Why do people with small kids choose not to hate their pool?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that has a three and one year old and frequently hosts parties. Kids run out the front and back doors to the pool. I’ve seen her own 3 year old jump in multiple times with his clothes on. Why not just hate it? We very rarely go to her house because it’s such a stressful situation keeping an eye on all 3 of my kids second by second and feel like they are safe if I’m not standing right by the huge i hated pool, accessible from every single door in the house and property. Isn’t she worried her own kids will have an accident?

[Anonymous]

G GATE
autocorrect- sorry!

[Anonymous]

Such a huge liability. I would never have a pool if it was ungated/fenced. In some jurisdictions I believe it's required to have a fence of a certain hegiht around the pool and to also have alarms on doors leading outside so you're alerted if someone (i.e. a small child) is leaving the house.

Your friend enjoys risk, it seems.

[Anonymous]

We moved to the south where everyone has a pool, every single family we know with young kids has one or is putting one in. I was more like you when we first moved here but it’s just a different culture. It’s like people who grow up by the ocean who aren’t scared at all of it. That said, everyone I know has safety measures (and pays a lot for them). Your friend sounds like a hillbilly.

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty sure in most municipalities, pools are required to have fences and latched gates around them. I’d say your friend is not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that has a three and one year old and frequently hosts parties. Kids run out the front and back doors to the pool. I’ve seen her own 3 year old jump in multiple times with his clothes on. Why not just hate it? We very rarely go to her house because it’s such a stressful situation keeping an eye on all 3 of my kids second by second and feel like they are safe if I’m not standing right by the huge i hated pool, accessible from every single door in the house and property. Isn’t she worried her own kids will have an accident?

Why don’t you ask her? You will get an actual correct answer because you will know why she in particular doesn’t. Hear you’re just gonna get guesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m pretty sure in most municipalities, pools are required to have fences and latched gates around them. I’d say your friend is not the norm.

The issue is, the fence can go around the edge of your property - ie, your house is "in" the fence. So it protects your neighbors, but not your kids.

This was the case when my brother bought his house, which has a pool, and the first thing they did was put a high, secure fence and single gate with a strong, high latch around only the pool area. That way, his kids can play in the backyard without access to the pool, and none of the doors of the house lead directly to the pool area.

Not doing this when you have kids is absolutely crazy to me. I'm a pretty free range parent, and I often think parents are a little crazy about small dangers, but drowning is the #1 cause of death for children ages 1-5. Yes, it's higher than car accidents. If you've got a pool your kids have access to - that risk level is INSANE. I'd be more likely to let my kids sit unsecured in a car all the time than to live like this.

[Anonymous]

I equate it to people who grew up with a lake house - kids can go right out the door and into the lake in a blink of an eye. I agree that it’s a partially a culture thing and also a “that wouldn’t happen to us” type of thing. I have seen adults have to jump fully clothed into a pool to rescue their kids, and they kind of laughed it off, like “oh that crazy kid”. My kids swim year round as their main sport and I’m still keeping an eye on them in the pool, and my eyes are definitely on them at all times at the beach.

From what I’ve read, aside from kids being unsupervised at the pool, the tricky situation is when there are lots of adults and kids around and each kid doesn’t have a designated person to watch them. Everyone assumes that nothing bad could happen because there are so many adults around.

Car safety and water safety, folks! Those are the biggest ones that we can actually do something about for our kids.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Arizona. Everyone has a pool. Kids all learn to swim competently at a young age, though. I have no idea why your friend hasn't gated her pool (I mean, I have some ideas, like my it kills their outdoor aesthetic, but they shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence as things like child drownings).