Ever know a married couple where when one died,

[Anonymous]

The surviving one showed limited grief and was probably relieved to not have to go on with them.

[Anonymous]

Yes. The husband was an abusive alcoholic jerk. She drank with him, but when he died she stopped drinking and visibly blossomed. She was always kind, but afterward she was also happy. She had married into our family but everyone was so happy for her that she was free of him.

[Anonymous]

My grandfather. My grandmother had suffered from Alzheimer’s for a decade. We were all tired. She had been a shell for years.

[Anonymous]

Yes, her life suddenly became normal and tolerable and she became happy. He was a very difficult person. During her marriage she was devoted to him, the marriage, the family, that life, but he died just after their youngest launched so she had an opportunity to have a happier life and she embraced it.

[Anonymous]

Of course.

My mother. She wanted my father gone for almost their whole marriage of over 50 years. He loved her. She hated him.

Now she lives a lonely life

[Anonymous]

My dad? He was VERY loyal. VERY. To a fault. He waited a little over a year after my mom died and then tentatively started dating. I've never seen him so happy - it's really nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course.

My mother. She wanted my father gone for almost their whole marriage of over 50 years. He loved her. She hated him.

Now she lives a lonely life

That sounds nuts. Why did she hate him?

[Anonymous]

Yes, my grandmother was a mean hateful person full of drama. Grandpa was happier when she passed.

[Anonymous]

Yes. NP here but the deceased was also an alcoholic and could be verbally and physically abusive when drunk. His widow is visibly much less stressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The surviving one showed limited grief and was probably relieved to not have to go on with them.

My mom. My dad wasn't terrible, but their marriage wasn't happy. He was also sick a long time, and I know that caretaking took a toll on her.

[Anonymous]

When I was in middle school, the father of one of my classmates was coming home very drunk, fell down somewhere along the way and froze to death.

My best friend's mom heard about it and said "OMG, some women get so lucky!". My best friend's dad was an alcoholic who regularly beat his wife and daughter. A few years later he passed out drunk with a cigarette in the small cabin they had in a remote area. His family felt mostly relief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in middle school, the father of one of my classmates was coming home very drunk, fell down somewhere along the way and froze to death.

My best friend's mom heard about it and said "OMG, some women get so lucky!". My best friend's dad was an alcoholic who regularly beat his wife and daughter. A few years later he passed out drunk with a cigarette in the small cabin they had in a remote area. His family felt mostly relief.

I understand this feeling.

[Anonymous]

Yup, my mom when my dad died. Long, unhappy marriage. I got along worse with him but know they both contributed to it. He had Alzheimer's at the end, though, so none of us could really be sad about his passing. He would have hated his life.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My aunt and uncle had a happy and deeply loving marriage. He battled cancer for 10+ years, which took a huge toll on his body and required superhuman physical caregiving from her. I think she grieved him during his illness. Since he passed last year, she is lighter and happier -- able to shop, travel, meet with friends without the guilt that came over her every time she had to leave the house for even a minor errand.