Hosting Xmas with new baby

[Anonymous]

I gave birth a few weeks early and although healthy, our son is small for gestational age (5 pounds 9 oz). We were going to host Christmas inner for my family and my in-laws, but I am worried about 20 people being in the house for an extended period of time with RSV/Flu/COVID circulating. We have an older son who is in preschool, so it's not like the baby won't be exposed to germs this winter. The hosting duties will be light (my mother, MIL and the rest of my family are taking care of all of the food and place settings, etc.) so I'm not concerned about that, but should I be concerned about the germs or is the chance of exposure to germs the same if we're hosting or going somewhere?

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness, change venue! That’s a lot of work for anyone, much less a new mom.

[Anonymous]

I would not risk that much exposure with a newborn.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you in this situation. RSV and any of the other viruses are no joke for newborns. If under 2 months and they spike a fever they may require a spinal tab.

Honestly I would want to cancel or at least postpone until the baby is past 2 months and has gotten some shots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not risk that much exposure with a newborn.

+1 The long term effect of covid haven't begun to be uncovered.

[Anonymous]

I’m usually lax and believe that babies need to build up their immune systems, but this would be a hard no for me.

[Anonymous]

I would not host Christmas. Or New Year's. Or Valentine's Day. Or Easter. Or Passover. Maybe Memorial Day.

[Anonymous]

I might be willing to "host" in the sense of letting my partner host while I mostly hid the bedroom with the baby (assuming everyone is only coming for a few hours) and no one would care if I was in and out as I was comfortable with and I liked all the people coming. I think the risk for RSV/flu/Covid could be okay for me at a dinner party provided the baby is mostly not in the room and none of the guests are the kind to demand to hold the baby. If they are, or you think it would be even slightly stressful/miserable for you, or you just plain don't like any of these people, I think the risk is big enough you should feel zero guilt in cancelling.

[Anonymous]

I would not do it. Go read some of the threads about family members who brought flu/Covid to Thanksgiving because they didn't want to miss out and "it was just a cold." With a newborn? No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m usually lax and believe that babies need to build up their immune systems, but this would be a hard no for me.

Same. My toddler’s experience with RSV was very challenging and really opened my eyes to the dangers of that particular virus, even in healthy children. I wouldn’t want to deal with putting a newborn at risk for that (plus flu and Covid) with a large family gathering right now.

[Anonymous]

I think the germ risk is slightly heightened if you’re hosting, but I wouldn’t bring baby at all unless he will be 7 weeks old. You can get his first shots at six weeks if you ask, plus a week for effectiveness. (Not sure if that’s chronological or adjusted age, so ask ped.).

[Anonymous]

RSV was really hard on my toddler. Any way you or your husband could ask your family members to confirm that everyone is healthy before they come over? Totally fine to bail on hosting, though. No sane person would judge you under the circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a question for a pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not do it. Go read some of the threads about family members who brought flu/Covid to Thanksgiving because they didn't want to miss out and "it was just a cold." With a newborn? No way.

+1. Small newborn it's the year for a nuclear family Christmas. Maybe your parents come over or something, and you keep the baby in a sling, but this year I think it's worth stepping back from a big celebration.

[Anonymous]

My kid was SGR and that (in and of itself) has nothing to do with immune system, so that’s kind of a silly excuse. You didn’t say when you gave birth but if it was recent (as in plans changed - you weren’t supposed to have him and now he’s here) then yes obviously you can and probably should cancel, though should do it soon. If you gave birth 8 weeks ago and are regretting your decision then be honest about that, and ASAP. You have a right to do so and in that situation your guests also have a right to be a little annoyed.