Have I messed up by not researching everything?

[Anonymous]

I'm currently undergoing IVF. 8 cycles, no success. This process is so mentally difficult that I chose to trust my doctor and stay away from research deep-dives and micro-managing my care, although a part of me really wants to do those things.

Now, I regret this decision and sometimes panic a little. Did I mess up? Should I have been researching everything, finding out about all the protocols, digging deep into the numbers, trying supplements and acupuncture and the whole thing? A tiny voice in my head says I should do this but I also feel so sad and tired already that I don't know if I'd be in a good place mentally. It's already so hard, as you all know.

How did you find the balance? And if you do track this info, what is your process? Is there a mentally healthy way? Where would one even start?

The only thing I currently track are the follicle numbers --> eggs --> blastocysts. I've done three protocols which I also understand at a high level. But I don't keep track of the AMH numbers, or the progesterone, estrogen numbers, etc. Should I be doing this? Should I be researching other clinics, doctors, protocols?

[Anonymous]

When you say 8 cycles, do you mean 8 egg retrievals with all the FETs? Or egg retrievals plus FETs? How old are you and what is your cause of infertility?

Have you got a second or third opinion?

Unfortunately you do need to backseat drive doctors, in my experience. And you are right, it is not good for our mental health. If you really want to do this, your first step is to order a copy of all of your records.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP that you should get a second opinion. Did you record your medications for each cycle and how many eggs were retrieved and how many were fertilized?

[Anonymous]

The further we go in this journey, the more we learn and can then "optimize" but hindsight is certainly 20/20. There is plenty I learned as I cycled that I wish I knew when I started (e.g. not all clinics are good for DOR, pay for meds OOP to not burn through lifetime max, etc). That said, if you've done 8 rounds (not sure if those are retrievals/transfers, but even if both that's a handful) and it's not working then I'd look to change things up too. Some do this just because, some do it because they want to see different results..and some stay because it's a numbers game and hopefully it works out eventually.

but, if you're running into same issue over and over (e.g. seeing drop-off with embryo development at day 3 or 5, not fertilizing, etc) and your doctors haven't addressed, then you should definitely look elsewhere. Your numbers (AMH, FSH etc) are good to know but ultimately it's your retrieval results that are most telling, and most informative for next steps. I never tracked things meticulously and purposely stayed laid back, but by the time by 3rd retrieval failed I took the reins and made changes to increase my chances of success (changed clinics, advocated for certain protocols over others, etc).