sleep after illness--are we creating a monster?

[Anonymous]

Sorry for yet another sleep post (maybe sleep issues should have its own forum??) Anyway, my 5.5 month old was never a great sleeper but up to 2 weeks ago had settled into a decent pattern, down around 7:30, usually a nightwaking around 1 am which was solved with paci and shushing, up for 1 feeding around 3 am, and then back to bed until anywhere from 6 to 7 am. We were going to wean that last night feeding when he actually slept through it until 5:30 am--then the next night, DS got some kind of bad virus and was sick with high fever for over a week. He was super fussy, woke frequently crying and hard to pacify. During that hellish week, we did anything we could to get him to sleep and also to nurse since I was worried about dehydration as he wasn't nursing as much as usual. That meant nursing several times a night and DH sometimes taking baby out in car to get him to sleep when all else failed. Fastforward a few days after his recovery and now at night he is a little monster. He usually goes down fine and sleeps until midnight, then the wakings begin. He wakes, is restless and then if left alone that escalates to full bore crying that takes either nursing and 30 mins of rocking/walking toget him down. If we go to him right away, he may settle in 10 minutes (after nursing and shushing) but in either case, this continues about every hour until 6 am. He is tired, we are tired, DH and I are fighting over best way to deal with this (right now, I take midnight to 3 am shift, he takes 3-6 am shift, and he usually gets DS in the car and drives around which worried me--tired dad in the car at 3 am with baby....but he is also at his wit's end).

anyway, he's almost 6 months, so although I wasn't sure I was going to do CIO, it looks like ethat is the next step--but did anyone's kid return to better sleeping patterns on their own after illness or did you have to resort to other measures? also, DH is not really on board with CIO--he goes to DS anytime the kid whimpers, where I've learned that sometimes leaving him for 5 minutes to fuss is the key to getting him back tro sleep (sometimes, but not lately). And if you did CIO--Ferber or Weissbluth (which we have, but it is looking guiltily at me on the shelf, as we've been ignoring pretty much every one of his principles, though I try for the 2 hour window/nap schedule).

[Anonymous]

First, screwed up sleep patterns after a sickness are really typical. It takes a bit to get back in the groove.

Second, is there any chance he's teething? That age was rough on my son, at least, with night pain while teething. He cut his first two right at 5.5 months.

Are you pumping at all? Would baby take a bottle of breast milk at night? That way, you and your husband could switch off a bit on the night time wakings/feedings.

I did CIO, but waited until about 10 months, which is what I felt comfortable with. That all depends on the baby and family, IMO. And I just did the 5 minutes at a time...

[Anonymous]

Yeah, illness does that. I think it is Weisbluth who has a separate chapter for sleep training after illness. Of course, he means more serious illness and older babies, but there may be good advice in there.

[Anonymous]

I've found it takes some time after illness to get back to a normal routine. But I'm wondering if your DS is still waking that frequently if he isn't uncomfortable in some way (teething, ear infection)? Maybe if you try some Tylenol and he sleeps better, that might indicate discomfort?

[Anonymous]

OP here, it could be teething, but I haven't seen other definitive signs. We did give him tylenol once in case he was in pain but it didn't help much (knocked him out but he was up again in an hour). Plus he sleeps fine from 8 to midnight, its the 12 to 6 am that is difficult. I have noticed that DS is really a creature of habit--for a while I tried a dreamfeed which only had the effect of making him expect a feed at 11 pm as well as 3 am. I cut it out but for 4 days after he would consistently wake at 11 pm with his mouth searching for the boob (I replaced with paci). His wakings during his illness were all midnight to 6 am, when fever was highest and now I think he just wakes at those times, can't get himself back to sleep, and is upset by it all. He's napping right now after only a small struggle to get down, and naps are not so much of an issue (oddly since they were always more unpredictable) but its the nighttime that is the drama now. Yesterday he napped for 3 hours abut 1.5 hours after waking up at 6 am (in the car, I might add, which I know is not ideal).

I also think that we're in some way contributing to it all--when he does these nightwakings, he's not fully awake (his eyes are closed but he cries and squirms). I try to do as little as possible to get him back to sleep so as not to further wake him, but he wants the boob, and then that starts the pattern of nursing every hour. DH can't do that, but the whole production of putting him in the car, which is DH's solution, wakes up baby so getting him back to sleep is tough.

I will read the Weissbluth chapter on sleep after illness.

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You sound to me worried about CIO. I will just say my DH and I did it at 3.5 months. Our DS was waking up every 45 minutes to 2 hours every night. We do not agree on much, but we both agree it was the best thing we ever did.

We had two hard nights, so we began on the Friday of a long weekend. As you know, the key is consistency, so it's hard when babies are sick, you have to take care of the poor LO, and this means inconsistency. But if you can find a method that makes sense to you and be consistent about following it, I think you will all be the better for getting your rest.

Hang in there.