Getting them into a car seat is the bane of my existence

[Anonymous]

For weeks now, my toddler has been going stiff-body on me as soon as I try to put them into their car seat. Loading them into the car takes 10+ mins!! They refuse to sit in their car seat so I can buckle them and some how contort their body like a human noodle. What am I doing wrong??

[Anonymous]

That’s my toddler too, if that makes you feel better

[Anonymous]

Yep this was my reality for a while. Is the toddler old enough to step into the carseat him/herself? We went front-facing a bit earlier than the most conservative recommendation bc she was horrible about being put into the rear-facing seat and did a lot better when she could "do it herself"

[Anonymous]

How old?

Short term solution -- give bribes. You can have a snack or a treat once you are buckled in. My kid would do almost anything for a small piece of chocolate at that age.

Long term solution -- make them feel like they have choices. Do they want you to lift them into the seat or do they want to get in on their own? Do they want to wear their jacket in the seat or take it off before we buckle? Do they want to listen to a podcast or music in the car? And so on. Just help him to feel like he has some agency over the situation so he feels less like he's being pushed around. The timing of when you leave somewhere in the car will generally not be up to him, so try to give him some choices around how you get in the car, or at least offer some appealing incentives.

[Anonymous]

If you get buckled into your carseat nicely, I'll play your favorite song.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old?

Short term solution -- give bribes. You can have a snack or a treat once you are buckled in. My kid would do almost anything for a small piece of chocolate at that age.

Long term solution -- make them feel like they have choices. Do they want you to lift them into the seat or do they want to get in on their own? Do they want to wear their jacket in the seat or take it off before we buckle? Do they want to listen to a podcast or music in the car? And so on. Just help him to feel like he has some agency over the situation so he feels less like he's being pushed around. The timing of when you leave somewhere in the car will generally not be up to him, so try to give him some choices around how you get in the car, or at least offer some appealing incentives.

This. Give them choices you don’t care what they pick but ultimately gets your goal accomplished.
It allows them to have some ownership and control- very developmentally appropriate. Same idea as cleaning up- do you want to start putting away legos or books first? Give two options not open ended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old?

Short term solution -- give bribes. You can have a snack or a treat once you are buckled in. My kid would do almost anything for a small piece of chocolate at that age.

Long term solution -- make them feel like they have choices. Do they want you to lift them into the seat or do they want to get in on their own? Do they want to wear their jacket in the seat or take it off before we buckle? Do they want to listen to a podcast or music in the car? And so on. Just help him to feel like he has some agency over the situation so he feels less like he's being pushed around. The timing of when you leave somewhere in the car will generally not be up to him, so try to give him some choices around how you get in the car, or at least offer some appealing incentives.

Great ideas but no winter coats in the car seat - nothing thicker than a fleece.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was this way until I turned her car seat around to be forward facing. I turned her around a couple months early, in the middle of a road trip, because she got so sick sitting backwards that she was vomiting everywhere and also figured out how to unbuckle the top part of her seat belt. I turned her car seat around and she’s been happy in the car seat ever since. I absolutely don’t advocate for turning the car seat early, but in her case I was constantly worried about her choking on vomit, and half the time she was unbuckling herself, so forward facing was much safer.

[Anonymous]

I would bribe my kids when they got to that stage.

I would have a treat (relatively healthy) that they liked and could only have once in their seat without a fuss. They didn't get this treat any other time and if they did a tantrum they didn't get it.

Only had to do this a few months until the phase passed.

[Anonymous]

My children get in and out of their seats often, as I take them doordashing when they are not at preschool. I start with letting them get in themselves, and if they don't listen I try a bribe, and if that doesn't work I just stuff them in there.

[Anonymous]

This became a big issue for my toddler when new baby sister arrived (older sis was 22 months old), along with a variety of other behavior issues related to the upheaval -- M&Ms or chocolate chips were the solution to the car seat protests and things eventually got better!

[Anonymous]

https://youtu.be/0ltt07YAiQ4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://youtu.be/0ltt07YAiQ4

This made my day!

[Anonymous]

Look at your watch and give it a couple minutes. My kids are a little older then what you describe but I taught my son around 3 and my daughter picked up when she was older 2 how to get in their seats and buckle themselves. I put them in the car, close the door and then sit in the driver seat while they get buckled in. On days I’m rushed it’s horrible. But if I look at the clock and think, I can sit here for 4 minutes and play on my phone, they will get in and buckled in on their own time. But if I’m just telling them what to do, over and over it’s not happening. Also remember it’s just a season, it won’t last forever. Difficult while you are in it, but it will end.

[Anonymous]

Karate chop