Why do my parents do this?

[Anonymous]

Just found out my parents will go to random restaurants or places with fountain beverages, purchase the smallest cup, and then will proceed to refill it enough times to fill a large jug they carry into the establishment. My mother just bragged about it to me. She told me she doesn’t think it counts as stealing because they pay for the cup and are allowed free refills, plus they often order food. I guess they do this a few times a week. It can’t be financial because a 2-liter jug is larger than the jug they bring to the restaurant, and they pay for the cup they use to fill it. They are mid-70s. I don’t even know what to say. Neither have cognitive decline, both just had check-ups. I’m so embarrassed and honestly sad for them.

My friend once told me her parents do this with napkins and the rolls of plastic bags from the produce department.

[Anonymous]

OP, be firm that you don't want to hear about it

[Anonymous]

Tell them not to call YOU from the big house (jail).

[Anonymous]

It's for frugality bragging rights and a sense of one-upmanship. Even if they are well-off.

I knew a couple in their 70s who were multi-millionaires and yet when dining out, the man (a retired CEO) would order a glass of plain water and then ask for several lemon wedges and a sugar packet. He'd make his own lemonade.

He was literally gleeful that he was able to get something for nothing and proud he was "beating the system" in some way.

[Anonymous]

Reminding me of this...

https://www.theonion.com/area-man-forces-self-to-drink-another-free-refill-1819564931

[Anonymous]

A two liter bottle is probably cheaper than what they pay for the soda at a restaurant. Not to mention more sanitary and better carbonation. Gross.

[Anonymous]

We sorta did this growing up. Paid for a soda with free refills and put 8n 5 straws fir all of us to drink.

Variations of this is mor common than you think.

[Anonymous]

My elderly father does stuff like this. Just one example, instead of buying a pint of nondairy creamer for $2-ish, he filled a cup with nondairy creamer from the self-serve coffee area and then talked them out of charging him for it (or maybe they weren't even going to charge him for it, I'm not sure).

[Anonymous]

Old people do strange stuff, our time is coming.

go to a McDonald's in the morning, they are all there drinking coffee because of free refills and then take the cup home to bring it back the next day,.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a generational thing. My in-laws are the same age and well off, but they do similar things like take ketchup packets and sugar packets home or fib on my kids’ ages by 1 year to get a free or discounted event entrance.

People in their 60s and 70s were raised by parents who lived through the depression. My MIL will spend 30 minutes darning my son’s Target cotton socks. I can understand darning a pair of smart wool ski socks, but these are 8pr for $5 cotton socks that we use for cleaning rags or save up for textile recycling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a generational thing. My in-laws are the same age and well off, but they do similar things like take ketchup packets and sugar packets home or fib on my kids’ ages by 1 year to get a free or discounted event entrance.

People in their 60s and 70s were raised by parents who lived through the depression. My MIL will spend 30 minutes darning my son’s Target cotton socks. I can understand darning a pair of smart wool ski socks, but these are 8pr for $5 cotton socks that we use for cleaning rags or save up for textile recycling.

This- wrt to the generational part and the reason for it. Especially applies to people who grew up poor, but even some who didn’t have the same mindset due to what they saw others experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A two liter bottle is probably cheaper than what they pay for the soda at a restaurant. Not to mention more sanitary and better carbonation. Gross.

This, a two liter bottle costs like $2 at Target. If you are frugal, I'm sure you can buy them in bulk and get the unit price down to close to $1. There is no way they are getting even a small soda for less than $1 at these places, plus the time and energy required to do this is pretty high, in addition to the risk of someone at the restaurant seeing them and making them leave or even banning them from the restaurant.

On the other hand, my mom has started acting pretty weird in her 70s, specifically lying randomly about things and developing a strange sense of humor. She is acting kind of like a rebellious teenager. She had a lot of childhood trauma so I assume it is related to that. I largely just ignore it and when she does things that could be embarrassing, I just detach and remind myself that she is her own person and I'm not responsible for her behavior.

[Anonymous]

I'd stock their pantry with 2 liters as a Christmas gift! haha

[Anonymous]

Raised by depression era parents?

[Anonymous]

My mom does something similar, OP, thank you so much for writing. I could never write down the examples even on an anon message board. I've never known anyone like that in real life.

I've always assumed it comes from a scarcity mindset. But in my mom's case I don't really understand it because she was fine growing up and in adulthood. Unlike the poster, it's not really about bragging. It's more a value to not spend one unnecessary cent.