What do you tell your kids about outside testing or related appointments

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old son is just about to do a 2nd round of (private) academic testing just for some data to bring into an upcoming IEP meeting. We just told him it has been a few years and we were wondering how he was doing...but I am wondering what he was thinking about it. He knows he has some academic issues and gets pulled out for resource time and does tutoring. I don't feel comfortable telling him that we are doing testing because we feel the school is not doing enough for him and want to prove his progress is not great. He knows our other child has never done testing. How much info do you give?

[Anonymous]

Our 8 year old has had outside testing. We explain it as, "you know how you are having a hard time with X? Person Z is going to give you some tests to see if we can identify different ways of helping you be successful." This has been pretty well received by our child as they're pretty aware they are struggling in certain areas.

[Anonymous]

I do exactly what 15:10 does. When we did neuropsych testing, I had a conversation with him about things that he was having difficulty with and how the testing would help us learn to handle the difficult issues. When he had to go to the ENT, I explained that he was having trouble pronouncing his words because he couldn't hear them correctly and the ENT was going to fix his ears (he was only 3 at the time). These explanations immediately endeared my DS to the provider because he felt they were there to help him. One thing I never do is criticize the school even if that's the way I feel. I can't think of any good that would come from my DS mistrusting those to whom we entrust him everyday.

[Anonymous]

We do something similar as the PPs and, so far, it's been pretty low key.

[Anonymous]

If your child has an actual diagnosis you should share it with him to help him understand. Otherwise, I agree with the others. Be honest, tell him exactly why he is going, but don't make it a heavy or bad thing.

[Anonymous]

As a follow on, does anyone have any advice on how to address these appointments with a much younger child (3 y.o.)?? She's really inquisitive and always needs all the details on everything so "we're going to talk to a nice lady" isn't going over too well. Any advice is appreciated, thanks!

[Anonymous]

My "spiel" for my then 6 year old was to discuss how everyone learns things in different ways and can learn some types of things faster than other types of things. "These activities will help us to discover which teaching methods will be the best for you and also let us know which kinds of topics are easier or more challenging for you ... then your teachers will be better able to help you learn and have fun at school!" For a three year old, I would just say something along the lines of "we are going to go do some fun puzzles and games ... doesn't that sound fun?!"