For those who "made it" career wise, what is your advice?

[Anonymous]

I'm a relatively junior in-house corporate lawyer at a large company. I want to be promoted to a higher level in the next few years (i.e. a more managerial level where your income increases a lot), but I struggle with confidence about whether I am "good" enough. I think I'm smart and can do the work on paper, but what I lack confidence in are my oral communication skills. I've never been one of those people who can hop ona group call and confidently offer unique viewpoints, or go on and on about my "opinion" about a complex issue. A lot of the time, I prep extensively for calls and think about what I'm going to say beforehand. I think I sound smart and confident when I prep, but I don't function as well when I have to think of things to say on the spot and I tend to stay quiet unless I feel like I have something to offer. Also, I'm not really a social butterfly who can comfortably chat up the higher ups in my group in a way that really gets them to like me or want to advocate for me. As in I will do it if I need to, but it doesn't come easily to me.

It makes me feel kind of down because I went to good schools, got good grades, got good jobs, did all the right stuff. I just don't know if I have it in me to get to the next level in my career.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.

[Anonymous]

Three pieces of advice that I think are applicable to all (most?) career tracks:

1. Recognize that *you* brings specific skills to the table. You have specific value. You do not need to be like everyone else to be successful, you need to be the best version of you that you can be. Focus on your strengths and work towards constantly improving in those areas. Don’t ignore your weak areas, but do understand that you will never be able to improve on your weaknesses as much as you can bolster your strengths.

2. Understand that it’s okay to say “let me consider some options and get back to you” or “I’m not completely sure about that, let me confirm and follow up” and then actually follow up. Almost every powerful person I have ever worked with would much rather have someone quiet that they can trust to be accurate and dependable than some blowhard who always has a quick response.

3. Network. Every job I’ve had since my first I got because I knew someone. Build and maintain your network as if it’s part of your job.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm the only in house lawyer at a mid tier company (under $100 million). Work where you are until you figure out where you'd like to work and learn next. I've done Big Law, high tech, government contracting. I love running my own shop, having control of my policies, budget and workload. You have so many options!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three pieces of advice that I think are applicable to all (most?) career tracks:

1. Recognize that *you* brings specific skills to the table. You have specific value. You do not need to be like everyone else to be successful, you need to be the best version of you that you can be. Focus on your strengths and work towards constantly improving in those areas. Don’t ignore your weak areas, but do understand that you will never be able to improve on your weaknesses as much as you can bolster your strengths.

2. Understand that it’s okay to say “let me consider some options and get back to you” or “I’m not completely sure about that, let me confirm and follow up” and then actually follow up. Almost every powerful person I have ever worked with would much rather have someone quiet that they can trust to be accurate and dependable than some blowhard who always has a quick response.

3. Network. Every job I’ve had since my first I got because I knew someone. Build and maintain your network as if it’s part of your job.

I never thought about #1. Thank you

[Anonymous]

The best book I have read about the kind of employee every employer wants (and who managers rely on) is Impact Players. Really a good read if you want to learn skills that will make you invaluable. The skills transcend subject matter. That, plus, you need to focus on maintaining and building relationships (which is what networking is). Look for mentors and be a mentor.

[Anonymous]

Consider joining Toastmasters - These oral skills and corporate confidence can be learned

[Anonymous]

Choose a setting where your temperament is a match, whether that’s government, in-house, a hospital, whatever. If you haven’t already specialized, choose an area of the law in which others who are successful are a lot like you in terms of personality, strengths..

[Anonymous]

Are you taking classes or doing training on communications skills?

I’m not a lawyer, but I do a lot of work with c-suite level folks, and while some are outgoing and some are quiet, all of them are good communicators. That doesn’t mean dominating the conversation, but it means being able to understand what is important to the conversation/topic and how to say it in a way that is informative to the audience. Sometimes it’s very high level, sometimes it’s very technical - part of being a good communicator is having the judgement to understand what your audience needs.

I was Terrible at talking/writing at a high level when I left grad school, and really paid attention on my first couple of jobs to the kinds of information that senior leaders were asking for/consuming. I have learned a lot, and now a big part of my role is client-facing communication because I can distill technical jargon and recommendations in clear ways. I have gained confidence because I now feel like I understand what is relevant to my audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three pieces of advice that I think are applicable to all (most?) career tracks:

1. Recognize that *you* brings specific skills to the table. You have specific value. You do not need to be like everyone else to be successful, you need to be the best version of you that you can be. Focus on your strengths and work towards constantly improving in those areas. Don’t ignore your weak areas, but do understand that you will never be able to improve on your weaknesses as much as you can bolster your strengths.

2. Understand that it’s okay to say “let me consider some options and get back to you” or “I’m not completely sure about that, let me confirm and follow up” and then actually follow up. Almost every powerful person I have ever worked with would much rather have someone quiet that they can trust to be accurate and dependable than some blowhard who always has a quick response.

3. Network. Every job I’ve had since my first I got because I knew someone. Build and maintain your network as if it’s part of your job.

This is great advice. I’m not OP but thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three pieces of advice that I think are applicable to all (most?) career tracks:

1. Recognize that *you* brings specific skills to the table. You have specific value. You do not need to be like everyone else to be successful, you need to be the best version of you that you can be. Focus on your strengths and work towards constantly improving in those areas. Don’t ignore your weak areas, but do understand that you will never be able to improve on your weaknesses as much as you can bolster your strengths.

2. Understand that it’s okay to say “let me consider some options and get back to you” or “I’m not completely sure about that, let me confirm and follow up” and then actually follow up. Almost every powerful person I have ever worked with would much rather have someone quiet that they can trust to be accurate and dependable than some blowhard who always has a quick response.

3. Network. Every job I’ve had since my first I got because I knew someone. Build and maintain your network as if it’s part of your job.

This is good stuff. I'm still working on #2 consistently, but when I follow this advice, it works out well.

[Anonymous]

Confidence. Believe that you deserve things, ask for the things that you deserve (if they are important to you).

Take ownership in your career. Be planning ahead. Make strategic decisions.

Make your boss's life easier, not harder. Don't whine, don't complain - it will never fix anything. Anticipate what your boss's boss wants from them -- and everything you do should be in service of that goal.

Have a high earning spouse. It takes tremendous professional pressure off. Both DH and I have been able to take dramatic risks in our jobs, knowing that we had the other as financial back up if something went wrong. Those risks were what made our careers. We are both now mid-40s, each have salaries close to seven figures, and work full time remotely, with good work life balance, in jobs we both find very satisfying.

[Anonymous]

Experience brings confidence. Spend your time getting as much experience as you can, as broadly as possible. When you have experience, you will be more confident speaking up. Then, as you begin to direct others it will show you are ready to manage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you taking classes or doing training on communications skills?

I’m not a lawyer, but I do a lot of work with c-suite level folks, and while some are outgoing and some are quiet, all of them are good communicators. That doesn’t mean dominating the conversation, but it means being able to understand what is important to the conversation/topic and how to say it in a way that is informative to the audience. Sometimes it’s very high level, sometimes it’s very technical - part of being a good communicator is having the judgement to understand what your audience needs.

I was Terrible at talking/writing at a high level when I left grad school, and really paid attention on my first couple of jobs to the kinds of information that senior leaders were asking for/consuming. I have learned a lot, and now a big part of my role is client-facing communication because I can distill technical jargon and recommendations in clear ways. I have gained confidence because I now feel like I understand what is relevant to my audience.

OP here - no classes or training for now.

This is great advice, thank you. Part of my issue with group calls is figuring out where the conversation is going and what I can say that truly adds value. I’d rather not speak than say something pointless or redundant so I end up not speaking up which I then feel self conscious about.

[Anonymous]

OP I would encourage you to notice the other people who are speaking and saying something of lower quality than you would have said. Once I did this, I realized I was surrounded by men who were going to speak just to hear themselves talk and not add any value, and from there it was just one step to “I have to speak up because otherwise someone else will do so and waste our time.” From there it’s just practice to get comfortable.

[Anonymous]

I guess be happy thinking "you made it", because there is no agreement on a definition.