adhd and very different preschooler behavior at home versus school

[Anonymous]

Has anyone experienced ADHD like behavior at home and the opposite at school for a preschooler? Was it ultimately ADHD?

My 5yo has had a eval was borderline for adhd...he can be spacey at school

My 4yo is the one I'm curious about - at home he's insanely high energy, all over the place, can't sit still, not patience for puzzles / games or other similar tasks, loud, and just in general seems out of control of himself. At school he is extremely withdrawn, compliant, and quiet. He'd quietly keep to himself in the reading corner all day if he could. Based on home behavior I suspect he may have ADHD but school behavior doesn't support that, but school behavior may be driven by anxiety / separation issues

Just curious if others had similar kids and where they landed

[Anonymous]

Not at that age but ds had very strong adhd remarks at home and the opposite at elementary school on his Vanderbilt. The pediatrician suggested it was my parenting.
It turned out to be adhd but extreme anxiety so he was masking at school.

[Anonymous]

Your child most likely has all that energy saved up from trying to behave and sit still at school. when he gets home he has energy to burn and can let loose.

[Anonymous]

Start homeschooling and it will be regulated.

[Anonymous]

I agree with his trying to hold it together for school and just letting it all out at home. Kids that age are doing the best they can in the circumstances. Call Claire Lerner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child most likely has all that energy saved up from trying to behave and sit still at school. when he gets home he has energy to burn and can let loose.

this was my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child most likely has all that energy saved up from trying to behave and sit still at school. when he gets home he has energy to burn and can let loose.

That doesn’t necessarily mean he has ADHD, though. It’s certainly possible, of course; but frankly, it’s really not developmentally appropriate even for neurotypical kids, what we ask of very young kids at school.

[Anonymous]

Mine was like yours at school. At home he was a bit impulsive, very active but within the realm of normal for a preschooler, a bit defiant with us but also very big in his reactions, very happy/extremely upset and so on. At school he was weirdly focused to the point of tuning everyone out. He didn't like transitions but handled them well at school (or intenralized all reactions).

Things got worse for him emotionally as he got older and it was obvious that anxiety was a major issue (diagnosed at 4). Teachers were increasingly concerned about his emotional well-being but saw no other issues ("whatever is going on this kid DEFINITELY does not have ADHD"), largely because he was advanced in everything. At six we did a whole neurospych: results were severe generalized anxiety and severe ADHD. ADHD was very textbook looking at the tests: in the WISC, superior academic scores, average working memory, extremely low processing speed. He scored 99th percentile on the achievement tests. On the targeted ADHD tests, he scored lowest possible score.

As for school, he happens to like reading, math, academic activities so that has always been his area of hyperfocus. But the older he got, the more miserable at school.I also realized that he probably had an LD. Once we identified the LD and dealt with the anxiety, all the rest became easier to manage.

ADHD became much more obvious over the years but can be difficult to treat. Stimulants work but also cause anxiety and insomnia for my kid.

Anyway, my feeling with the school setting is that people assume ADHD means behavior issues and slow learning, but it really depends on the child, his other challenges and strengths, and even his personality.

[Anonymous]

My 3rd grader is identified as gifted and is a model student, both behaviorally and academically. He most likely has ADHD - I know because I have ADHD and my mom constantly points out how much he is like I was at that age. I was also a model student - valedictorian of my class, engineering major at a prestigious university, diagnosed in my late 20s.

It’s masking and it takes a lot of mental and physical energy - leading to collapse at home.

[Anonymous]

I think you should get him evaluated. And ask him what he thinks about at school and how he feels there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should get him evaluated. And ask him what he thinks about at school and how he feels there.

I probably will when he's older, he's too young right now. Its hard to imagine him for an eval...my older one studiously did every puzzle / exercise and worked his way right through it. This one would probably stay in his chair for all of 2 minutes before getting weirded out by being in the strange room and then dance around yelling "booooottyyyyy". sigh

[Anonymous]

For ADHD, the symptoms must exist and persist in at least 2 settings. Meeting the behavioral expectations at home at that age is a challenge and at home he can let loose.