Applying to out from mainstream….

[Anonymous]

Has anyone applied for SN privates for accepted and then decided to stay at their current private? I applied for two schools for my second grader who is rising 3rd who isn’t doing horribly bad but I just kind of want supports at one location.

Of if you did apply and decided to keep them at their current private, what was your reason?

[Anonymous]

Bump

[Anonymous]

My situation was a little different, but my kid was in public, and we applied and moved to a SN private. It was a GREAT choice. It was not and is not the perfect fit, and we are now trying to figure out what exactly to do at the next natural transition point (middle school), but it made a huge difference for him socially, behaviorally, and academically.

Your question is confusing. Why did you apply if you didn't want to move? Are you second-guessing whether it is best? This seems more like a question of what you should decide than anything related to applying and then not moving. The one thing I will caution is that you clearly felt there was a need to apply to SN schools, so don't forget that if you are considering staying where you are. If they can put in place some further supports or something, great. If not, it is going to be more of the same, and it sounds like that hasn't been working for your kid, or you wouldn't have applied elsewhere. I was very worried about what it "meant" to move my kid to a SN school, but I realize in retrospect that this was not a negative thing at all.

[Anonymous]

I have known kids who had a rocky transition to a grade level, applied out, and things were better by the time they were in a position to make a choice. Or who had a rocky year with a bad teacher, and decided at the end to apply out the following year, and then got a great teacher the next year and decided to stay.

I will say, though, that so much of a kid with disabilities experience at school, especially private school but in public too, has to do with the degree of teacher buy in. If a teacher believes that kid shouldn't be in their class, or would be better served elsewhere, they often aren't going to problem solve well, or will do subtle things that kind of sabotage a kid's performance. Many teachers in private believe that schools for kids with disabilities serve students perfectly. If they have a kid who struggles a little, and is applying out, their internal narrative might be "This poor kid, and his poor parents. They're trying so hard, I'll do whatever I can to support him while they figure it out". If that kid comes back, that narrative might shift to "I can't believe they made that decision" and they might either consciously do less "If the parents aren't doing right by their child, why should I do extra work to compensate" or subconsciously "He doesn't belong here, he belongs in that school they applied to, that's why he's struggling, I won't change anything because there's no point, his struggles are because he doesn't belong here", or even "They obviously didn't realize how hard things are for us with him here, I'll do things that will highlight the struggles, and then they'll make the right choice."

You might think that you could get around this by just not telling them your child was accepted but then it's easy to become "If X school thought he was too disabled to be there, then obviously he's too disabled to be here! What's the point in problem solving".

So, I'd be aware that applying out and not going can have negative impact.

[Anonymous]

If all parties involved including current and new school know everything, then there are no secrets. We were in a similar situation with our 1st grader. It was very early in the year when things started to come up. I would say October. Because it was going to be a while before we could all the nuero testing and evals done, we did decide to apply to a SN school for 2nd.

I’m the meantime we did do OG tutoring twice a week and addressed adhd for hyperactivity. So 5 months had passed before decisions were made. We were at a very well known school and then we also got accepted to 2 SN schools. Our daughter made huge strides in that 5 month period.

My husband and I met with the current school and we went over all the data and possibilities. We did that because we knew if we turn down the schools now, we probably would have to wait to apply for middle school or go public. We decided to stay for 2nd grade. By the 3rd grade, everything just clicked all around. Still slow processing but could keep up and was on grade level.

Fast forward, she’s now a 7th grader at Holton and has done extremely well. It really just depends on the child. You have to go with your gut. Just to put something in perspective, the SN schools want you to come there to stay and not come with a “fix my child” attitude so I can go back mainstream. However, I know 2 parents, you did just that and left Lab after elementary and went mainstream.

I will say Lab elementary is great because you get a lot of individualized instruction because it’s very small for 1,2 and 3rd grade.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for the typos….