a shi$$ day

[Anonymous]

I’m going to be screaming in the void of dcum here because I don’t have any other place I can be truthful. Everyday is so, so hard. Everything is an argument, a struggle, a tantrum, a negotiation, a screaming match, every moment. The happy memories are fading so fu€£ing fast with each day and everything snowballs into shi$$. I thought I’d be a better mom, and I don’t know how people are happy being parents. There are no happy moments. I miss the old me and my quiet, peaceful, orderly, happy, sunny, accomplished life.

[Anonymous]

I feel you OP. How old are your kids? Mine are 8 and 10 and it has gotten better, but from time to time I find myself thinking, “I want to go home!”, and longing for my quiet, clean apartment from my single days.
My husband is a good guy, but doesn’t live up to my parenting expectations. He works more than I’d like (started his own business and it hasn’t translated into lots of money at least, and we’re years into it now) and so I often feel like a single parent and lonely.

[Anonymous]

Your kid feels the same way.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Are you looking for empathy, solutions, or something else?

[Anonymous]

I was miserable for about 6 years. It was a dark time. There is light at the end.

[Anonymous]

For whatever this is worth, I have found that the parents who have the hardest times with their kids are the parents who create the least amount of structure for their kids.

If creating a schedule (and in the beginning it will be super difficult, because change is hard and enforcing change is even harder) doesn't fix things, then look into whether your kid has special needs. Even during the worst of the Terrible Two's there should be sweet and fun moments sprinkled throughout the day.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, OP. Based on the forum you posted in, you’ve got a super young kid. I didn’t even like my child until he was around 3. There was zero joy those first few years, just survival. He’s now 8 and things are much better. Baby/toddlerhood is a long slog, but there is an end to it!

[Anonymous]

DH and I, loved, loved, loved, every age, every stage of our children.

But, I was a great mom from morning till 6 pm and catered to my kids in every way so that they were super happy children. After 6 pm, I was actually very tired and absolutely done. I did not have the energy to do anything.


My DH was the evening guy. Super fun dad who adored being with the children and took care of dinner, bath, story time and cuddles. Kids slept around 9pm. He took care of everything in the evening. He would come home from work at 6 pm. He would take over and I would be in bed.

We let our kids sleep in late on weekends. And we outsourced every thing we could, even though we were middle class. We soon realized that without the cleaners, we would probably be divorced. We could not have managed if any one of us had to ever had to do relentless childcare like many of you do. We absolutely know our limits.

So sh$$$$$t days were majorly averted by design and we very much loved parenting. Of course, we did not have fun like we did in our single days. We socialized with other people with kids and served only Pizza and Taco Bell. Every outing was a kid-friendly outing, every destination was a kid-friendly destination, every weekend was attending birthday parties etc and it also meant that I became a SAH.

Does it become better? For sure. After a while, it becomes better. Then they have other problems.

[Anonymous]

My toddler is easy going, we have great structures and routines, and this has been a hard week. So many of our activities are unavailable. The most important things are:
1) never argue with or scream at a toddler
2) go outside unless it’s cold and raining at the same time. Even if you only last 10 minutes.
3) set up safe indoor spaces where they can play and you can ignore them for a bit (lovingly)
4) peppa pig is better if you have AirPods in playing something salacious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I, loved, loved, loved, every age, every stage of our children.

But, I was a great mom from morning till 6 pm and catered to my kids in every way so that they were super happy children. After 6 pm, I was actually very tired and absolutely done. I did not have the energy to do anything.


My DH was the evening guy. Super fun dad who adored being with the children and took care of dinner, bath, story time and cuddles. Kids slept around 9pm. He took care of everything in the evening. He would come home from work at 6 pm. He would take over and I would be in bed.

We let our kids sleep in late on weekends. And we outsourced every thing we could, even though we were middle class. We soon realized that without the cleaners, we would probably be divorced. We could not have managed if any one of us had to ever had to do relentless childcare like many of you do. We absolutely know our limits.

So sh$$$$$t days were majorly averted by design and we very much loved parenting. Of course, we did not have fun like we did in our single days. We socialized with other people with kids and served only Pizza and Taco Bell. Every outing was a kid-friendly outing, every destination was a kid-friendly destination, every weekend was attending birthday parties etc and it also meant that I became a SAH.

Does it become better? For sure. After a while, it becomes better. Then they have other problems.

It sounds like you won the husband lottery. Mine sucks a$$ (not OP).

[Anonymous]

Well I've had a shitty day myself too. Currently self-medicating with chocolate!

Hang in there, OP. When you're tired and the kid is screaming, you don't explain or talk. You dump the offender in their room (it's safe, I assume), you close the damm door, and you walk away.

[Anonymous]

2 year old and 6 year old mom here. This week has just sucked the life out of me. Older kid is sick. 2 year old has roseola and literally will not sleep unless is is on a parent. Otherwise he just screams and cries. On top of this and their special needs which I am desperately trying to get diagnosed and managed, I often hate my life. I remember the woman I was before, who had time for dinners with friends, exercise, sleeping in, travel, trying new recipes. She had so much freedom, and she didn’t even know it. I don’t think she would recognize the haggard shrew I have become. I love my kids, but my god parenting them is so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I, loved, loved, loved, every age, every stage of our children.

But, I was a great mom from morning till 6 pm and catered to my kids in every way so that they were super happy children. After 6 pm, I was actually very tired and absolutely done. I did not have the energy to do anything.


My DH was the evening guy. Super fun dad who adored being with the children and took care of dinner, bath, story time and cuddles. Kids slept around 9pm. He took care of everything in the evening. He would come home from work at 6 pm. He would take over and I would be in bed.

We let our kids sleep in late on weekends. And we outsourced every thing we could, even though we were middle class. We soon realized that without the cleaners, we would probably be divorced. We could not have managed if any one of us had to ever had to do relentless childcare like many of you do. We absolutely know our limits.

So sh$$$$$t days were majorly averted by design and we very much loved parenting. Of course, we did not have fun like we did in our single days. We socialized with other people with kids and served only Pizza and Taco Bell. Every outing was a kid-friendly outing, every destination was a kid-friendly destination, every weekend was attending birthday parties etc and it also meant that I became a SAH.

Does it become better? For sure. After a while, it becomes better. Then they have other problems.

It sounds like you won the husband lottery. Mine sucks a$$ (not OP).

I still have young kids but so far, I share PP’s sentiments. I really really love every age and of course some days are harder than others but, as a “not a kid person” person, I’m shocked at how much joy it brings me. And I have an insanely helpful spouse who is the better parent and pulls more than his fair share. You always hear the corny advice for choosing who to marry but IMO it’s all true. Marry the nice guy, ladies.

[Anonymous]

It's so, so, so hard when they are little. The more support you have (spouse, other family members, outsourcing ANYTHING you can afford to outsource from cleaning to cooking to laundry), the better. ES is the sweet spot, when they look up to you and respect you, before the rebellious MS/teenage years.

Hang in there, it truly does get better! I remember those dark days as if it were yesterday. Now, our 2 are grown and flown so to speak, and are lovely young adults who we enjoy spending time with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 year old and 6 year old mom here. This week has just sucked the life out of me. Older kid is sick. 2 year old has roseola and literally will not sleep unless is is on a parent. Otherwise he just screams and cries. On top of this and their special needs which I am desperately trying to get diagnosed and managed, I often hate my life. I remember the woman I was before, who had time for dinners with friends, exercise, sleeping in, travel, trying new recipes. She had so much freedom, and she didn’t even know it. I don’t think she would recognize the haggard shrew I have become. I love my kids, but my god parenting them is so hard.

My 1yo and 3yo BOTH wanted to sleep on me yesterday (they both have colds right now); it was such a bad day. I (and they) got 5 uninterrupted hours of sleep last night so hopefully today will be better!