Help……I don’t know how to flirt

[Anonymous]

I’m always complaining about how apps suck, but I’ve realized that I’m terrible out in “the wild”. I fairly attractive and men come up and talk to me while out and about, but I never know how to express interest. Latest example
Is a cute guy at the gym who showed me how to use a piece of equipment properly. He was looking at me the whole time I was there, so perhaps there was interest. After she showed me how to use the equipment I just said thanks and put my earbuds back in. Any advice for how to show interest?

[Anonymous]

Don’t put the earbuds back in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Is a cute guy at the gym who showed me how to use a piece of equipment properly. He was looking at me the whole time I was there, so perhaps there was interest. After she showed me how to use the equipment I just said thanks and put my earbuds back in. Any advice for how to show interest?

Did you ask him to show you how to use the equipment, or did he come up and mansplain uninvited?

Show interest by continuing to talk to him. Next time you see him at the gym, go up and say hi. Tell him your name, tell him some things about yourself that he can use to keep the conversation going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t put the earbuds back in

Exactly. You don't really have to flirt. Just engage in conversation or not depending on how you want things to go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t put the earbuds back in

So on point with this response! 👍🏽

[Anonymous]

Pay attention to them. Show interest in what they are saying. Remember little details about them and use these details in your responses during conversation. If you can master the art of conversation, you never have to flirt.

I am this way with everybody, but men usually think I am interested in something more than a good conversation.

[Anonymous]

I can’t converse with people well and I can’t flirt and I’ve never worried about finding someone. I just focus on making sure I can take care of myself if I need to and try to be a better person today than I was yesterday. Some days I fail miserably, some days I do well. Regardless you can’t go through life just waiting for someone else to fix you or like you. Your own happiness is your sole responsibility.

So instead of flirting just always be yourself. That’s what people want- man or woman, friend or lover or future spouse or anything in between. If they like who you are they’ll keep talking and ask you questions. If you like their vibe answer and ask them a question, if you don’t then keep it moving. Either way don’t take it take it personally. You’ll vibe with some people and not others. That’s called life.

There’s only one of you in this world, you don’t have to “try” at being different or unique. You already are.

That’s how you find your “person”.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't flirt in the gym. I'd flirt in a bar after a few drinks and with dimmed lights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t converse with people well and I can’t flirt and I’ve never worried about finding someone. I just focus on making sure I can take care of myself if I need to and try to be a better person today than I was yesterday. Some days I fail miserably, some days I do well. Regardless you can’t go through life just waiting for someone else to fix you or like you. Your own happiness is your sole responsibility.

So instead of flirting just always be yourself. That’s what people want- man or woman, friend or lover or future spouse or anything in between. If they like who you are they’ll keep talking and ask you questions. If you like their vibe answer and ask them a question, if you don’t then keep it moving. Either way don’t take it take it personally. You’ll vibe with some people and not others. That’s called life.

There’s only one of you in this world, you don’t have to “try” at being different or unique. You already are.

That’s how you find your “person”.

I'd like te respectfully qualify this PP's comments ( they can be misconstrued ). It's not wrong to be yourself, but we are social beings. Everyone wants to feel cared for by others. Does OP like when men show some interest in her? If she does, she has to show interest too. Men are human just like women are. We all love a certain amount of attention and interest from othrrs( especially those we are romantically/sexually interested in)

You cannot always wait for people to ask you questions first, you have to ask questions too. You have to show interest. If that means getting out of being yourself, then do it.

Many skills can be learned. We learn how to show interest in job interviews all the time. We learn how to show interest in clients and useless meetings at work. We can learn how to show interest in people we want. Being interested is not enough because people cannot read minds. You have to actually show interest In people you like Learn how to.

[Anonymous]

You literally just have to remember to smile and hold your gaze for a moment. Then say your name
Done. Chances will increase by 50%

I don’t do apps and this works. It’s not a lot of effort. You can practice. You can say no thanks too. That takes practice but it’s also easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You literally just have to remember to smile and hold your gaze for a moment. Then say your name
Done. Chances will increase by 50%

I don’t do apps and this works. It’s not a lot of effort. You can practice. You can say no thanks too. That takes practice but it’s also easy.

Thanks. I’m curious how old are you? How often do you go on dates without using apps? Where do you meet people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't flirt in the gym. I'd flirt in a bar after a few drinks and with dimmed lights.

Dimmed lights…? Once the lights get turned up, he’ll see how fugly you are and run for the hills.

[Anonymous]

This person is old. No one says that word anymore.

[Anonymous]

I think “run for the hills” expired along with “fugly.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You literally just have to remember to smile and hold your gaze for a moment. Then say your name
Done. Chances will increase by 50%

I don’t do apps and this works. It’s not a lot of effort. You can practice. You can say no thanks too. That takes practice but it’s also easy.

Thanks. I’m curious how old are you? How often do you go on dates without using apps? Where do you meet people?

over 4o. I can be a natural flirt. I had a bad break up after 15 years. Loving life now!
Everywhere ! Sports, sports clubs. I had to get over my heart break before doing this —but dating helped that process. I say it’s worth it’s weight in therapy. There are nice guys everywhere. One has not endured yet but I am having fun. I’m patient.