How much advance notice to give a kind nanny with mediocre job performance ?

[Anonymous]

This is the second year our nanny has been with our family. She is a kind person and reliable, but there have been constant performance issues. We have discussed them with her at various points and things change temporarily, but always return to baseline.

In a situation like this, how much notice would you give your nanny if you decide to let her go earlier than you discussed previously but are trying to do it kindly so she has time to find a new position? She is expecting to stay with our family through the summer but I think we are going to find a new care arrangement in May. Her performance issues range from small to large but include periods of excessive personal phone use, an inability to manage both our kids requiring one parent to always be available to deal with the second child, periods of excessive screen use with the kids, not tidying up and letting the kids make a disaster of the playroom and leave toys scattered in every room of the house, never planning outings/activities so one parent always is responsible for figuring out activities and outings and then telling her what to do, not preparing simple meals (sandwiches, cutting cheese or fruit) and only serving packaged snacks for meals and lunch, letting kids barge into the office or scream outside the door and not removing them when one parent is in a meeting, etc.

Our children like her, and we think she’d a nice person, but our job performances are both suffering greatly from how hands on we have to be (and trust me, we don’t want to be but the kids would be eating goldfish every meal and never playing outside if we let that happen). Is a month enough time?

[Anonymous]

Only tell her when you are ready to have her leave the next day/week. I dont mean wait until May. But have backup lined up.

[Anonymous]

I'd give her notice as soon as the new person you've hired can start and would offer to pay her for the two weeks and she doesn't have to come in. I wouldn't wait until May - I'd look aggressively for a new nanny right now.

[Anonymous]

One month is plenty time.

She sounds incompetent, frankly. We've had au pairs for years and all of ours could run circles around her, and au pairs are often considered not on par as professional nannies.

[Anonymous]

Tell her on her last day and give two weeks severance. You don't want a fired employee caring for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Wow, she sounds lazy/incompetent! A month is adequate.

[Anonymous]

I’d pay out the 2 weeks have a new nanny start Tuesday

[Anonymous]

She is not mediocre; she sounds terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the second year our nanny has been with our family. She is a kind person and reliable, but there have been constant performance issues. We have discussed them with her at various points and things change temporarily, but always return to baseline.

In a situation like this, how much notice would you give your nanny if you decide to let her go earlier than you discussed previously but are trying to do it kindly so she has time to find a new position? She is expecting to stay with our family through the summer but I think we are going to find a new care arrangement in May. Her performance issues range from small to large but include periods of excessive personal phone use, an inability to manage both our kids requiring one parent to always be available to deal with the second child, periods of excessive screen use with the kids, not tidying up and letting the kids make a disaster of the playroom and leave toys scattered in every room of the house, never planning outings/activities so one parent always is responsible for figuring out activities and outings and then telling her what to do, not preparing simple meals (sandwiches, cutting cheese or fruit) and only serving packaged snacks for meals and lunch, letting kids barge into the office or scream outside the door and not removing them when one parent is in a meeting, etc.

Our children like her, and we think she’d a nice person, but our job performances are both suffering greatly from how hands on we have to be (and trust me, we don’t want to be but the kids would be eating goldfish every meal and never playing outside if we let that happen). Is a month enough time?

Change now. Any competent nanny would not have the bolded issues. Great nannies don’t have any of the above issues.

[Anonymous]

I agree that your Nanny definitely does not sound like she is fit to be a Nanny.

But w/o being snarky - you really should stress to your children that while you are working, that they must NOT knock on your door or barge inside (you should keep the door locked.)

One of the challenges of being a Nanny for parents who telecommute is that they leave 💯% responsibility up to the Nanny regarding leaving the parent alone.

The child should respect that their parent is working + be instructed not to knock on doors, calling for them.

I once worked for a Mother who worked from an upstairs office and had to quickly use the bathroom.
I told the five-yr old child to sit outside the bathroom door, on the steps to wait for me to come out.
And as soon as I closed the door he ran upstairs and barged into his Mother’s home office.
Unbeknownst to me, it was during a conference call and after I went upstairs to get the child, the Mother ripped into me with everyone listening I am sure.
She berated me for not doing my job and said I was wasting her money.

Needless to say I respectfully stayed silent, apologized then didn’t return the next week.

[Anonymous]

She's not happy. OP u suk?
If you wanna keep a nanny, treat them nice.

Hire a humble nanny?

[Anonymous]

She sounds exactly like our summer nanny. I honestly worried she has a screen addiction. We were happy for her to leave at the end of the summer!

[Anonymous]

Ooooof, OP, she sounds downright bad at her job. I'm sure she's a nice person, but that doesn't make any of this OK.

I agree . . . give her two weeks' severance and let her go as soon as you have someone lined up.

And remember, you're not doing anyone a favor by enabling their incompetence. Setting expectations and refusing to accept half-assed efforts are kindnesses in the long run.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? If they are difficult to manage and they are screaming and barging into your office, it would be more useful to address their behavioral issues before bringing another nanny in.