College Essay

[Anonymous]

My DD's first choice college specifically says "don't write your essay about something that is elsewhere in your application." Let's say for example she has a Varsity sport or another activity listed in her activities. if her college essay is 650 words about a time she faced an obstacle related to one of these activities, do you think she is going against the college's specific instructions?

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Agree yes.
Seems pretty clear

[Anonymous]

It might be challenging for her depending on how much time she spends in the activity. But if she can at all find another example that would be better. Her life lessons have to have come from more than just her activity.

[Anonymous]

She could remove it from the activity section for that particular school but my guess is that they are looking for a less conventional story that shows something about her character and personality.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Encourage her to take a 10,000 foot up in the air view of everything that makes her unique and awesome and write from that perspective. Be sure to include how she would make a great alumnus and what she is bringing to the table. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

yes and the advice we got was that you should never write an essay about your sport. My DD participated at a very high level in a niche sport and had lots of fodder for essays but her common app essay was about mental health. I will say one of her short supplemental essays for one school did mention the sport, but again it was a supplement and I did not have any qualification like the one your DD is tackling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD's first choice college specifically says "don't write your essay about something that is elsewhere in your application." Let's say for example she has a Varsity sport or another activity listed in her activities. if her college essay is 650 words about a time she faced an obstacle related to one of these activities, do you think she is going against the college's specific instructions?

Yes. They're asking her to think outside the box, quite literally. I agree that she could take an activity out of the activity section. For example, if she volunteered as a tutor at a community center, and has a really compelling story, she could write about it, but would take it out of the activity section.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you could write about something related to the sport but about the sport. For instance, learning to respect a coach whose style she doesn’t like. You could write about the interpersonal dynamic, patience and respect for different points of view without ever mentioning the sport.

[Anonymous]

“Not” about the sport is missing in my post above.

[Anonymous]

I love how we tell students that the personal essay is to be authentic and about what is important to them..
but NOT this and NOT that.. and not anything that actually is important to them.
That's why this whole process sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how we tell students that the personal essay is to be authentic and about what is important to them..
but NOT this and NOT that.. and not anything that actually is important to them.
That's why this whole process sucks.

Amen. My kid is writing about an activity he listed on his common app. I agree wholeheartedly with the contradiction between how orchestrated the advice seems and authenticity. The example essays I read online do not sound like high school kids to me, mostly because the topics sound so completely contrived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD's first choice college specifically says "don't write your essay about something that is elsewhere in your application." Let's say for example she has a Varsity sport or another activity listed in her activities. if her college essay is 650 words about a time she faced an obstacle related to one of these activities, do you think she is going against the college's specific instructions?

No. This is fine. I cannot think of a good example so I am making up an average example.

Lets say that your DD is a gymnast and she won first place in a state level competition, and her activity list says "1st place in parallel bar, gymnastics, State, 2021", then her essay certainly should not be about how great it was to win the state medal or how she got honor or accolades for her school etc.

However, she can write a compelling story about how she has a fear of heights because she has a ruptured eardrum and so for a long time she has lived with vertigo. Then one day she saw the gymnastic coverage on TV and wanted to become a gymnast. . But then she knew that she could not do it because of her balance problem as well as the fact that she had not started the training when she was young. She decided to get up every day at 4 pm and do the special exercises so that she could mentally and physically overcome her vertigo problem. This enabled her to train for the sport and inspite of starting late in the sport, she got to enjoy and compete in the sport she liked.
Of course, written better than this and with hooks etc.

So you can allude to your accolades but your story is not about your accolades but the journey and what motivates you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how we tell students that the personal essay is to be authentic and about what is important to them..
but NOT this and NOT that.. and not anything that actually is important to them.
That's why this whole process sucks.

I agree and the prompts seem geared toward activities. Her English teacher read the essay and had zero comments. I guess she’ll start over. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

You can make up any damn thing you want because they have no way of checking it. College essay is the best thing in your application because you can 100% lie. The lie should not be the lie that you get caught on. In other words, don't say you got an A in calc when you didn't. Don't say you tutored poor kids, when you could not write in activity list that you were a tutor.

My SIL works in a company that writes college essays and basically she made up complete BS for common app and college essays. Just complete BS. It is entirely fake. I am so pissed that we were so stressed during this process last year when my kid was applying for college.

What was your motivation? What was the obstacle? Most significant moment? Who changed your life? All of this is pure and utter BS lies. Make up as you go. They do not admit you because of your essays. They admit you because of GPA, SAT, ECs, work experience, internship, accolades, SES and whoever they want to take - legacy, athletes, some balancing demographics, some nerds, some jocks...