Screaming baby

[Anonymous]

Help! My 14 month old screams a lot, basically all day. I feel like I’m losing my mind and I’m really feeling disconnected from her. How can I get her to stop? We have held her arms and told her no very firmly but it doesn’t do anything (and we are firm and consistent). She also loves to throw anything in sight while she screams and she punches her fists in the air. It’s just gotten unbearable and makes life unenjoyable listening to her scream through every dinner, bath, playtime, riding in her stroller. It even hurts your ears if you’re holding her. I’m having a lot of trouble with anxiety and I realize the major cause is listening to her screech.

She’s my 3rd child and we’re attentive parents and she also has an attentive nanny. She’s actually happy most of the time she’s screaming, she’s just… feisty. Grandparents don’t want to be around her, can’t take her in stores anymore, no restaurants and we changed Christmas plans to make sure we aren’t getting on an airplane (you’re welcome airplane flyers!).

[Anonymous]

Can she talk? Is she trying to communicate or expel energy? If she's trying to communicate and screaming in frustration I'd teach her some baby sign language including words like hurt, angry, frustrated, tired, hungry, play, all done, etc. If it's just energy then I'd up her activities. Get her running around more.

Each time she goes to throw I'd catch her arms, and hold them still while saying "No throwing." Same for punching.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. Is this a recent phenomenon?
What can you do to manage your anxiety—medication, meditation, earplugs?

[Anonymous]

Is she sad, or just loud?

My DS had undiagnosed lactose intolerance at that age and really did cry/scream a lot and then it turned off like a switch once we dropped milk.

[Anonymous]

Put her down in a safe spot and ignore her until she stops screaming.

[Anonymous]

Op here. She’s just loud and sometimes angry. If I ignore her screams she does cry. It’s like she’s frustrated and impatient. Like she wanted to take a bath tonight and was so excited. But she screamed because she didn’t want to take her clothes off and I wasn’t doing it fast enough. When she wants to eat, she wants it NOW and will scream.

It isn’t a lactose allergy because she won’t drink milk and doesn’t even like cheese. In general she loves to eat though.

I’m hoping this will get better as she gets older. She does know baby sign language (more, thank you, please, hungry) but isn’t a fan of using it.

[Anonymous]

What does your pediatrician say about this?

[Anonymous]

Your kid may just have an intense personality. You sound like you could really use more help and time off. I say this as someone with an intense kid myself who sometimes struggles to empathize with her when I don’t get enough time away. Our s is almost 10 with ADHD and anxiety. I love her. She is a lot.

[Anonymous]

Oh - also - how is her hearing? Any chance she doesn’t know how loud she is because her ears are clogged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh - also - how is her hearing? Any chance she doesn’t know how loud she is because her ears are clogged?

OP here. Her hearing is wonderful and there's nothing physically wrong with her. She is slower to talk (she's stubborn. She's said words but won't say them again once she's said them) so we had her hearing tested.

I have a lot of time off coming up and her and I are going to have more one on one time.

I do think it's her personality, but I'd like to tweak it and help her learn patience. Someone in the store recently told me I should be disciplining her and that they would not let their baby scream like that. Sigh. I already had carried her out and was walking with her on the sidewalk in front of the store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh - also - how is her hearing? Any chance she doesn’t know how loud she is because her ears are clogged?

OP here. Her hearing is wonderful and there's nothing physically wrong with her. She is slower to talk (she's stubborn. She's said words but won't say them again once she's said them) so we had her hearing tested.

I have a lot of time off coming up and her and I are going to have more one on one time.

I do think it's her personality, but I'd like to tweak it and help her learn patience. Someone in the store recently told me I should be disciplining her and that they would not let their baby scream like that. Sigh. I already had carried her out and was walking with her on the sidewalk in front of the store.

This person sounds like a perfect idiot and you should not let them affect your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh - also - how is her hearing? Any chance she doesn’t know how loud she is because her ears are clogged?

OP here. Her hearing is wonderful and there's nothing physically wrong with her. She is slower to talk (she's stubborn. She's said words but won't say them again once she's said them) so we had her hearing tested.

I have a lot of time off coming up and her and I are going to have more one on one time.

I do think it's her personality, but I'd like to tweak it and help her learn patience. Someone in the store recently told me I should be disciplining her and that they would not let their baby scream like that. Sigh. I already had carried her out and was walking with her on the sidewalk in front of the store.

Op, no advice except f*ck that stranger who thought it would appropriate to give a struggling parent unsolicited advice outside a store.

[Anonymous]

Can she speak OP? Maybe with two older siblings that's how she is getting attention in situations where you are focused elsewhere? Kids communicate with us by verbalizing and through movement, so I would read it as she's trying to communicate by doing this. Look for patterns for when and why she screams, let her lead in these interactions and try to mimic what she's doing to get more information, and remember that this is temporary. And do not discipline her. She's just a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh - also - how is her hearing? Any chance she doesn’t know how loud she is because her ears are clogged?

OP here. Her hearing is wonderful and there's nothing physically wrong with her. She is slower to talk (she's stubborn. She's said words but won't say them again once she's said them) so we had her hearing tested.

I have a lot of time off coming up and her and I are going to have more one on one time.

I do think it's her personality, but I'd like to tweak it and help her learn patience. Someone in the store recently told me I should be disciplining her and that they would not let their baby scream like that. Sigh. I already had carried her out and was walking with her on the sidewalk in front of the store.

Tweak it to learn patience? She's a baby, OP. You raised two other kids, so you know that you can't weak their personalities. They are who they are. I'm frustrated with you for being frustrated with her! And as a third time mom you know not to listen to random people in the grocery store.

[Anonymous]

Shes having a hard time communicating. Keep practicing words and sign language. My kid was similar and had a speech delay and it got much much better in 6 months when she could say what she wanted. Also, i don't give anything or give in when screaming. Screaming people dont get what they want. I wait it out and when screaming stops, i provide the requested item.