Feel relief after funeral?

[Anonymous]

I’m delivering a eulogy at a funeral for my father this coming Thursday and I feel a lot of anxiety and pressure getting up in front of everyone.
I’ve rehearsed in front of my husband and I’ll have my notes with me. I’ll also be seeing a few family members who I’m not a fan of.

I am feeling some dread but I also feel like a weight will be lifted once the funeral is over. I’m looking forward to not having to see some of these family
members for a good long while.

Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Yes.
A funeral is tough.

[Anonymous]

Yes 100%. I felt the same way. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

It's part of finding closure Very normal.

[Anonymous]

I gave a speech. It was a real jolt going into the chapel and seeing the coffin.

[Anonymous]

Yes -- all totally normal, but I'd also say that you might find that seeing some family members and family friends -- even people you're not that close to -- could actually bring comfort and might even be weirdly pleasant. When my MIL died recently, I was completely astonished to learn that one of DH's cousins whom I'd always felt slightly guilty about in relation to something that happened 30 years ago remembered the whole incident as a really great experience. And, another cousin's wife, whom I barely remembered, was actually incredibly sweet and kind and just fun to hang out with.

[Anonymous]

I am a funeral professional. Grief and stress is part of the process. Confronting death is a very normal and important part of the grieving process.

You can also record the eulogy on Zoom or something, and have it played if stage fright is an issue. You can just say you are overwhelmed with grief and don’t feel you will get through what you want today, then roll video.

No one judges a eulogy deliverer. If you falter, choke up, or ultimately can’t do it…you are given an enormous amount of grace at the funeral of a loved one.

Huge hugs. You will feel SO MUCH BETTER after it is over. That is what funerals are for! They are for the living, not the dead.

[Anonymous]

My condolences, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a funeral professional. Grief and stress is part of the process. Confronting death is a very normal and important part of the grieving process.

You can also record the eulogy on Zoom or something, and have it played if stage fright is an issue. You can just say you are overwhelmed with grief and don’t feel you will get through what you want today, then roll video.

No one judges a eulogy deliverer. If you falter, choke up, or ultimately can’t do it…you are given an enormous amount of grace at the funeral of a loved one.

Huge hugs. You will feel SO MUCH BETTER after it is over. That is what funerals are for! They are for the living, not the dead.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a funeral professional. Grief and stress is part of the process. Confronting death is a very normal and important part of the grieving process.

You can also record the eulogy on Zoom or something, and have it played if stage fright is an issue. You can just say you are overwhelmed with grief and don’t feel you will get through what you want today, then roll video.

No one judges a eulogy deliverer. If you falter, choke up, or ultimately can’t do it…you are given an enormous amount of grace at the funeral of a loved one.

Huge hugs. You will feel SO MUCH BETTER after it is over. That is what funerals are for! They are for the living, not the dead.

Thank you!

My best wishes for you. Funerals are hard, but it will help you get through the grief process better and quicker. It’s a gift to provide finality, so you and your family can begin to pick up the pieces and forge ahead. Much love to you and yours. Let yourself grieve. It helps.

[Anonymous]

My mom died a month ago and writing a eulogy was hard, as was delivering it. I almost broke down a couple of times. But it did feel like a relief when it was over. Having the funeral made it feel both more real and a little less sad, because so many good friends and family were there.