Should I try to fix this nap situation? If so how?

[Anonymous]

Third kid, so we have a lot going on. I was militant about nap schedules with the first two.
Baby is 12 weeks, 8 adjusted. Will NOT nap in crib or bassinet. Won't nap in car. Will immediately fall asleep if worn in the carrier. Wakes up if I take her out or sit down with the carrier on.

The problem is I'm constantly waking her up and I feel like she's getting over tired by nighttime.

Should I try to get her on a nap schedule in the carrier and just do everything I can to keep her asleep on me? Try to make crib naps work? Make peace with her waking up for now?

[Anonymous]

Will she nap in a swing or stroller? I personally wouldn’t want to wear my kid because it hurts my back and my kid was heavy. I guess it depends if wearing all the time works for you or not?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so at that age it's usually 3 naps a day, right? Morning midday, and pre-dinner?

I'd pick the one that was most consistently a good long nap and keep trying with the crib naps for this one. For me, this was the first nap of the day. I'd try to make this one as much like nighttime sleep as possible, including location, lighting (black out curtains), what the baby is wearing, even the rhythm of feeding and diaper change before putting her down. And just plug away at it. I know the temptation to just give up. But I think especially with two other kids, if you can get your baby taking one good crib nap a day, it will free you up so much and also make sitters/nanny a lot easier later on.

Then for the other naps I'd likely give in on the carrier, or maybe experiment with naps in the stroller during errands or in a swing or something. Especially that last nap of the day, which is the first one to drop, I'd give her whatever she needed to fall asleep. If that's being in the carrier the whole time, so be it. It's temporary anyway since that nap disappears within the first year.

This way she will definitely take naps and she'll get what she is clearly needing right now (which is closeness with you) but she should also develop the skill of sleeping on her own. Which presumably she already has at night, since it doesn't sound like your up all night walking around your house with her in the carrier. So it's just a question of expanding that skill to the day.

I know it's so hard to try and force your baby to sleep on their own when they do it so much easier in your arms. But I think for at least one nap a day, it's best for both of you to try it because otherwise you will just be so permanently tied to her and that can become really exhausting, especially with other kids. It's good to get at least a little break, and it's healthy for her to learn that she can take a nap on her own and you'll still be there when she wakes up.

[Anonymous]

Do you feed to sleep or do EAS? Swaddle?