This is attention-seeking, correct?

[Anonymous]

Not sure if my step-sister is actually experiencing such severe menopause symptoms at 60 or if this is her typical attention behavior. We have different mothers, but my mother was 60 when my first child was born and she was WELL into menopause and symptoms no longer a thing.

Whenever, and I mean whenever, we are gathered together my sister complains about her intense menopause symptoms. She is overweight and I want to believe this is the main issue with her hot flash complaints, a large group huddled together in one room, but she will turn bright red and will dramatically complain until someone opens a door wall or window for her to sit in front of. Then she will go on about her menopause symptoms.

She also complains about any number of other malady, and always seems to suffer from the latest thing.

It’s also odd she always seems to suffer from hot flashes to that extreme whenever we get together as a large group.

So, humble me if intense symptoms are a thing at 60, almost 61, or if this is probably attention-seeking, for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

If she turns bright red like you say, she's not faking it. It sounds like she does have bad symptoms. How she deals with it determines whether she's seeking attention over it.

[Anonymous]

Overcrowded rooms get hot.

She can't make herself turn bright red at will.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's normal for 60. On the late side but not outside the normal range. Buckle up, you might have the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she turns bright red like you say, she's not faking it. It sounds like she does have bad symptoms. How she deals with it determines whether she's seeking attention over it.

This. Probably menopausal symptoms, but she doesn’t need to include everyone else in her suffering. My mother would excuse herself and stand on the porch or in the garage to cool off. The way she responds is attention-seeking, for sure.

[Anonymous]

OP- You should end this thread now and go do 5 acts of kindness for 5 women in their 50s to offset your questioning of this woman who is clearly suffering. If not, you will suffer a perimenopause unlike no other. You will not sleep a full night for a decade. Your skin will become so dry it feels like pins and needles everywhere. You will alternate between having no period one month with having a gusher the alternating months. You will gain 5lbs a months for a year. You will cry every other day for no reason.

Again, you can stave off this horrible, karmic fate by appeasing the menopausal goddesses with your acts of kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Overcrowded rooms get hot.

She can't make herself turn bright red at will.

+1 plus, op, how do you know this only happens when she’s in large groups? Do you live with her?

My older sister is the same. Always opening doors/windows in the dead of winter in New England. I just close them when I get cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- You should end this thread now and go do 5 acts of kindness for 5 women in their 50s to offset your questioning of this woman who is clearly suffering. If not, you will suffer a perimenopause unlike no other. You will not sleep a full night for a decade. Your skin will become so dry it feels like pins and needles everywhere. You will alternate between having no period one month with having a gusher the alternating months. You will gain 5lbs a months for a year. You will cry every other day for no reason.

Again, you can stave off this horrible, karmic fate by appeasing the menopausal goddesses with your acts of kindness.

Relax. It’s an anonymous message board. And please, get some help.

[Anonymous]

She might be attention seeking but you are a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- You should end this thread now and go do 5 acts of kindness for 5 women in their 50s to offset your questioning of this woman who is clearly suffering. If not, you will suffer a perimenopause unlike no other. You will not sleep a full night for a decade. Your skin will become so dry it feels like pins and needles everywhere. You will alternate between having no period one month with having a gusher the alternating months. You will gain 5lbs a months for a year. You will cry every other day for no reason.

Again, you can stave off this horrible, karmic fate by appeasing the menopausal goddesses with your acts of kindness.

Oh get the hell over yourself. My aunt experienced very difficult menopause symptoms, and she would definitely ask for easy considerations such as a window to be open, and she might give one blanket, “I’m sorry; my hot flashes are really difficult today” to explain where she was at an event as necessary context that she might step out to get air, might go to the kitchen to get a cool towel, or what have you. What she WOULDN’T do is give a full-blown, play-by-play, litany of symptoms.

At a gathering or if someone meets up with you, is it fine to give them the context that you’re not in perfect health or comfort that day? Of course. You can’t hide a red face or profuse sweat, after all. But you certainly don’t have to make yourself the freaking centerpiece of the room, yammering on and on about a topic that frankly most of us would rather not explore in great detail over the Thanksgiving table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- You should end this thread now and go do 5 acts of kindness for 5 women in their 50s to offset your questioning of this woman who is clearly suffering. If not, you will suffer a perimenopause unlike no other. You will not sleep a full night for a decade. Your skin will become so dry it feels like pins and needles everywhere. You will alternate between having no period one month with having a gusher the alternating months. You will gain 5lbs a months for a year. You will cry every other day for no reason.

Again, you can stave off this horrible, karmic fate by appeasing the menopausal goddesses with your acts of kindness.

Relax. It’s an anonymous message board. And please, get some help.

Maybe you should get some help for not being able to recognize humor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- You should end this thread now and go do 5 acts of kindness for 5 women in their 50s to offset your questioning of this woman who is clearly suffering. If not, you will suffer a perimenopause unlike no other. You will not sleep a full night for a decade. Your skin will become so dry it feels like pins and needles everywhere. You will alternate between having no period one month with having a gusher the alternating months. You will gain 5lbs a months for a year. You will cry every other day for no reason.

Again, you can stave off this horrible, karmic fate by appeasing the menopausal goddesses with your acts of kindness.

Relax. It’s an anonymous message board. And please, get some help.

Maybe you should get some help for not being able to recognize humor.

+1. I thought the humor was obvious....

[Anonymous]

I’ll just take a moment to point out that it can also start in your late 30s, since apparently people don’t know the age range. It can start early and end late, and it can last a decade or longer. I’m 43 and I’m on year 6 of perimenopause. I remember having a hot flash so bad the day of my sister’s wedding (I was 38 and MOH) that I sweated off most of my makeup and had to have it redone. The makeup artist thought I had been crying and was giving me tips about how to handle that, and almost didn’t believe me when I said it was a hot flash, in spite of the sweaty proof in front of her. It sucks, and the karma PP has a pretty accurate list of symptoms.

The weirdest part of the OP is that she describes the sister as turning red. It’s like the makeup artist. How can you see the physical symptoms and still think someone is faking it? How much must you dislike a person or how narrow minded must someone be to see someone sweat and change colors and wonder if they’re actually uncomfortable and having physical symptoms or if they’re faking it for attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll just take a moment to point out that it can also start in your late 30s, since apparently people don’t know the age range. It can start early and end late, and it can last a decade or longer. I’m 43 and I’m on year 6 of perimenopause. I remember having a hot flash so bad the day of my sister’s wedding (I was 38 and MOH) that I sweated off most of my makeup and had to have it redone. The makeup artist thought I had been crying and was giving me tips about how to handle that, and almost didn’t believe me when I said it was a hot flash, in spite of the sweaty proof in front of her. It sucks, and the karma PP has a pretty accurate list of symptoms.

The weirdest part of the OP is that she describes the sister as turning red. It’s like the makeup artist. How can you see the physical symptoms and still think someone is faking it? How much must you dislike a person or how narrow minded must someone be to see someone sweat and change colors and wonder if they’re actually uncomfortable and having physical symptoms or if they’re faking it for attention?

There’s a difference between thinking someone is “faking it” and thinking that they are pretty obnoxious for them making their real symptoms the star of every show. Like, OK. You are experiencing hot flashes or what have you—that definitely sucks. We believe that it’s real. We’ll open a window if you’d like, we understand if you need to leave early, help yourself to water or a cold washcloth or anything that will make you more comfortable. But no, we’re not particularly interested in hearing about each and every one of your menopause symptoms for the next 30 minutes. We have more interesting things to talk about, and you yammering on and making much of yourself isn’t going to miraculously cure your symptoms.

If you’re that bad off, by all means, stay home. No one wants to talk about your every symptom and how miserable you are in great detail. If my uncle who has Parkinson’s can show up to events and not making everything about him and his hardships and his health journey, I assure you you can survive an hour or two without telling us exactly how many nights you aren’t sleeping and how many pads you’re bleeding through in an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll just take a moment to point out that it can also start in your late 30s, since apparently people don’t know the age range. It can start early and end late, and it can last a decade or longer. I’m 43 and I’m on year 6 of perimenopause. I remember having a hot flash so bad the day of my sister’s wedding (I was 38 and MOH) that I sweated off most of my makeup and had to have it redone. The makeup artist thought I had been crying and was giving me tips about how to handle that, and almost didn’t believe me when I said it was a hot flash, in spite of the sweaty proof in front of her. It sucks, and the karma PP has a pretty accurate list of symptoms.

The weirdest part of the OP is that she describes the sister as turning red. It’s like the makeup artist. How can you see the physical symptoms and still think someone is faking it? How much must you dislike a person or how narrow minded must someone be to see someone sweat and change colors and wonder if they’re actually uncomfortable and having physical symptoms or if they’re faking it for attention?

There’s a difference between thinking someone is “faking it” and thinking that they are pretty obnoxious for them making their real symptoms the star of every show. Like, OK. You are experiencing hot flashes or what have you—that definitely sucks. We believe that it’s real. We’ll open a window if you’d like, we understand if you need to leave early, help yourself to water or a cold washcloth or anything that will make you more comfortable. But no, we’re not particularly interested in hearing about each and every one of your menopause symptoms for the next 30 minutes. We have more interesting things to talk about, and you yammering on and making much of yourself isn’t going to miraculously cure your symptoms.

If you’re that bad off, by all means, stay home. No one wants to talk about your every symptom and how miserable you are in great detail. If my uncle who has Parkinson’s can show up to events and not making everything about him and his hardships and his health journey, I assure you you can survive an hour or two without telling us exactly how many nights you aren’t sleeping and how many pads you’re bleeding through in an hour.

OP asked if they could be real symptoms at that age because her mom was finished with symptoms by then. OP is doubting the validity and intensity of her symptoms in spite of seeing her turn red.

Sister’s response can be too dramatic without having to question if her symptoms are real. Seems both sisters are kind of annoying.