What kind of therapist can help with this?

[Anonymous]

This is difficult for me to articulate, so please bear with me.

DS is 9 and medicated for inattentive ADHD and anxiety. He has some HFA traits such as hyperfocusing on topics (obsessing) and saying socially inappropriate things (acting too goofy, interrupting constantly, doesn't seem to "get" that he is annoying adults).

Teachers report that he has a positive attitude at school and he does have a good little group of friends (they are not the coolest or most athletic, but they are friends and see each other frequently). What concerns me is that he cannot seem to let go of the smallest slight, to the point that it clouds his perception of experiences and people. If someone playfully says "Oh, that's so dumb!," he takes it personally and will write off that person forever. Months later, he still hasn't let it go and talks about how that person is no longer his friend. When reminiscing about an awesome summer camp, he said "Actually, I didn't have fun. On the first day, someone called me an idiot. This happens to me everywhere I go. People are always mean to me, no matter what I do. I made one friend there, but the rest of the boys were mean to me." He says this about every single experience. He has said this about half of his classmates and is unwilling to give them a second chance.

Quite frankly, it's annoying and exhausting to listen to. I'm sick of playing armchair therapist and trying to talk to him about the normalcy of rejection and discussing positive things instead. I have no idea of much of this is normal for the age, or an indication of something that warrants therapy. I fear him growing up to be a loner who is irrationally mad at everyone. I really fear this.

Can anyone offer some guidance?

[Anonymous]

Cbt is good for this type of thing. There are lots of books oriented for kids online if you don’t want to do therapy. I might explain the concepts snd gently talk about times he (or you or dad of big sister) had said something snippy for starters.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like my niece who has ADHD, anxiety but also highly intelligent/gifted. She sees a child therapist who specializes in this area- recommended by the docs who diagnosed her.

[Anonymous]

Google rejection sensitive dysphoria. It's really common with ADHD. CBT or play therapy (depending on age/maturity) helps, as does treating the anxiety (is he on meds just for the ADHD or also the anxiety?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google rejection sensitive dysphoria. It's really common with ADHD. CBT or play therapy (depending on age/maturity) helps, as does treating the anxiety (is he on meds just for the ADHD or also the anxiety?)

OP here. He is medicated for the anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Google rejection sensitive dysphoria. It's really common with ADHD. CBT or play therapy (depending on age/maturity) helps, as does treating the anxiety (is he on meds just for the ADHD or also the anxiety?)

Yep, this is what it is. Very difficult to treat.DH is like that, he is medicated for both adhd and anxiety. This dysphoria is a beast of its own.

[Anonymous]

This was my DS precisely at that age. Definitely not HFA. You’re really jumping to conclusions on that. My son did not start on stimulants until high school and I would definitely not put such a young kid on anti-anxiety meds. I didn’t even know doctors would prescribe them to someone so young. Please do get a great therapist to do CBT, some social skills groups, and a little later, executive function coaching. All of these things were far more helpful for my son than all the drugs. And before people jump all over me—he has quite severe ADHD and massive executive function deficit. And yes, it was very very hard on his self-esteem and still is as a sophomore at a top 20 university. Truly I’m not judging, but I really would re-think multiple meds for such a young guy with ADHD. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old is the same way. We have tried multiple therapists and he just won't open up to them. Honestly, the best thing for us was for my husband and I to go to therapy to learn techniques to deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was my DS precisely at that age. Definitely not HFA. You’re really jumping to conclusions on that. My son did not start on stimulants until high school and I would definitely not put such a young kid on anti-anxiety meds. I didn’t even know doctors would prescribe them to someone so young. Please do get a great therapist to do CBT, some social skills groups, and a little later, executive function coaching. All of these things were far more helpful for my son than all the drugs. And before people jump all over me—he has quite severe ADHD and massive executive function deficit. And yes, it was very very hard on his self-esteem and still is as a sophomore at a top 20 university. Truly I’m not judging, but I really would re-think multiple meds for such a young guy with ADHD. Good luck!

Why on earth would you judge someone who, in conjunction with a doctor, has chosen to treat her child's medical conditions? I'm glad for you that your child did not have debilitating anxiety, but undertreated anxiety can have lifelong consequences.