Incontinent and limited mobility elder at your house

[Anonymous]

My relative is in a nursing home currently but wants to move in with family. The nursing home smells pretty bad even though it looks otherwise clean and residents are cared for. If the elder moves in with family, will their house end up smelling badly too? They have biweekly cleaners.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how frequently the person is changed and what they do with the diapers after. Also on where the person sits and lays and if those surfaces absorb leaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how frequently the person is changed and what they do with the diapers after. Also on where the person sits and lays and if those surfaces absorb leaks.

Sounds not feasible unless they hire a caregiver. Family is unwilling to change diapers or deal with their trash and laundry.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it will smell terrible. It gets into everything unless the person is immediately changed at all times and surfaces are such that it's not absorbed.

My parents house smelled like a urinal in the end. It's awful. Cleaning won't help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it will smell terrible. It gets into everything unless the person is immediately changed at all times and surfaces are such that it's not absorbed.

My parents house smelled like a urinal in the end. It's awful. Cleaning won't help.

This. Plus, if they won't change diapers and caregiver quits or is late you have the issue of getting sores and rashes. Also, things can progress further to the point you need to carry the person.

Also, once they are in the home the "happiness" is short lived. They you come to realize, it wasn't that person was unhappy in a nursing home. The relative is simply unhappy period because it's miserable being that impaired, except now the people hosting the elderly relative are unhappy too, feeling unappreciated and stressed out and it's much harder to be cheerful and the relative you want to be when you feel depleted and resentful and your house smells.

[Anonymous]

Important to understand, "want to go home", when the elderly say this, they are really saying, "I want to be the way I use to be."

[Anonymous]

You need 24/7 caregivers. I did this for about a year and it was a nightmare. Change them nursing homes if you can.

[Anonymous]

Some of it is also their clothing. Once pee gets into polyester, the smell is very hard to get rid of. My son kept wetting the bed and I never could get the smell out of fleece PJs, but cotton was easy.

[Anonymous]

The person needs to be kept clean, changed and dry, and diapers disposed of in an outside trashcan. Most nursing homes don't keep them clean and dry, rarely have enough staff to achieve that.

We had full-time caregivers and cleaners. No smell at all. But it's expensive.

[Anonymous]

You will need to cover the furniture they use regularly in addition to staying on top of the diapers. Also your car seats.

[Anonymous]

My mom used to complain about her assisted living facility and hinted about moving in with me or moving to a different facility. I knew better than to go down either road. She'd be happy for a few months, and then she'd have the exact same complaints about her new situation. (On top of that my house is unsuited to her - too many stairs.)

As another person said, it's not really about the place, it's about being old and impaired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom used to complain about her assisted living facility and hinted about moving in with me or moving to a different facility. I knew better than to go down either road. She'd be happy for a few months, and then she'd have the exact same complaints about her new situation. (On top of that my house is unsuited to her - too many stairs.)

As another person said, it's not really about the place, it's about being old and impaired.

THIS! Focus on helping the person enjoy your visits, but don't move him/her into your home. You are asking for a nightmare situation.

[Anonymous]

Also depends on what kind of mobility. My dad has limited mobility in that he can’t walk a mile or stand for very long but he’s perfectly capable of showering (shower has a seat and hand bars) and changing his own depends. My mom is a former nurse with OCD so their house smells fine, but it’s because she is very thoughtful about all of this—where the used products go (immediately out to a sealed container in garage), everything is wiped daily with bleach wipes, clothes are all cotton and washed with hot water almost daily, mattresses all have waterproof covers under sheets, couch is leather so can be wiped down, kitchen chairs are wood, etc.

[Anonymous]

Caring for a low mobility, incontinent adult is big job physically. We did it for my dad and despite all the love we had, everyone lost their cool at times. It’s emotionally hard as well, especially if the elder is mentally sound and has to put aside their dignity to be changed and bathed. Think long and hard about if you have the resources.

[Anonymous]

It’s a 24/7 job, but if you have caregivers and the right supplies there is no odor. You need caregivers who can lift the patient, quality briefs, washable bed pads, large wipes and oxiclean.