makeup, so I have no need for makeup remover for instance. Or lipstick, eyeliner, blush.. I spend $0 there. What is reasonable to spend, though? $10/month? How much do you budget for makeup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just pulled my annual personal care spend (Sephora, Ulta, and a rounded number from amazon) and it averages to $150/mo. I’m not overly concerned with my appearance, but do use good skincare and hair products because I find that it allows me to skip out on heavy makeup and styling products. I also travel about half the month for work and need travel size products that I cannot refill myself at home (like dry shampoo that is $20 for a little canister).

I’m not sure $75 is too much, but it’s a high number if she wants to try anything else. I’m pretty set in my selections, so nothing is going to waste.

I appreciate that information! Thank you!