What can be done to help an adult with high functioning autism?

[Anonymous]

Sorry this is not kid related--this seemed the most relevant place to post. My sister is in her 40s and has well documented high-functioning autism (as well as various other issues including ADHD, bipolar, learning disability, and general lack of executive function). She has always worked but also always gotten fired after about one to three years at each job. She cannot manage her own money (my parents give her money even when she has a well-paying job, she has no sense of where her money goes, she impulse purchases large items, and she is constantly in debt; however my parents are old and cannot keep funding her forever), she frequently gets kicked out of apartments because they are so messy (and she is possibly is late on rent), and she struggles to get along with others. She has a kind heart and really wants to connect with others, but her social skills are almost non-existent. I think she is about to lose another jobs and she is despondent about it so I am trying to find any resources at all to help her.

It seems like she is in this unfortunate middle ground where she really struggles to maintain a clean space, manage her money, and keep a job but her disability is not so severe that those things seem completely out of reach at least over short time periods. She lives in Maryland.

I would be extremely grateful for any resources at all for where to start about how to help someone. Are there any state programs in Maryland for adults with high functioning autism? Any agencies I could contact for more information about resources? Recommendations for lawyers who could help outline options to help her? Any general advice? Thanks so much in advance!

[Anonymous]

Is she on any meds for ADHD? I would strongly recommend starting there. I am assuming she is on meds for the bipolar, but there are non-stimulant meds won't trigger a manic episode.

If she is open to it, DBT could be very helpful. It has helped a lot of people with bipolar and emotional dysregulation in general.

And if not DBT, look at an executive function coach to help her set up some systems.

I have ADHD and "adulting" is a real challenge.

[Anonymous]

Wow, that is a long list of issues. I'm sorry.
My child has ADHD/HFA/various LDs/low processing speed, and it's stressful thinking how he'll manage his own affairs as an adult.

She has to work with a psychiatrist to figure out which combination of meds work for all her diagnoses.

She might benefit from an organizational coach - they are used to dealing with ADHD kids, but they'll gladly help an ADHD adult. They will teach her how to use a planner, phone reminders, general life routines, etc. Coaches are expensive, however. Perhaps her location also gives free financial literacy classes at her local college or library, but they won't be targeted towards ADHD in particular.

Finally, I don't know how close your relationship is, but is it possible you might help her with her accounts? Remind her of payments due, how much she has left, etc? If she has an app on her phone, could she get into the habit of checking it before purchasing something new? Managing ADHD is mostly about building healthy routines in your life. Once you create a habit ("always check bank account before spending more than $100", for example), it tends to stick.

[Anonymous]

I have an adult son with ASD and mental health issues combined. I just find that the independent lifestyle is not realistic for him. He needs a social structure at home to help him manage his life. For now he lives at home but we would like a backyard apartment for him. And he seems happy living at home and working. He has trouble with neatness, staying and meds, etc.

I think a family compound is a better social model than totally independent living sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried contacting DORS and Cornerstone? Long wait list but eventually they will get around to an intake interview.

Also, has she applied for Social Security? She may qualify for a work program with a counselor to help her develop skills to improve work outcomes. Also, she would be assigned an employer willing to hire someone who has needs like your sister.

A therapist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy or DBT might also be benificial to develop coping skills.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thank you so much for the helpful replies, everyone!

Is she on any meds for ADHD?

Yes, she regularly sees a psychiatrist and is on meds for ADHD as well as several other issues.

Finally, I don't know how close your relationship is, but is it possible you might help her with her accounts?

Unfortunately she is not open to this (I as well as others have offered many times over the years). She values her independence and has made clear that she considers this an intrusion. However, this is under the current situation where my parents are willing to give her money with no such strings attached. If my siblings and I contributed to her cost of living once my parents are not able/willing to do this, we would make this a condition of funding but I am hoping to find a solution where she feels empowered.

Have you tried contacting DORS and Cornerstone? Long wait list but eventually they will get around to an intake interview.

Also, has she applied for Social Security? She may qualify for a work program with a counselor to help her develop skills to improve work outcomes. Also, she would be assigned an employer willing to hire someone who has needs like your sister.

Thank you, I have not heard of any of these options and will look into them--also I would love to hear more about anyone's experience with any of these options.