How Have You Dealth W/ a 10 Month Old Having Tantrums?

[Anonymous]

All of a sudden my sweet, sweet little baby is turning into more of a little person than a little baby. He wants more independence which we are giving him. It makes me laugh when I try to take a toy, keys, phone, food, cup, ANYTHING, from up him and he holds on for dear life and pulls it back and forth. His face turns red and he screams. I try to say "please", "may I" and use other "polite" terms but he seems to be acting like a little neanderthal - which I guess he his. For the moms out there with older toddlers. What worked at this age to teach the baby they can't have everything and that sometimes bath time ends, it's time to stop playing, etc? I think it's cute but I know I wont think it is cute a week from now.

[Anonymous]

*Sorry* That should have been "Dealt" not "Dealth".

[Anonymous]

The key thing I use is diversion. DS is 14mo old and has had a strong personality since day one. Diversion has been the only thing that works for us right now! Kids are pretty easily distracted luckily. I'm still unsure of the "discipline" area for such a youngster, aside from the word no, which he usually responds to, I don't feel like "time out" or other punishments will really make sense to him yet. Good luck!

[clarabow]

Mostly at this point it is distract/trade. He won't really understand, but I tend to talk through things as though our son actually does understand what we're saying. "May I have the blackberry? Thank you! Here is a calculator with buttons." Or "Yes, I know you wish we could swing longer. We will swing again tomorrow. Daddy will swoop you on his shoulders now while we walk back." IN THEORY (how would I know, mine's only 12 months LOL, but he does mimic "thank you" now) this helps them learn to attach words to feelings and keeps them from feeling their needs are being just ignored. Working on transitions helps too (again more setting the stage than expecting them to understand at this point). So at bath time, maybe begin to drain the water and talk about how the water will soon be gone and it will be time to get out of the bath. When you substitute, try to make it a "fair trade" from his point of view. Keep things handy that have the right characteristics -- ours likes buttons, and things that he can carry and shake. HTH.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP. I'm so happy my son is not the only one. DH and I were talking last night about how we can't really "discipline" the baby, he really isn't doing anything wrong but we also don't want to just allow him to scream and twist and yank things all over the place like a little monster. It was really "neat" and interesting to see the baby inserting his "wants" and opinions. Just not too "neat" to not be able to explain to him to "calm in down a notch".

Ugh, and the arms. He throws his arms up at the shoulders now when he doesn't want to be carried or picked up. He's no feather either, he is a heavy baby. So he is making his body go limp and throwing his arms up. Cute.... but not cute.

As a mom I am so in love with this kid and I love love love love that I can see him learning and voicing his wants and needs. Just wish he was a little more civilized. I actually sighed because I realized I was dealing with another male in the house. DH and DS should be able to communcate!

[clarabow]

Anonymous wrote:As a mom I am so in love with this kid and I love love love love that I can see him learning and voicing his wants and needs. Just wish he was a little more civilized. I actually sighed because I realized I was dealing with another male in the house. DH and DS should be able to communcate!

Oh my goodness not necessarily so! I find I can often recognize DH in DS quite well, but DH has trouble recognizing himself, so the two of them end up in a useless spiral of "I am soo frustrated that you are soo frustrated that I am soo frustrated that....." Thankfully, I love them both to pieces or I might be tempted to jump off a bridge at times. And yeah to the first part of your post -- watching their wishes and personalities emerge is remarkable even when it is annoying, and the more they reveal about themselves the easier it becomes to figure out how to meet their needs and wants. Just keep pretending he's civilized and treating him as such and I bet he'll eventually get there. Until then, hand him over to your husband every now and then and hit the showers or something where you can throw your own tantrum and holler and stomp with zero consequences!