Not sustainable cleanliness issue with cat

[Anonymous]

I feel like a horrible person for saying this, but I think our semi healthy cat should be put down because of a cleanliness issue.

The vet says she can live a few more years if we bring her in for a steroid injection every 3 weeks or so (not expensive so money is not the issue ), but she does not clean herself any longer and that combined with other skin and fur issues that go along with this disease she has make living with her pretty nasty.

She leaves mats of hair everywhere she sits , leaves dandruff type stuff everywhere, sneezes a lot and sprays gunk everywhere to the point that I have to scrub the walls in certain areas a few times a week, and I just don’t think I can take it anymore . I have given up my new arm chair that I loved and waited years to be able to buy (where I was going to sit and relax and enjoy a book now and again) because it is ruined and I can’t keep her off of it.

She leaves the litter box and spreads stuff on the floors and chair and I am at the point where I don’t want to do it anymore just because the vet can keep her alive with these shots . She has mouth ulcers that sometimes bleed and that goes everywhere too and I’m sure she’s in some amount of pain because she has lost weight but again, the vet convinced my 21 year old son that with all of these interventions she can live another few years

Am I wrong to just want to put her out of her misery and be able to be in my house again without being grossed out constantly ? Is that cruel of me ?

[Anonymous]

You don’t get rid of a cat because it’s now inconvenient for you. If you do put the cat down please don’t get another one.

[Anonymous]

Cat lover here. At this stage, I would not judge you for saying the end is here. Sounds like you’ve given her a long and happy life.

Mouth ulcers, weight loss, inability to groom, vet trips every three weeks for steroid injections? That is not a healthy cat.

Honestly, the only part that gives me pause is your son. Does he live with you? Is he away at school? I would certainly discuss this with him, adult to adult. See if he has any solutions. If he lives with you, he might be willing to take on all the extra work (through, frequent cleanups and vet visits). If he lives in his own place, perhaps he can take the cat?

Him saying he’ll take on the extra work, even if you know that won’t work out, is actually a fine path. He’ll see first hand how hard it is, and then you can reevaluate in maybe two months? Him given the chance to troubleshoot might making him feel he has some agency, and let him see just how difficult this is.

If he’s away at college in a firm or something and cannot take the cat - that would make this a really hard decision.

[Anonymous]

PP here - sorry, dorm, not firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get rid of a cat because it’s now inconvenient for you. If you do put the cat down please don’t get another one.

It’s not just inconvenient it is not sustainable . I work full time from home and can’t spent an additional hour a day cleaning and giving up furniture because it can’t be used by humans anymore . We have another cat and do all the regular stuff and this cat is 10 years old and we have taken good care of her including multiple vet visits, special food, medicines, injections , grooming costs (that don’t help long term because her hair just mats again ).

I found cat poop yesterday underneath the chair she loves and suspect she isn’t always using the litter box . It’s not healthy for us to live like this either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cat lover here. At this stage, I would not judge you for saying the end is here. Sounds like you’ve given her a long and happy life.

Mouth ulcers, weight loss, inability to groom, vet trips every three weeks for steroid injections? That is not a healthy cat.

Honestly, the only part that gives me pause is your son. Does he live with you? Is he away at school? I would certainly discuss this with him, adult to adult. See if he has any solutions. If he lives with you, he might be willing to take on all the extra work (through, frequent cleanups and vet visits). If he lives in his own place, perhaps he can take the cat?

Him saying he’ll take on the extra work, even if you know that won’t work out, is actually a fine path. He’ll see first hand how hard it is, and then you can reevaluate in maybe two months? Him given the chance to troubleshoot might making him feel he has some agency, and let him see just how difficult this is.

If he’s away at college in a firm or something and cannot take the cat - that would make this a really hard decision.

He lives with us still. He kind of agrees but feels like he doesn’t want to do it but also works a lot and can’t do all the extra work either and I get stuck doing it all . We have a small home and it has made areas of the living room and one bedroom she likes unusable because if I clean them they are filthy again in a few days . And yes it’s taking me hours a week to keep up with it all .

[Anonymous]

I don’t think she has a good quality of life and if she needs steroids to live she’s not healthy. You’d feel horrible if someone got toxoplasmosis or some disease from your cat. You are not a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cat lover here. At this stage, I would not judge you for saying the end is here. Sounds like you’ve given her a long and happy life.

Mouth ulcers, weight loss, inability to groom, vet trips every three weeks for steroid injections? That is not a healthy cat.

Honestly, the only part that gives me pause is your son. Does he live with you? Is he away at school? I would certainly discuss this with him, adult to adult. See if he has any solutions. If he lives with you, he might be willing to take on all the extra work (through, frequent cleanups and vet visits). If he lives in his own place, perhaps he can take the cat?

Him saying he’ll take on the extra work, even if you know that won’t work out, is actually a fine path. He’ll see first hand how hard it is, and then you can reevaluate in maybe two months? Him given the chance to troubleshoot might making him feel he has some agency, and let him see just how difficult this is.

If he’s away at college in a firm or something and cannot take the cat - that would make this a really hard decision.

Another cat lover here. Agree that this is not a healthy cat. I lost my poor kitty at around 3 or 4 (she was a rescue) but her sickness was not evident until the very end. Your cat has outward signs of sickness. Like all living things, we all have a varying time here on earth. Some get more and some get fewer. You gave her lovely years and have nothing to feel bad about that she is sick and you need to put her down.

[Anonymous]

I think you know the answer, OP. If now is not the end for this poor cat, when is? It’s life is pretty miserable. I think it’s time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cat lover here. At this stage, I would not judge you for saying the end is here. Sounds like you’ve given her a long and happy life.

Mouth ulcers, weight loss, inability to groom, vet trips every three weeks for steroid injections? That is not a healthy cat.

Honestly, the only part that gives me pause is your son. Does he live with you? Is he away at school? I would certainly discuss this with him, adult to adult. See if he has any solutions. If he lives with you, he might be willing to take on all the extra work (through, frequent cleanups and vet visits). If he lives in his own place, perhaps he can take the cat?

Him saying he’ll take on the extra work, even if you know that won’t work out, is actually a fine path. He’ll see first hand how hard it is, and then you can reevaluate in maybe two months? Him given the chance to troubleshoot might making him feel he has some agency, and let him see just how difficult this is.

If he’s away at college in a firm or something and cannot take the cat - that would make this a really hard decision.

He lives with us still. He kind of agrees but feels like he doesn’t want to do it but also works a lot and can’t do all the extra work either and I get stuck doing it all . We have a small home and it has made areas of the living room and one bedroom she likes unusable because if I clean them they are filthy again in a few days . And yes it’s taking me hours a week to keep up with it all .

PP here. Then yes, time to say goodbye to the cat. It sounds to me like he knows that’s the best path, but of course is unwilling to say so. You tell him it’s time, give him some input into the exact how/when (does he want to come to the vet with you? Can you have a vet come to the house? Better this week or next?)

My sympathies to both of you.

[Anonymous]

What you describe sounds miserable for you and the cat. Time to let her go. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a horrible person for saying this, but I think our semi healthy cat should be put down because of a cleanliness issue.

You're not horrible at all. From what you have told us I would put the cat down too if it was mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get rid of a cat because it’s now inconvenient for you. If you do put the cat down please don’t get another one.

I hope she does get another cat. Cats need homes.

[Anonymous]

We have cats. I love them dearly. In your situation, I would euthanize. That cat does not have quality of life. I’m sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get rid of a cat because it’s now inconvenient for you. If you do put the cat down please don’t get another one.

I hope she does get another cat. Cats need homes.

OP here. Thank you. We have other cats and they have all been rescues. This one I'm speaking about spent 6 months in a cage in a shelter after being picked up off the streets of Newark (NJ). She is the most beautiful cat I've ever seen, and she had several good years with us, although she is still always afraid of people. I don't know why she wasn't adopted sooner, but my son (the same one I was speaking about) saw her when she was in a pet store waiting for adoption and we went back the next day to get her.