First empty nester Christmas

[Anonymous]

This so weird. It’s Dec. 11 and nothing is up. Well, I just put up the tree and strung lights on it but I can’t get motivated to trim it or decorate besides.

Also, I will be alone on Christmas and for a couple of days around before and after.

I am not sad, just discombobulated. Trying to find the spirit, though, and it’s not coming to me.

[Anonymous]

I get where you're coming from. We were briefly empty nesters before COVID, but up until very recently, we've had at least one kid home since March 2020. This empty nester beta phase has been more unsettling than the first time around when felt fancy free and almost giddy. We've been trying to ease into the Christmas swing of things -- e.g., instead of my usual Mariah Carey marathon, we listened to the Morehouse-Spellman Christmas Concert; instead of Home Alone, we watched the Ted Lasso Christmas special; we put up a wreath and a few lights, but we're waiting till the kids get home to get a tree; and, we'll also wait till our most design-savvy child is back to do a holiday card -- in the meantime, I've written notes to a few friends who have had a tough year. Maybe this approach works for you. In any case, I wish you peace at Christmas and hope in the new year, OP.

[Anonymous]

Where is everybody in your family going?

[Anonymous]

When I’ve been alone for holidays, I’ve gone out of my way to make plans — so that I have things to look forward to. I give myself bonus permission to do things that others might dislike. So making gingerbread, going to ZooLights, enjoying lengthy phone calls with friends… stuff like that. I’ve also learned that it’s often easy to get great single tickets for things like concerts and other programs when the options for multiple tickets are bad or even nonexistent. It’s a good way to enjoy a few things that my usual partners would likely not enjoy.

Wishing you a lovely —if different — holiday season, OP. Let us know if you decide to create a few new traditions for yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This so weird. It’s Dec. 11 and nothing is up. Well, I just put up the tree and strung lights on it but I can’t get motivated to trim it or decorate besides.

Also, I will be alone on Christmas and for a couple of days around before and after.

I am not sad, just discombobulated. Trying to find the spirit, though, and it’s not coming to me.

Take a trip. Do a home improvement project. Invite a friend or relative who can use some cheering up. Invite few neighbors for a happy hour. Watch hallmark movies. Volunteer. Start a new hobby and sign up for some random class. Dress up as Santa and distribute candy canes in neighborhood. Go on dating apps. You are blessed with a time in your life when you can just be yourself and don't have to care for anyone. Enjoy it, life is short. Don't waste it in self pity.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to have something to do, definite plans for (ish) : 5pm on Christmas Eve thru 3pm Christmas Day. That's it. Christmas will be over. Have a plan. Keep busy.

Re decorating the tree or anything else: just tell yourself that you're choosing a new minimalist look this year. Frame it in a good way!

[Anonymous]

This^. If you are religious, focus on birthday boy. Do something Jesus would approve of. If you are spiritual, take it as a meditation retreat. If neither, set a small budget and find some great deals to buy something you'll enjoy. Keep us updated.

[Anonymous]

Get some face procedure done and you can wait in peace for redness and swelling to go away. Stay home and pamper yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This so weird. It’s Dec. 11 and nothing is up. Well, I just put up the tree and strung lights on it but I can’t get motivated to trim it or decorate besides.

Also, I will be alone on Christmas and for a couple of days around before and after.

I am not sad, just discombobulated. Trying to find the spirit, though, and it’s not coming to me.

Take a trip. Do a home improvement project. Invite a friend or relative who can use some cheering up. Invite few neighbors for a happy hour. Watch hallmark movies. Volunteer. Start a new hobby and sign up for some random class. Dress up as Santa and distribute candy canes in neighborhood. Go on dating apps. You are blessed with a time in your life when you can just be yourself and don't have to care for anyone. Enjoy it, life is short. Don't waste it in self pity.

There is nothing in OP's post that indicates self pity. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is everybody in your family going?

Significant others' familes/houses this year.

I am a widower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This so weird. It’s Dec. 11 and nothing is up. Well, I just put up the tree and strung lights on it but I can’t get motivated to trim it or decorate besides.

Also, I will be alone on Christmas and for a couple of days around before and after.

I am not sad, just discombobulated. Trying to find the spirit, though, and it’s not coming to me.

Take a trip. Do a home improvement project. Invite a friend or relative who can use some cheering up. Invite few neighbors for a happy hour. Watch hallmark movies. Volunteer. Start a new hobby and sign up for some random class. Dress up as Santa and distribute candy canes in neighborhood. Go on dating apps. You are blessed with a time in your life when you can just be yourself and don't have to care for anyone. Enjoy it, life is short. Don't waste it in self pity.

There is nothing in OP's post that indicates self pity. Nothing.

Yeah, this isn't self-pity. Unfortunately, I can't really take a trip solo (which I'll do under normal circumstances) because they all WILL come see me on the 28th. It's just those couple of days.

Maybe I'll check out the movies and look into Chinese food.

Die Hard is a Christmas movie, yes? LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is everybody in your family going?

Significant others' familes/houses this year.

I am a widower.

Yea that’s tough. How many kids do you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is everybody in your family going?

Significant others' familes/houses this year.

I am a widower.

I am sorry OP, that is hard. Big hugs.

[Anonymous]

OP, are your kids and their kids generally around other than the holidays? In other words, do they live near you and do you see them regularly? If that’s the case, and I hope it is, then you’re better off than a lot of people. I hope you know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are your kids and their kids generally around other than the holidays? In other words, do they live near you and do you see them regularly? If that’s the case, and I hope it is, then you’re better off than a lot of people. I hope you know that.

Oh, yeah, I know that. I see them pretty regularly. I didn't mean to give the impression I was depressed or anything. It's just a new experience to be alone on Christmas proper and I'm contemplating what to do differently. I'll figure it out.