What's the division of labor in your household between you and your spouse?
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Anonymous
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Now that the kids are gone, it's just you both. And...how did you come to this system, if there is one (I will bet $$ that some of you do it all, right?) Bills Housework Appointments Buying gifts Holidays Food shopping and prep Social life Trips Laundry Yard work if appropriate Car repair Maintaining relationships within family, friends |
Anonymous
| He’s supposed to do the laundry, kid doctor appointments, house maintenance, car maintenance. I do everything else. He does those things about 30% of the way. My bumper is currently being held on by duct tape, for example. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Bills - me because I stress about money so I would always be asking questions and would drive my spouse crazy Housework - housekeeper that my spouse arranges for and pays (out of joint account). For in between messes, whoever sees something that needs to be done does it. Appointments - we each take care of our own health and personal appointments. I take care of vet appointments. That started because I took care of the kids doctors and I just naturally did it. Also I get more leave. I took care of kids’ appointments because I wanted control over decision making and always had more questions so it made sense for me to do it. Buying gifts - we both take care of this Holidays - we both take care of this Food shopping and prep - we both take care of this Social life - we both take care of this Trips - mostly me because I always have somewhere I want to go Laundry - we both do it Yard work if appropriate - spouse because I never live up to their standards Car repair - oldest kid who’s a mechanic Maintaining relationships within family, friends - for family mostly spouse because my parents are dead and we have very regimented gatherings in my family so no planning necessary. For friends we both take care of this |
Anonymous
| I pretty much do it all. Don't want to. |
Anonymous
You and me, sister. It sucks |
Anonymous
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Me: cooking, scheduling/taking kids to appts, buying kids clothes/items and donating what we don’t need anymore, any/all planning like vacations, what we are doing over the weekend, large purchases, etc
Husband: laundry, dishes, take out trash, keep car filled with gas, pack kids lunches, school pickup and drop off. We split grocery shopping and bill paying. Basically I keep our lives and schedules organized and he keeps the house from being a disaster. This is a good split for us - we stick to our strong areas. I would rather do anything than dishes |
Anonymous
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Bills - me
Housework - him Appointments - him Buying gifts - me. I give money to make things easier for me. Holidays - it's just us so no plans. Food shopping and prep - him Social life - none. Don't really want one to be honest. Trips - don't do trips. We don't want to leave our cats alone. Laundry - him but I fold and save. Yard work if appropriate - him Car repair - him Maintaining relationships within family, friends - him |
Anonymous
| How much has changed over the years, or maybe they haven't? |
Anonymous
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Bills - we split up the utilities and have them on autopay. Medical bills mostly he handles.
Housework - both. I tidy, he does everything in the kitchen and runs the Roomba from time to time. Appointments - both. We add to Google Calendar as it comes up. Buying gifts - me Holidays - me Food shopping and prep - him Social life - me Trips - me Laundry - both Yard work if appropriate - him Car repair - him Maintaining relationships within family, friends - both. I just have more people in my life as I am more extroverted. |
Anonymous
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Now that we are retired:
Bills - I do them Housework - we have a bi- level home. One floor is done by me, one floor is done by him Appointments - each handle our own. He handles the dog Buying gifts - whomever cares the most that a gift is given. To our adult children it flip-flops re: which of us, from year to year, any good ideas Holidays - we put up whatever matters to us individually Food shopping and prep - we eat and shop like roommates Social life - I need more. I arrange for me Trips - I plan all. I like planning. He doesn't care much for traveling. Sometimes he'll go, sometimes he doesn't Laundry - each our own Yard work if appropriate - hire out Car repair - mostly me Maintaining relationships within family, friends - He has a stronger online network. I refer IRL. |
Anonymous
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Bills -- me. Also investment decisions and maintaining paperwork. He does the taxes using software.
Housework -- he usually does once-over cleaning, I do deep cleaning Appointments -- mostly me, but I turned the dentist over to him Buying gifts -- mostly me, or him but I do most of the choosing Holidays -- all me Food shopping and prep -- he does one trip to one store every week; I do everything else Social life -- me Trips -- mostly me Laundry -- mostly him Yard work if appropriate -- he hires and pays the lawn guys; I do what little gardening gets done Car repair -- we each handle our own cars. I handle the parking permits Maintaining relationships within family, friends -- we handle our own, mostly. Sometimes I order food gifts for his brothers' families. |
Anonymous
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DH is retired, I am not. He is six years older than I am. I work about fifty hours a week.
Bills - he handles Housework - outsourced, but I handle day-to-day Appointments - he handles for himself and he forgets them sometimes because he refuses to maintain a calendar 
Buying gifts - I handle Holidays - I handle Food shopping and prep - we make grocery lists and meal plans together, he handles cooking, I do cleanup Social life - I handle Trips - I handle Laundry - he handles his own Yard work if appropriate - outsourced Car repair - outsourced Maintaining relationships within family, friends - I handle |
Anonymous
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My husband and I are a little different in that we are younger (early 40s) but do not have kids
Bills--me Housework--both Appointments--both (we make our own personal appointments, house related appointments we split) Buying gifts--both (typically buy for our own families or origin) Holidays--not sure what this means exactly. He cooks so he will do most if we host. Holiday plans we each figure out with our own respective families of origin (always his for thanksgiving and mine for Christmas). Food shopping and prep--him Social life--mostly me Trips--both. He usually books flights/hotels, I figure out what to do when we are there Laundry--both (each do our own) Yard work if appropriate--n/a live in condo Car repair--mostly him Maintaining relationships within family, friends--both. Typically reach out to our own families of origin. I do more maintaining relationships with friends than him. |
Anonymous
I pretty much don't do anything nowadays, because I also don't want to. My DH does it all. I used to be a SAHM, now I am a SAHW. He works full time. Kids are doing well. That was the only thing he wanted from me was to raise happy, successful, moral kids and create a happy and peaceful family life. Done & done. |