DH's aunt sent 15K cash to scammers

[Anonymous]

How to protect elderly relatives and ourselves as we get old from scammers?

DH's aunt in her late 80s keeps falling for scams. Three times she fell for some scam and was paying thousands of dollars to some people pretending to provide her services. Three times DH had to reset all her passwords, reset her computer, had conversations with her, put her credit on freeze.

And after all that she fell for it again. This time she physically went to the bank, withdrew 15K cash and mailed them in UPS envelope thinking that these people accidentally transferred the money into her account and she was returning it.

[Anonymous]

Tell them not to send money to people they don't know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them not to send money to people they don't know

Uhhh, it sounds like they're way beyond this being effective.

The only thing that I can think of that would work is putting your DH as a co-account holder on her accounts. Hopefully have her agree to that. Then alert the bank that your DH also needs to agree on any withdrawals prior to them happening as co-account holder. That way he can catch them before they happen.

My dad almost fell for one of these and we did the above.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone have POA? Someone may need to step in and take over her finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have POA? Someone may need to step in and take over her finances.

100% this. Maybe not entirely take over but someone needs access to her accounts and the ability to approve huge transfers/withdraws.

My almost 80 year old fully mentally competent father was scammed out of $70K The scammers are very convincing. They somehow talked him through going to the store and buying bitcoin. They also convinced him to buy Target gift cards and give them the numbers. Once we figured out what was going on we got POA and access to all his accounts. We also met with his banks and they now know the situation and will give us a notice if he is trying to transfer large amounts of money. He still has full control over his accounts but we monitor it closely. Most of his money is in investments which he can't get to immediately which is reassuring. We keep only a small amount in his checking/savings account. Only enough that if god forbid he got scammed again it would only be a small amount. The $70K he gave away was in his checking account (which we had no clue he had so much in there).

Moral of the story. Check in with your elderly relatives on their finances every once in a while before it's too late. Even if they seem like they have it all together.

[Anonymous]

POA = power of attorney? It won’t stop them from falling for scammers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have POA? Someone may need to step in and take over her finances.

100% this. Maybe not entirely take over but someone needs access to her accounts and the ability to approve huge transfers/withdraws.

My almost 80 year old fully mentally competent father was scammed out of $70K The scammers are very convincing. They somehow talked him through going to the store and buying bitcoin. They also convinced him to buy Target gift cards and give them the numbers. Once we figured out what was going on we got POA and access to all his accounts. We also met with his banks and they now know the situation and will give us a notice if he is trying to transfer large amounts of money. He still has full control over his accounts but we monitor it closely. Most of his money is in investments which he can't get to immediately which is reassuring. We keep only a small amount in his checking/savings account. Only enough that if god forbid he got scammed again it would only be a small amount. The $70K he gave away was in his checking account (which we had no clue he had so much in there).

Moral of the story. Check in with your elderly relatives on their finances every once in a while before it's too late. Even if they seem like they have it all together.

Your father was likely not fully competent when this happened, but possibly competent enough to pass a screen-which is not the same. We found the only way to stop it is to control all finances. The problem is they could start accusing you of things or other family members could. You can always have siblings be able to view the accounts and see you aren't taking anything. It's very complicated and it makes me all the more empathetic for people who have mentally ill adult children or adult children who are just mildly intellectually disabled-enough to be easy prey, but not enough for parents to control things. The world is a terrible place for those with brain issues and some of the same laws that protect them also screw them.

[Anonymous]

I keep responding to these posts to contradict all of you who think someone has to be demented to fall for these scams.

You do not realize just how convincing these scammers are. My mother -- who is perfectly competent, intelligent and aware that scams exist and target older people -- fell for the "Amazon refunded you too much and you have to return it immediately" scam. To the tune of $50K.

She truly believed she was facing jail time if she didn't wire transfer this money to a bank in China.

Please don't think anyone is safe from these criminals. I now have access to her accounts so I can see what's going on. I tried to get the bank manager to set up her accounts so I would have to also approve large transactions. That simply doesn't exist, although it should.

[Anonymous]

There is some kind of financial guardianship (I forget what it’s called) where you have complete freedom to spend your money - but only up to a max per-transaction limit (say, $500 or $1000). It allows people like this to feel super independent, but means that someone else (their designee) has to co-sign something like this. That sounds like the best option.

In a way, most married people already have this, informally. My husband and I don’t do anything with money above $500 without consulting each other. So if one of us got caught up in a scam (which can happen!! Even to young heathy people!! These folks are GOOD!) we would check with the other before pulling the trigger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is some kind of financial guardianship (I forget what it’s called) where you have complete freedom to spend your money - but only up to a max per-transaction limit (say, $500 or $1000). It allows people like this to feel super independent, but means that someone else (their designee) has to co-sign something like this. That sounds like the best option.

In a way, most married people already have this, informally. My husband and I don’t do anything with money above $500 without consulting each other. So if one of us got caught up in a scam (which can happen!! Even to young heathy people!! These folks are GOOD!) we would check with the other before pulling the trigger.

This sounds really smart if anyone knows the name?

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. they started with relatives much younger than 80 and got money (30s/40s). They are also getting more sophistication.

[Anonymous]

I just found out my 80 yo uncle was scammed out of his savings, roughly $100k. Scary. I spoke with my mom and seems to understand how these scams work. Luckily most of her money is in investments and that company would probably question her withdrawing large amounts of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found out my 80 yo uncle was scammed out of his savings, roughly $100k. Scary. I spoke with my mom and seems to understand how these scams work. Luckily most of her money is in investments and that company would probably question her withdrawing large amounts of money.

Again -- the company "might question her withdrawing large amounts of money" -- but they cannot stop her.

My mother (who sent $50K to China) swore up and down to the bank manager that she was sending the money to a friend. He called her TWICE before authorizing the wire transfer. He knew it was a scam, but she insisted he send the money.

Please do not expect someone else to protect your parents from themselves.

[Anonymous]

Boomers would rather make a quick buck and lose it than give it to the millennials

[Anonymous]

My mom, who is 69, almost fell for scammers. She was stopped by a lucky series of events. I'm worried for her. I'm even worried for us. Am I going to be falling for scams in 25 years?

Actually, people of all ages fall for scams. It's not an elderly thing.