Is this a child who has Aspergers?

[Anonymous]

DC has sensory issues and so we take him to a place for OT. Frequently another little girl, about 9 years old and several yrs older than DC, has her OT appt at the same time as we do but with another OT. This girl is rough, loud, grabby, and extremely bossy and controlling. DC will be holding my cell phone and she'll come right up to him and grab it from his hands. She does things like this often and it's getting to the point of complete irritation both for DC and me. This is a place that sees children on the spectrum as well as children who have sensory and other issues. Is this type of behavior typical of Aspergers? If this is the case certainly I'd find some way to diffuse the situation without getting irritated with her. It's just it's happening almost every time we see her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC has sensory issues and so we take him to a place for OT. Frequently another little girl, about 9 years old and several yrs older than DC, has her OT appt at the same time as we do but with another OT. This girl is rough, loud, grabby, and extremely bossy and controlling. DC will be holding my cell phone and she'll come right up to him and grab it from his hands. She does things like this often and it's getting to the point of complete irritation both for DC and me. This is a place that sees children on the spectrum as well as children who have sensory and other issues. Is this type of behavior typical of Aspergers? If this is the case certainly I'd find some way to diffuse the situation without getting irritated with her. It's just it's happening almost every time we see her.

Not to my knowledge and I have a DS with Asperger's. More likely to engage the parent in conversation about a book, magazine article read in the waiting room, or go off on a tangent verbally. Talk to your OT and staff since the parent or caregiver isn't watching this child in the waiting room. Cell phones are expensive and not toys for other peoples children.

[Anonymous]

I don't know whether this is Aspergers or not but you definitely need to bring this up with your OT and the other child's OT. The behavior isn't acceptable and, of all places, should be corrected at the therapists' office. We've seen thing similar to what OP described and any therapist witnessing it intervened if the parent did not. In fact, at our therapy center, it seems the therapists expect parents to use time in the waiting room productively. Let's face it, pretty much all the kids there have issues and we probably have a lot of common phrases and themes (hands to yourself, respect space, acknowledge someone greeting you, look at them when you talk, etc.). Grabbing as that child did isn't acceptable anywhere, especially when it's your cell phone.

[Anonymous]

Could be but maybe not. I don't think you should be in the position of trying to diagnose another person's child. I second what everyone else has suggested about saying something to the therapist. The point is not that she may have this or that disorder but that her behavior is making you and your DC uncomfortable and that should be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Not at all, in my experience. Aspergers kid would be opposite--more socially isolated (like one PP stated, reading a book several years above) Would talk to YOU using perfect, advanced adult vocabulary and topics. Might obsess over an 'adult' topic. Aspergers kids are highly intellectual, but lack some social interaction skills. But nothing like you're speaking about.

Just curious, why would a child's diagnosis help you to prevent this behavior? Sounds more like you're prying to me. Is there a parent around when this happens?

[Anonymous]

This is why you can't jump to conclusions. PP describes some kids with AS, but by no means all. My son has AS so I live in this world. They obsess but the topics aren't necessarily adult (my DS is currently into video games). And they don't all use perfect adult vocabulary. Some do, though often in a stilted, odd way. Being controlling, bossy, having no respect for personal space can absolutely be signs of AS, or not. They aren't all withdrawn. But I do agree that this sounds like prying.

[Anonymous]

15:07 I'm not asking the therapists or the girls parents what their child's dx is, I'm asking an anonymous and public forum what issue/problem/disorder could explain such behavior. Why is that prying? I'd think you'd want to educate me and everyone else about what Aspergers truly is rather than shut down any questions about it.

I know an adult with Aspergers and she is not intellectual and lacks more than just some social skills. I can not ask her this because it's embarrassing to ask.

And the dx would not help me to prevent the behavior, it might help me to understand it more and perhaps be more compassionate about it. Not to say I'll tolerate it but I would be less irritated.

[Anonymous]

I am wondering why you would be irritated if you are in an OT office where clearly you know that children have problems. If I knew this was going to come up-I would not have anything out and I would move away as soon as she came near and if that didn't work, I would ask for assistance and continue on with my day.

[Anonymous]

The child may have a behavior disorder. I have seen kids act this way who have opositional defiant disorder, or even adhd (very impulsive thing to do...grab someone's phone). My biggest concern would not be what type of disorder the child has, but the fact that the parent is not correcting the inappropriate behavior. That drives me nuts whether it is a child with or without special needs.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs. It is logical to assume that the child is at the OT working on something possibly related to this sort of behavior. I think that the original post surprises some of us because it is not clear why AS as opposed to something else would make OP more able to understand.

Personally, I think the context itself is enough to justify a compassionate response. I believe that a helpful way to respond would be to try to contribute to the child's education in a gentle way, saying clearly but with a friendly voice: "Please don't take the cell phone. My child is using it right now" or something to establish boundaries in a kind, accepting way. We are all in this together to some extent. As parents of kids with SN, f we can't empathize with one another and help each other out, how can we expect others to???

All that said, I do of courser think that the parent or even therapist should be stepping in as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The child may have a behavior disorder. I have seen kids act this way who have opositional defiant disorder, or even adhd (very impulsive thing to do...grab someone's phone). My biggest concern would not be what type of disorder the child has, but the fact that the parent is not correcting the inappropriate behavior. That drives me nuts whether it is a child with or without special needs.

I so totally agree with you. Our therapists' office is pretty good about this sort of thing. In fact, even though I'm more vigilant when I'm in there (so many kids, so many opportunities), it's sort of a relief because I figure all the kids are there to work on some sort of issue. If my child did something OP describes, I feel less judged by the parents when I'm correcting him. I feel like they must know this is one of the things we're working on and since they're working on something, too, they at least know what I feel like and are more accepting. It also doesn't bother me if they intervene in a situation (maybe I was paying my bill or talking with the therapist and didn't see what was going on). Again, we're all there for help with issues.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm not understanding why this child would be more deserving of OP's empathy if she has an AS diagnosis versus SPD or ADHD, etc. I guess I'm wondering if OP's child is exhibiting some of these behaviors as well and she might be wondering if he is showing signs of AS? Not to be snarky...it just crossed my mind when I read her post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm not understanding why this child would be more deserving of OP's empathy if she has an AS diagnosis versus SPD or ADHD, etc. I guess I'm wondering if OP's child is exhibiting some of these behaviors as well and she might be wondering if he is showing signs of AS? Not to be snarky...it just crossed my mind when I read her post.

Oh my goodness, please forgive my repetitive sentence structure! I'm more tired than I thought.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Nope, my child isn't on the spectrum. He doesn't have oppositional defiant disorder either. But he is ADHD and has sensory issues. But he doesn't go around grabbing things that are in somebody's elses hands already so I automatically assumed that I could not attribute this girls behavior to ADHD or sensory issues. I figured it must be something else. I know ADHD kids can be impulsive but a nine yr old grabbing things from other people's hands seems to be more of a social skills issue than impulsivity so I was wondering....


I have read enough on ADHD and sensory issues because my child has these issues. But I do not know about Aspergers and I want to learn more. Is this forum not a safe one to learn more about the social skills deficits and how it can manifest itself in Aspergers children? Wondering why this is such a taboo question?

I did tell this girl to please return the cell phone and she eventually did. But then the exact same thing happened again. The therapist did not do anything about it. When the incident is occurring I can't leave to go get another therapist to help retrieve my cell phone. It's expensive and I don't want it in her hands for a second longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nope, my child isn't on the spectrum. He doesn't have oppositional defiant disorder either. But he is ADHD and has sensory issues. But he doesn't go around grabbing things that are in somebody's elses hands already so I automatically assumed that I could not attribute this girls behavior to ADHD or sensory issues. I figured it must be something else. I know ADHD kids can be impulsive but a nine yr old grabbing things from other people's hands seems to be more of a social skills issue than impulsivity so I was wondering....


I have read enough on ADHD and sensory issues because my child has these issues. But I do not know about Aspergers and I want to learn more. Is this forum not a safe one to learn more about the social skills deficits and how it can manifest itself in Aspergers children? Wondering why this is such a taboo question?

I did tell this girl to please return the cell phone and she eventually did. But then the exact same thing happened again. The therapist did not do anything about it. When the incident is occurring I can't leave to go get another therapist to help retrieve my cell phone. It's expensive and I don't want it in her hands for a second longer.

I think it is your tone. The tone in the first post is off-putting and I think your latest posting is also abrasive.

Did you ask the therapist to help you? Did you communicate with your child's theraptist about experiencing problems in the waiting room?

Why do you assume the child has aspergers vs. some other problem?