8yo w/asd has sudden spike in anxiety, why?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My dd is 8, she is dx ASD and giftedness. She goes to a small private school (not sn and not local to the board) where she generally seems accepted despite her 'quirks'. Recently, her teacher told me of a few incidents-in one, she was asked to change seats (teacher wanted to rotate seats and put another student closer) and dd said no! DD is generally compliant and well behaved but she could not get her head around the idea of changing seats. Number 2-usually students put their completed paper in a basket on teacher's desk, but one day teacher was busy and collected them herself. DD burst into tears!
Now, it's the 2 week Christmas break. DD is with my mom when I'm at work-this is normal so there hasn't been any huge routine changes. DD has been weepy, crying that she didn't watch her shows that day that she watches in order (she usually does not adhere to that rigidly, and mom is happy to let her watch her shows). She told my mom she hopes she (my mom) is still alive next Christmas (her dad's stepmom passed recently). DD had dinner at her dad's (we are divorced and coparent amicably) and she had a meltdown when he cut her sandwich in half, repeating 'I want to control my sandwich!'. She just seems so anxious and weepy. Usually she's happy, and not so rigid. I don't understand what brought it on and what this is. We did just start therapy, had one session (dd likes the therapist) 2nd is Friday. I found the therapist after the teacher told me about the incidents. I will email her my concerns. I guess I am wondering, what is this and what brought on the upscaling of it? Is it part of ASD? or something else? |
Anonymous
| Anxiety often goes in waves. Winter can be worse, school breaks, change in routine, schedule, birthdays. Hormones can really make it increase, although she’s a little young for that. It’s good that she’s starting therapy. |
Anonymous
|
Sorry you're going through this. I think there are a few likely things - one might be that it is the holiday season, and a lot is changing. That happens this time of year. Even good things like looking forward to time off of school, travel, presents, time with grandparents, etc., can be stressful and impact the routine.
The other could be age. Our kid started to have more trouble with rigidity around age 8-9. Not saying that is certain, but it did become more pronounced then (although it was also post/during COVID, so who knows). |
Anonymous
| I can't totally sort out timing here, but sometimes I am more emotional after I've restarted therapy. Sometimes, someone listening to me talk gives me permission to feel things I might want to gloss over, but it can be on the path to healthier ways of being. It sounds sad to deal with, and you sound like a wonderful and observant parent. I hope you can get through the holidays and back to the routine and that you get some answers and some calm. Hugs to you. |
Anonymous
| It is likely due to many of the above issues. You should talk with the other adults in her life about to cooperate on a plan to help her manage her feelings. She’s having trouble being flexible, so you need to listen to her feelings, acknowledge them, gently point out that this one of those times that she will have to be flexible, and help her to come up with a plan B. You can also talk out loud about yourself when you have to be flexible, so she starts to understand. You can tell her that you had to park your car in a different place than usual at work, and you didn’t like it, but it was just for one day and it is not a big deal. Kids like this have trouble realizing what should be a big deal vs. a little deal. And praise the flexibility when you see it. |
Anonymous
| We had to put our DD with ASD on anti-anxiety medications at that age when she began to self-injure. In hindsight, we should have started sooner since the warning signs were there but we were trying not to resort to medication. |
Anonymous
| PANDAS? Could she have had a recent strep illness? |
Anonymous
I don't think so, I do think her allergies are acting up-mine are-we live in a warmer climate and things bloom here at different times of year. I restarted zyrtec for her yesterday. Thank you everyone who responded. It gave me some good ideas to discuss with the therapist. It is a journey for sure-as dd has gotten older, some things have lessened (the sensory issues) and some increased. I love her so much and just want her to always feel happy and loved. |
Anonymous
Your child is not always going to feel happy. No one is ever always happy. I know that we all want that for our kids but it's completely unrealistic. We can however always love them and make them feel loved! |
Anonymous
I know, but tonight...she was in distress for an hour. It was hard to see her so upset. It's been a long time since she had an episode like that but this week has been something else... |
Anonymous
I have an ASD teen. It is hard to see them in distress! Do you have a weighted blanket for her? I swear by them. It’s pricey but I swear by the10 pounder to reduce anxiety. https://bearaby.com/products/the-napper?nbt=nb%3Aadwords%3Ag%3A16733771486%3A136289816578%3A590472452290&nb_adtype=&nb_kwd=bearby&nb_ti=kwd-429446096084&nb_mi=&nb_pc=&nb_pi=&nb_ppi=&nb_placement=&nb_si=%7Bsourceid%7D&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=e&gclid=CjwKCAiAnZCdBhBmEiwA8nDQxTFwmwyCgNAIp-ruQ3HOAr8gtMSLUCbXqLHxcMa0gyqRQXSMaqYPzRoCzJEQAvD_BwE |
Anonymous
| Was she close to her dad’s stepmom? Losing a grandparent can be difficult. |
Anonymous
This. It seems quite obvious so I’m surprised other PPs didn’t seem to notice it. I guess she’s just realized that people can die. Real people. |
Anonymous
OP here. She wasn't particularly close to step-grandma because the first few years of dd's life we didn't live close and since we moved close is when the dementia started. But I'm sure it has had some effect, she hears about it at her dad's house. She had therapy Friday and the therapist said she's hyperfixating and that it's common with kids with asd. Also because the changes of the holiday break and death and stuff. Going to work on it in therapy for now. What a week, my poor kiddo, I hate to see her in so much distress. |
Anonymous
Sorry you’re going through this, OP. My ASD DD was really worried about me and grandparents dying when she was about that age. Same thing- relative she knew but wasn’t particular close died and set it off. I suspect you are right that it’s the combo of that and holidays. Poor thing- hope she’s feeling better soon. |