Happiness U Curve

[Anonymous]

I don't really know if this is a real thing but I am mid late 40s and definitely feel like I am at the bottom of the U. I kind of hope it is true and the upswing will come.

I know how to positive self talk and distract and do all the things to pull myself up but I realize I am just generally unhappy and sad. Lots of minor little things and the irritability of being pre-menopausal doesn't help. I started a new job which felt like a fresh start and then shortly after had a misunderstanding / miscommunication with a new colleague that she blew way out of proportion and it just deflated me again. I feel alone - friends are all tired and no one seems really happy. Everyone is busy and I rarely see them. Single, which feels freeing on some days but very lonely and unloved on most. Parents are aging and one parent isn't well. It has been a long time since I had a good laugh or really enjoyed life. Have travelled and life is good but I just can't shake this mid life discontentment. I am generally a pretty positive and optimistic person and appreciate the good life I have but this year I also feel like I am just not myself and turning into a grump.

I kind of feel that I just need to wait it out and hope for the upswing. Curious if others went through this and do feel like they came out the other side?

[Anonymous]

In it now. Telling myself it’s the U and hoping it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

In my case, the combo of older kid demands without little kid snugggles and forced ‘taking it slow’, coupled with overwhelming responsibility at work, sick parents, and feeling like I’m missing opportunities to be strong, fit, and out enjoying the world before I’m really old, are all contributing factors. And a marriage that is generally happy but has its frustrations that clearly at this point aren’t going anywhere. I too am an optimistic person in general and try to enjoy the little moments but am finding it hard and am generally stressed.

I remember my mom going through a similar period and coming out the other side. I keep telling myself it’s just a stage that will pass.

[Anonymous]

The sick/dying parents thing is very difficult. And it can go on a very long time.

The lack of snuggles thing is sad, but older teenagers have their compensations. You can have some interesting conversations with them (at least on the rare occasions that they are around and engaged)...

I am working hard to try to maintain/develop friendships. It is hard because people are still very busy, but I know that these will be important in the next few years when the kids leave.

I have older friends/relatives that seem to have a great time in early retirement. If you are lucky and have the money and health, that seems to be something to look forward to..