Telling DH I need a break from his parent?

[Anonymous]

Sorry to pile on another IL rant, but I need help because I don’t want to seem like a jerk.

IL are local, we’ve hosted them twice this week, (is it “hosting” if local? Anyway…) once all day Christmas Eve, and another last night for dinner in our home. I love my IL but they are like bulls in a china shop, demanding, and settle in/aren’t great about leaving. It’s fine, just exhausting.

Kids are off school next week and IL are already asking to come visit the kids. DH goes back to work, I don’t. The break from the kids would be nice, but the cost:reward isn’t worth it to me, who will be home.

How do I politely voice to DH that I need a week or two break from his parents without sounding like a jerk!

[Anonymous]

"I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I need a break from family visits." Simple. Unless your DH makes it an issue.

[Anonymous]

Don’t mention them, just say you need alone time for four days. If he brings up his parents suggest meeting them at a restaurant for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I need a break from family visits." Simple. Unless your DH makes it an issue.

I don’t think he will make it an issue, but I think he will see it as a bonus for me (I can sneak off while they are here) and will not want to disappoint his parents.

[Anonymous]

Would you ask the same if it were your parents and your DH made the same request?

[Anonymous]

How are they demanding? Why are you answering to their demands?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you ask the same if it were your parents and your DH made the same request?

Absolutely not. That’s part of the issue. I’m disappointed in myself for never standing up for myself.

[Anonymous]

“Entertaining your family is actually a lot of work, and I’m exhausted. You can have them over again when you can run point on everything, but I am taking a break.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are they demanding? Why are you answering to their demands?

They are just elderly and clumsy/messy, always want warm coffee, snacks, meals, which is FINE of course, but then they make messes. It sounds horrible to say it out loud and I’m embarrassed. It’s like having two more toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you ask the same if it were your parents and your DH made the same request?

Absolutely not. That’s part of the issue. I’m disappointed in myself for never standing up for myself.

Well, we can’t help you if you aren’t willing to grow a backbone, honestly. What is the point of threads like these if you won’t even take basic steps to care for your own needs, wants and wishes?

[Anonymous]

Can you drop off the kids at their house? That's what I do.

[Anonymous]

Just say you are tired and not up to hosting anyone next week including his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you drop off the kids at their house? That's what I do.

+1. Other than that "I need a break and to recharge with no one in my face for another week".

[Anonymous]

We have seen your parents twice in this vacation. It’s been nice, but now I need a week without company before I go back to work. If they want to get together with the kids, please arrange to go out to dinner after work.

[Anonymous]

Are they capable enough to take the kids to a local playground? Give you a break for an hour? Or watch the kids for 2 hours at your house while you go out?