Third Child Registry?

[Anonymous]

OK, so coworker is having 3rd child. First two kids are under 4.

She has created a registry for gifts for 3rd child, a boy, and current registry has items which are for girls (pink sheets, flowery comforter, girls room decor) and other older toddler items. These things are clearly for her other kids.

Is this the new normal? Why would anyone buy gifts for her other two children when we already bought her gifts for them when they were born?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, so coworker is having 3rd child. First two kids are under 4.

She has created a registry for gifts for 3rd child, a boy, and current registry has items which are for girls (pink sheets, flowery comforter, girls room decor) and other older toddler items. These things are clearly for her other kids.

Is this the new normal? Why would anyone buy gifts for her other two children when we already bought her gifts for them when they were born?

Having a registry for a third child is already beyond tacky, so why not go all the way?

[Anonymous]

Did she tell you about the registry or did you just find it yourself? Is she having or expecting a shower?

People sometimes create registries for subsequent children and buy items themselves (or if family want to give things, direct them to the registry) because you can use it to get discounts and free stuff from places like Amazon, Target, Walmart, etc. So yes, why not put stuff for your older kids on their in order to hit whatever your registry target its and get the gift card or free newborn back or whatever? Especially if your toddlers need new sheets or something.

If she didn't tell you about the registry and you just snooped it online, why do you care? Most people don't give shower-type gifts for 2nd or 3d kids and you are under no obligation to do so.

[Anonymous]

So she is either a self-centered jerk who was raised in a barn with no manners and is trying to swindle people into upgrades for her older children or they are there for the registry completion discount.

It’s much more fun to make fun of her and make her out to lack self awareness, so let’s go with the former.

[Anonymous]

I would not partake, but that is just me. Unless the two oldest are both girls and she only put boy clothes on it but what you are describing is an obvious and ridiculous gift grab. If we were good friends I probably would have bought something anyway but that registry would turn me totally off. A registry period would turn me off at baby 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she tell you about the registry or did you just find it yourself? Is she having or expecting a shower?

People sometimes create registries for subsequent children and buy items themselves (or if family want to give things, direct them to the registry) because you can use it to get discounts and free stuff from places like Amazon, Target, Walmart, etc. So yes, why not put stuff for your older kids on their in order to hit whatever your registry target its and get the gift card or free newborn back or whatever? Especially if your toddlers need new sheets or something.

If she didn't tell you about the registry and you just snooped it online, why do you care? Most people don't give shower-type gifts for 2nd or 3d kids and you are under no obligation to do so.

No, she purposely mentioned registry at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she tell you about the registry or did you just find it yourself? Is she having or expecting a shower?

People sometimes create registries for subsequent children and buy items themselves (or if family want to give things, direct them to the registry) because you can use it to get discounts and free stuff from places like Amazon, Target, Walmart, etc. So yes, why not put stuff for your older kids on their in order to hit whatever your registry target its and get the gift card or free newborn back or whatever? Especially if your toddlers need new sheets or something.

If she didn't tell you about the registry and you just snooped it online, why do you care? Most people don't give shower-type gifts for 2nd or 3d kids and you are under no obligation to do so.

This.

[Anonymous]

#Trashy

[Anonymous]

This is not normal and obviously comes across as pretty ridiculous. I would assume she’s hurting for cash and doesn’t have a great sense of what is appropriate when it comes to baby showers.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t have a baby shower or share my registry but I had like 3. They are free to start, often come with gifts and then you can use the “completion discount” even if no one has bought anything. I’m strongly considering having a fake second child to buy toddler clothes.

So if she did share it, it’s probably because someone asked for one, and she put a bunch of other stuff on there for the completion discount. Or maybe because grandparents asked about big sibling gifts or something. She shouldn’t have shared it with anyone else, but with a third on the way you should try to extend as much grace as possible.

Alternatively, she is just from a culture where parties come with a strong expectation of gifts. That’s not how I was brought up, but I think it is a thing more among working class people with tighter entertaining budgets so I’m not going to judge. You’re under no obligation to buy anything at all. If you feel like the party is gift-centric, you can politely decline.

[Anonymous]

Buy a blue teddy bear at CVS. Put it in a blue bag with toy trains, tie a ribbon to it, and put in a card saying "Best wishes on the birth of your child." Handed it to her before she goes on maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

Beyond tacky. I actually wouldn’t give anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beyond tacky. I actually wouldn’t give anything

+1 I would not either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t have a baby shower or share my registry but I had like 3. They are free to start, often come with gifts and then you can use the “completion discount” even if no one has bought anything. I’m strongly considering having a fake second child to buy toddler clothes.

So if she did share it, it’s probably because someone asked for one, and she put a bunch of other stuff on there for the completion discount. Or maybe because grandparents asked about big sibling gifts or something. She shouldn’t have shared it with anyone else, but with a third on the way you should try to extend as much grace as possible.

Alternatively, she is just from a culture where parties come with a strong expectation of gifts. That’s not how I was brought up, but I think it is a thing more among working class people with tighter entertaining budgets so I’m not going to judge. You’re under no obligation to buy anything at all. If you feel like the party is gift-centric, you can politely decline.

Both great things to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she tell you about the registry or did you just find it yourself? Is she having or expecting a shower?

People sometimes create registries for subsequent children and buy items themselves (or if family want to give things, direct them to the registry) because you can use it to get discounts and free stuff from places like Amazon, Target, Walmart, etc. So yes, why not put stuff for your older kids on their in order to hit whatever your registry target its and get the gift card or free newborn back or whatever? Especially if your toddlers need new sheets or something.

If she didn't tell you about the registry and you just snooped it online, why do you care? Most people don't give shower-type gifts for 2nd or 3d kids and you are under no obligation to do so.

No, she purposely mentioned registry at work.

Way to bury the lede. This is the tacky part. I had a registry for my second. It was a convenient place to essentially keep a list of what we needed to buy, plus, then we could get the completion discount. When a couple people expressed an interest in getting something for my second child, and asked what we needed, I handed them the link (why, not, they were asking!)

But mentioning it at work is beyond tacky. I wouldn't even do that for my first! By request only!!