Are you an only child or parent of an only child or married to an only child?

[Anonymous]

Do you think life as an only child has disadvantages? Do you think people with siblings have kind of support which only child misses?

[Anonymous]

I’m an only child with an only child. My mom, dad, MIL, FIL and DH all have shitty relationships with some or all of their siblings. I wouldn’t mind a sibling or a sibling for my DD If I could guarantee everyone gets along, isn’t crazy or narcissistic, etc but it doesn’t work that way unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

I have an only. He is a very happy kid, blessed with many UMC advantages, who never wanted a sibling (he sees cousins and friends with siblings fighting all the time). We are a quiet, introverted family.

I do worry about what happens DH and I get old / need help, but hopefully he will have his own family by then and a supportive partner that will help him navigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only. He is a very happy kid, blessed with many UMC advantages, who never wanted a sibling (he sees cousins and friends with siblings fighting all the time). We are a quiet, introverted family.

I do worry about what happens DH and I get old / need help, but hopefully he will have his own family by then and a supportive partner that will help him navigate.

+1, and we save a lot so that when we are old she will have money to throw at the problem (us).

[Anonymous]

I'm an only and parent of an only, I've never felt like I'm missing support not having siblings. I know people with siblings who have great supportive relationships and I know people with siblings who have awful relationships that make their lives worse. There's just not really a way to know what you'll get until it happens.

[Anonymous]

I have an only child. (DH and I both have siblings and come from large extended families.)

I can see the benefits of having siblings, but being an only has benefits too for the whole family. We can live a higher quality of life and have a calmer family dynamic with just one. And, most importantly: I would not be able to handle more than one. As my grandma said, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"

[Anonymous]

I’m an only with an only. I don’t feel I’ve missed out. Happy to have been the focus of my parents attention and resources. Also know so many people with bad relationships with their siblings.

[Anonymous]

Entirely depends on temperament, OP.
Some siblings hate each other, some are lifelong built in support. Some only kids are well adjusted, some are lonely and maladjusted.

There is no rule.

[Anonymous]

I am an only child married to someone with siblings. We have kids.

I was perfectly content being an only child when I was growing up. I had my own room, didn't have to fight over what program to watch on the TV, and was able to go to a more expensive colllege because my parents didn't have to put multiple kids through school. The community I grew up in had kids everywhere, so there was always someone to play with or hang out with. The only time I suffered for not having a sibling was on vacations, when it would have been nice to have another kid to do things with.

As an adult, I wish I had siblings. I would like for my kids to have aunts, uncles and cousins on my side of the family. And I have an aging parent who may need support soon, and the idea of doing that all on my own, without the help of adult siblings, is daunting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an only child married to someone with siblings. We have kids.

I was perfectly content being an only child when I was growing up. I had my own room, didn't have to fight over what program to watch on the TV, and was able to go to a more expensive colllege because my parents didn't have to put multiple kids through school. The community I grew up in had kids everywhere, so there was always someone to play with or hang out with. The only time I suffered for not having a sibling was on vacations, when it would have been nice to have another kid to do things with.

As an adult, I wish I had siblings. I would like for my kids to have aunts, uncles and cousins on my side of the family. And I have an aging parent who may need support soon, and the idea of doing that all on my own, without the help of adult siblings, is daunting.

This resonates so much with me. It was fine growing up as an only. I was introverted and loved reading and my small group of friends. We also had family friends and extended family very often (like weekly). It was not lonely at all. I am close to my parents and got a lot of attention (but also some friction).

As an adult with my own kids I hate it. It feels very isolating. I wish my kids have close uncles, aunts and cousins. Yes I realize it doesn't always work out that way, we can make our own community etc. But the holidays etc always leave me feeling depressed and a bit lost like there just isn't anyone close in our orbit to share our lives with.

[Anonymous]

I have a sibling, who because of his issues has never been a source of support to me or my parents, who is unlikely to be one ever, and who will likely be a source of stress to me when our parents are gone. We got along okay, but have never been close. My spouse has siblings, to whom he is close in varying degrees. Our kid is an only child, and I feel like there are advantages and disadvantages, and certainly no guarantees that siblings will be a benefit. She enjoys spending time with her cousins, but doesn't see them often because that sibling married someone who is not especially interested in spending time with his side of the family.

[Anonymous]

I have a brother who tormented me endlessly growing up. I have an only because I waited too long and its really all I can handle. My DC has had a happy life and is well adjusted.

[Anonymous]

I am an only who has an only. Siblings don't automatically mean support. My parents both had siblings and for various reasons they did not get along. My H has multiple siblings he does get along with. I've posted before that I've experienced both sides (small family of three, larger family of multiple siblings and cousins) and there are plus and minuses on each side. It all depends on what you decide to focus on: you can choose to focus on the burden of elderly parents alone, or you can focus on the freedom of making decisions without having to negotiate with anyone else. Anyway, my kid is happy and healthy as an only.

[Anonymous]

I am an only child. I was never lonely and only wanted an older sister for purposes of having more clothes. Funnily enough, my best friend is an only child too. I'm not upset at all to have an only child.

[Anonymous]

My only child is lonely and really wants a sibling. We don’t have a lot of extended family and DC is a little introverted. A sibling would have helped some with that and also provided company. DH and I are older parents so we’re not as young and fun as we could be, which probably doesn’t help.

That said, I grew up with a sibling and often wished I was an only child. We have a fraught relationship as adults.