I don't like the Parent Association leaders at our school (big 3)

[Anonymous]

We're in Lower School at a big 3 and it is our fourth year. A few years ago when we met a few of the parents who serve on Parent Association the first time, they were super nice to us (warm welcome, helped with tour, helped with questions). Then after we started the school, they are completely different and don't even care to say hi and have no interest of getting to know new families. One of the parents has met us multiple times at various events and every time when I tried to have a conversation, she hasn't showed any respect and only wanted to talk to teachers or school admin around her. Over the times I've found out she does that to other new families as well, and only network with the parents in their circle. My children are having a great time at school and I think the school does amazing job creating an inclusive environment, but unfortunately those parents who help welcome new families turned out to be the biggest disappointment. Anyone else have similar experiences?

[Anonymous]

Completely. Our big 3 is the same. The PA folks are surprisingly transactional and inauthentic.

[Anonymous]

The. Worst.

To add insult to injury the Head of our school selects the executive committee. They are total sheep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Completely. Our big 3 is the same. The PA folks are surprisingly transactional and inauthentic.

Interesting. I wonder if it is the same school as us. The current PA president selects the next PA President and it continues year after year so they are picking from the same social group. Then these same people pick the parents that run all off the community events. It is the most polarizing process. Same people running everything. You can even help decorate or help set up for your child’s events unless you are invited to do so. Same group on the governing board and then they also pick their replacements and pick who is on special committees for the board. Then they wonder why only certain parents show up to events and are involved with the school. The rest have been shut out. Also our PA pres also is selectively nice to only certain people. In previous school they only selected the most neutral inclusive parents to be the PA President.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you and other parents with similar experiences should make sure you are seeking out new families and helping them feel welcome. I bet you can bring a lot of empathy to those encounters with new folks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you and other parents with similar experiences should make sure you are seeking out new families and helping them feel welcome. I bet you can bring a lot of empathy to those encounters with new folks!

Sure, as long as the new people are also fine with zero volunteer opportunities because PP and OP aren't in a position to volunteer themselves

[Anonymous]

Yes, to the PP above. Stick with the others!
Also, this happens at non-Big-3 schools too... BTDT at three schools.
People can be rude and weird everywhere...ignore them and just find your tribe. It takes time, that's for sure.

[Anonymous]

+1 and also at a Big 3.

With 3 kids, I have volunteered for multiple years for some role, and have never once been asked to do anything. I have finally given up. The worst is having to sit through presentations that include people from the PA, carrying on about how "they need everyone to be involved." It's such a joke. And yet constant emphasis on "the PA is there to serve you; if you have any problems at all, go through the PA for guidance."

[Anonymous]

+1 also big 3 LS. I’ve never heard of a school consistently turning down volunteers like our school does. Then complaining when they need help that no one has signed up. 🤔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 also big 3 LS. I’ve never heard of a school consistently turning down volunteers like our school does. Then complaining when they need help that no one has signed up. 🤔

Same here. They send out Signup Genius links and they're lucky if half the spots get filled. THey'd love to have more volunteers!

[Anonymous]

I mean, you guys are all at k-12 schools. So you don't need to impress anyone by your fundraising/volunteer skills to make sure your kids get into high school. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

The people they choose are the people who actually show-up to meetings and take an interest in the school. Truthfully, most parents rarely show their face around their DC’s school.

I attend many events and most parents, particularly fathers, are complete strangers. Many parents are extreme Type A and cannot fathom serving on any committee unless they’re in complete control. Lawyers are the absolute worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you guys are all at k-12 schools. So you don't need to impress anyone by your fundraising/volunteer skills to make sure your kids get into high school. Who cares?

THIS. Your kids are happy. Do the absolute minimum and spend your free time with your real friends.

[Anonymous]

Ya’ll the big 3 thing is done. Either say a school name or don’t.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should change schools? I’m noticing parent class reps are often new parents at our school (suckers!) and I’m super uncool and unengaged and i still get asked to do things all the time. I try to say no as often as possible, but i still get asked. I think it’s a culture issue because at our school there’s no situation in which help offered would be turned down.