Donor breast milk sources?

[Anonymous]

If all continues to go well, my husband and I will welcome our baby via surrogate in May. I have had a double mastectomy so inducing lactation isn’t an option. I really want to provide baby with breast milk. Any recommendations for DC area or places that will ship? Everything I’m finding is either a) for filling gaps in supply if already breastfeeding or b) for critically ill or severely premature babies. Any ideas on other options are welcome! (Surrogate is considering whether she will pump but she has a busy family life and a full time job, so I really understand not wanting to, despite the compensation.)

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at the Human Milk 4 Human Babies page on facebook? There are some regional groups.

[Anonymous]

There was a Netflix documentary where they tested donor breast milk from places other than approved donor banks. It was disgusting. Some of it was watered down, some contaminated with feces, mixed with cow’s milk, etc. You have no idea how the milk is handled, what diseases people may have, or what their partners may have transmitted to them. Please just feed your baby formula.

If you’re still willing to take the risk, the Human Milk for Human Babies group on Facebook is an option, as PP mentioned.

But seriously, please reconsider this. And please please please, do not BUY the breast milk. The chances of it being watered down or diluted with other types of milk are even higher when there is a financial incentive involved.

[Anonymous]

OP - first congratulations. I hope all works out as planned, I'm sure it will.

Second, I was in the exact same situation as you (except I was able to carry, but also had a previous double mast and would not be able nurse). I also freaked out and really wanted breastmilk for my child and did have a friend who was trying to work through some allergies for her baby so instead of pumping and dumping she gave the milk to me, so my kid had some breast milk, not a lot. But in retrospect, my kid was always hungry like an hour after the breast milk but was very satisfied by the formula (we just used organic Similac). I don't know what benefit if any she got from the breastmilk and it was a PITA to get even though our friend was close by. I wish we'd not jumped through that hoop. I would just make sure you have formula on hand (and I know, formula shortage is a whole other wrench in the works!) but we used ready made similac for the first 3 months and it was really easy.

My kid is now 6 and a healthy flourishing child. If you choose to go straight to formula, I don't think that when your kid is 6 you're going to look back and wish you'd paid lots of $$ or driven all over the place to get breast milk. Just feed your kid the formula that their system can process and enjoy your baby!

[Anonymous]

I would really encourage you to use formula. It's a great option, there is very little difference in outcomes for the baby.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you, but…use formula. And asking the surrogate to pump is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked at the Human Milk 4 Human Babies page on facebook? There are some regional groups.

Be careful, they aren't tested for the diseases that pass through breastmilk. If you can't get it through a donation group, just use formula.

[Anonymous]

Let’s just assume OP is aware of formula and is going to research the risk vs. benefit of donor milk - and save ourselves 8 pages of thread here.

OP if you are in any support groups related to your mastectomy, you may have better luck asking there for how others have handled this and what it was like.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I had a baby via surrogate just before the pandemic. She very generously offered to pump but my baby couldn’t tolerate the breast milk very well. She tried switching up her diet but we agreed it would be easier to do formula.
So even if you do find a source for breast milk have the idea of formula as a backup.

[Anonymous]

If you are worried about the formula shortage, it’s much better now. And there are European brands now sold in stores so lots of options. I’d be very careful with donor milk that didn’t come from a hospital. So many of us were given formula as babies and are healthy, smart, successful as adults. It really is ok.

[Anonymous]

Please use formula and just save yourself and your child the craziness of seeking out and using donor milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are worried about the formula shortage, it’s much better now. And there are European brands now sold in stores so lots of options. I’d be very careful with donor milk that didn’t come from a hospital. So many of us were given formula as babies and are healthy, smart, successful as adults. It really is ok.

There is no formula shortage. It is readily available at Target, Walmart etc.

[Anonymous]

Normally I would not join the formula band wagon, but maybe this factoid will help assuage your conscience: premie babies in the NICU absolutely need breast milk to prevent necrotizing enterocolitis. Every once of milk that goes to a healthy full term baby is one less once for premies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normally I would not join the formula band wagon, but maybe this factoid will help assuage your conscience: premie babies in the NICU absolutely need breast milk to prevent necrotizing enterocolitis. Every once of milk that goes to a healthy full term baby is one less once for premies.

that would only be true if there weren't enough breast milk for preemies. Milk banks prioritize for preemies but they do have some left over for other babies.

https://mothersmilk.org/get-milk/

I got donor milk from a milk bank. The first 40oz I was able to get right away without a prescription and then my doctor wrote me a prescription.

[Anonymous]

Why not choose a high quality formula? Kendamil Organic is very high quality and now sold in the U.S. ByHeart is also really great and you can sign up for a waiting list.