DC Faked Sick

[Anonymous]

My almost 5yo got up from nap time and ran to the bathroom and “threw up” so that she could come home. The teachers bought it and now she’s home while I’m trying to work. She admitted it to me, saying she missed me and wanted to come home. I just told her I’m happy she told me and she can tell me anything and that was that. What more, if anything, would you have done in this situation?

[Anonymous]

I'd tell her in the future if she misses me, to tell her teacher just that. And I'd pull up some crap about how I'm always in her heart or some similar bs. I'd give her something small of mine she can keep in a pocket or wear that can let her feel close to me, etc.

[Anonymous]

In addition to the PP's advice above, make sure that being "sick" isn't fun. When my mom thought we were faking, she'd call our bluff and let us stay home, but we had to stay in bed all day, we couldn't play outside, no TV, etc. If we were genuinely sick, we wouldn't protest (because when you're really sick you just want to lay in bed), but if we were faking, that took away the incentive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the PP's advice above, make sure that being "sick" isn't fun. When my mom thought we were faking, she'd call our bluff and let us stay home, but we had to stay in bed all day, we couldn't play outside, no TV, etc. If we were genuinely sick, we wouldn't protest (because when you're really sick you just want to lay in bed), but if we were faking, that took away the incentive.

Not this. Dc is looking for a connection. It’s the first week back after a long break, understandable.

[Anonymous]

You are inviting a lot more of this. Tell her if she tells the teacher she’s sick again she will have to go to the doctor. That always worked on us when my mom did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are inviting a lot more of this. Tell her if she tells the teacher she’s sick again she will have to go to the doctor. That always worked on us when my mom did it.

That’s what my dh said but I don’t want to penalize her for being honest with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the PP's advice above, make sure that being "sick" isn't fun. When my mom thought we were faking, she'd call our bluff and let us stay home, but we had to stay in bed all day, we couldn't play outside, no TV, etc. If we were genuinely sick, we wouldn't protest (because when you're really sick you just want to lay in bed), but if we were faking, that took away the incentive.

Not this. Dc is looking for a connection. It’s the first week back after a long break, understandable.

Disagree. I’d completely shut this scam down. My kids know sick means sick. No screens, stay in bed.

I would do as others suggest - give her something to bring to school.

[Anonymous]

Take her back to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are inviting a lot more of this. Tell her if she tells the teacher she’s sick again she will have to go to the doctor. That always worked on us when my mom did it.

That’s what my dh said but I don’t want to penalize her for being honest with me.

But she can be dishonest to others? Coming clean doesn’t eliminate the first lie.

[Anonymous]

When my kid did this it turned out that she was having anxiety issues over the teacher leaving to attend a meeting.
Definitely don't make it fun and give her an alternative to do when she misses you (call you, draw you a picture, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are inviting a lot more of this. Tell her if she tells the teacher she’s sick again she will have to go to the doctor. That always worked on us when my mom did it.

That’s what my dh said but I don’t want to penalize her for being honest with me.

So you are basically saying that the two of you can keep a secret from the teacher and it is ok to lie to someone else. Don't go down this road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are inviting a lot more of this. Tell her if she tells the teacher she’s sick again she will have to go to the doctor. That always worked on us when my mom did it.

That’s what my dh said but I don’t want to penalize her for being honest with me.

It's not a punishment!

[Anonymous]

My FIL was a doctor and my MIL was a nurse and my H still laments how he was never able to fake being sick as a kid. LOL. Our son did this (saying he was sick so I came early to get him) in first grade and like PP mentioned, we made it not fun to be home sick. He stayed in his bedroom, and there was no extra screen time or fun activity. He didn't do it again. Now he's in upper elementary and gets upset when he needs to stay home (like when he had a fever) because he can't see his friends. I think you can support her desire to be with you but also make it clear that it's not ok to lie in order to go home early. Like explain if it happens again, she will be resting in her room, there's no extra play time with you. That way if you have to enforce those consequences, she already knew what would happen. It's not punishment...you are setting future expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to the PP's advice above, make sure that being "sick" isn't fun. When my mom thought we were faking, she'd call our bluff and let us stay home, but we had to stay in bed all day, we couldn't play outside, no TV, etc. If we were genuinely sick, we wouldn't protest (because when you're really sick you just want to lay in bed), but if we were faking, that took away the incentive.

My mother's rule when we were home sick was this - we were in bed, no tv, no playing with toys, etc. Because honestly, if you are sick, that's where you belong.

IF we had ever thought to 'play sick' we wouldn't have because it was a bit boring in our bedrooms, although I had all the books I could read so that was a good thing!

[Anonymous]

You and your husband need to get on the same page & quickly. Children are manipulative and your daughter will play you like a card for the next 10 years if she can.