Is this cultural appropriation?

[Anonymous]

Two scenarios:
1. White person married to spouse of different ethnicity. Can the white spouse wear traditional clothes from spouses ethnicity to social events (parties, weddings)?
Does it matter what the event is? What of the event is focused on a culture event (religious or other cultural event where cultural clothing is usually worn).

[Anonymous]

Sorry that was one scenario. I was thinking about breaking out the event specific question.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Yes they can.

[Anonymous]

Of course you can.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I was presented with several ao dai outfits from my ILs when I married my Vietnamese husband. They're lovely. I've worn them at Vietnamese weddings and New Year's parties.

[Anonymous]

Of course they can. What a ridiculous question.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends. Like if you are married to a person of Indian heritage and you go to an Indian wedding, yes you can wear a sari no problem, lots of non-Indian people do this at weddings even if they are not married in, because saris are beautiful and it’s considered a respectful way of embracing the culture and traditions.

On the other hand, if you married a Jewish woman (who is not orthodox) and then wanted to dress as an Orthodox Jew, I’d consider that weird and disrespectful on like 4 different levels.

The detail matter here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. Like if you are married to a person of Indian heritage and you go to an Indian wedding, yes you can wear a sari no problem, lots of non-Indian people do this at weddings even if they are not married in, because saris are beautiful and it’s considered a respectful way of embracing the culture and traditions.

On the other hand, if you married a Jewish woman (who is not orthodox) and then wanted to dress as an Orthodox Jew, I’d consider that weird and disrespectful on like 4 different levels.

The detail matter here.

And since this poster has apparently made herself the final arbiter on the subject, OP you will need to get in touch with her to approve the specific outfit that you have in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course they can. What a ridiculous question.

Are you kidding, this is par for the course on DCUM. The land where saying “scotch tape” may be offensive.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, OP. OF COURSE the spouse can and SHOULD wear ethnic clothing to be respectful of their spouse's ethnicity/nationality. You sound crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry that was one scenario. I was thinking about breaking out the event specific question.

You don't need two separate posts. What is the event, what are the cultures?

[Anonymous]

I think if you have a tie to the culture, like you bought the outfit on a trip, love the country, or lived there. But just never been to country and buying outfit on Amazon like a costume is very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. Like if you are married to a person of Indian heritage and you go to an Indian wedding, yes you can wear a sari no problem, lots of non-Indian people do this at weddings even if they are not married in, because saris are beautiful and it’s considered a respectful way of embracing the culture and traditions.

On the other hand, if you married a Jewish woman (who is not orthodox) and then wanted to dress as an Orthodox Jew, I’d consider that weird and disrespectful on like 4 different levels.

The detail matter here.

And since this poster has apparently made herself the final arbiter on the subject, OP you will need to get in touch with her to approve the specific outfit that you have in mind.

Offering an opinion is not the same as designating yourself “final arbiter.” Saying the context matters is a pretty mild statement anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you have a tie to the culture, like you bought the outfit on a trip, love the country, or lived there. But just never been to country and buying outfit on Amazon like a costume is very weird.

Except if you're expected to wear the cultural clothing to the event, then sounds like non issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god, OP. OF COURSE the spouse can and SHOULD wear ethnic clothing to be respectful of their spouse's ethnicity/nationality. You sound crazy.

NP. I agree with “they can” but I’ll debate you on the word “should.” No, spouses should not feel they have to wear traditional clothes from spouse’s culture, that is not necessarily respectful and there are a wide range of ways to show respect outside of clothing.