In-laws dog was hit by a car - offer condolences or not?

[Anonymous]

I want to add that my in-laws do not like me. They do not respond to my texts or calls so I have stopped trying. They are nice enough people but have no interest in getting to know me or involving me in their family. My husband is gone half of the year and I solo parent my child. It’s radio silence on their end when he’s gone. We don’t wish each other happy birthdays, go to birthday parties (unless my husband is home), it’s basically like I don’t exist.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic and slowly reduced contact with them because he is uncomfortable with how much they drink. He doesn’t participate in the family holiday booze-fests. My FIL doesn’t understand why my husband doesn’t want to have a drink when he’s over visiting at their house visiting with our 3 year old. I have been cold and quiet at their holiday parties because they are overwhelming, loud and boisterous. I don’t fit in. So, we don’t talk.

But their dog was hit by a car, which is awful and sad. As a pet owner I understand how sad that is. I’m thinking of sending flowers or a card. I know they wouldn’t send flowers or a card if my cat died.

So I shouldn’t really offer condolences, right? I do think it’s sad. I don’t think they would answer my call unless it was an emergency and I was in the hospital or something.

[Anonymous]

Send a card and know that you are the better person. You’ll feed good once you’ve sent it.

[Anonymous]

Send a card. Or a text. This shouldn’t even be a question.

[Anonymous]

How did you find out their dog was hit by a car? Also I wouldn't send flowers if the dog was alive. Did the dog die? If not, I'd just text "Just heard Rover was hit by a car. So sorry to hear it. Charles, Charlie and I are all sending our best wishes to you and Rover."

If the dog DID die, I'd donate money to the vet in the dog's name.

[Anonymous]

Card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to add that my in-laws do not like me. They do not respond to my texts or calls so I have stopped trying. They are nice enough people but have no interest in getting to know me or involving me in their family. My husband is gone half of the year and I solo parent my child. It’s radio silence on their end when he’s gone. We don’t wish each other happy birthdays, go to birthday parties (unless my husband is home), it’s basically like I don’t exist.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic and slowly reduced contact with them because he is uncomfortable with how much they drink. He doesn’t participate in the family holiday booze-fests. My FIL doesn’t understand why my husband doesn’t want to have a drink when he’s over visiting at their house visiting with our 3 year old. I have been cold and quiet at their holiday parties because they are overwhelming, loud and boisterous. I don’t fit in. So, we don’t talk.

But their dog was hit by a car, which is awful and sad. As a pet owner I understand how sad that is. I’m thinking of sending flowers or a card. I know they wouldn’t send flowers or a card if my cat died.

So I shouldn’t really offer condolences, right? I do think it’s sad. I don’t think they would answer my call unless it was an emergency and I was in the hospital or something.

Be the bigger person. If you can afford flowers, send them. At least send a card. It's the right thing to do regardless of what they would do in return.

[Anonymous]

Dont bother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send a card and know that you are the better person. You’ll feed good once you’ve sent it.

This

[Anonymous]

Absolutely send something. I'd do a card or flowers if the poor dog died. A text would be ok if s/he's injured, but follow up with a get well card. (I'm a dog person, if you can't tell.)

This could build somewhat of a bridge between the families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely send something. I'd do a card or flowers if the poor dog died. A text would be ok if s/he's injured, but follow up with a get well card. (I'm a dog person, if you can't tell.)

This could build somewhat of a bridge between the families.

+1 I agree with this. I would probably send flowers if they can be delivered tomorrow. You need to include a card. Sympathy and empathy are always appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I would send condolences, perhaps with a card. Something simple. Some people aren't demonstrative when pets die. My friend appeared totally normal when his beloved cat died - he was actually worried about my child, who loved to pet the cat, coming over and being upset at his absence... which was really thoughtful of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you find out their dog was hit by a car? Also I wouldn't send flowers if the dog was alive. Did the dog die? If not, I'd just text "Just heard Rover was hit by a car. So sorry to hear it. Charles, Charlie and I are all sending our best wishes to you and Rover."

If the dog DID die, I'd donate money to the vet in the dog's name.

Or to an animal shelter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send a card. Or a text. This shouldn’t even be a question.

+100

It's a tragic situation no matter who it happens to.

Hec, I offer condolences on the Pet Forum to total strangers.


And, perhaps, your card might be a catalyst for an improved relationship going forward.

[Anonymous]

Send a text or email with a nice memory of the dog. No need for flowers.

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine sending flowers or a card to my inlaws. I would call and tell them how sorry I was to hear about the dog and have a compassionate and empathetic conversation with them. I would do that whether I liked them or they liked me at all.