Recommendation for a "how to guide" after a parent dies/settling an estate

[Anonymous]

Hello

Can anyone recommend a "how to" guide with settling an estate? My divorced elderly father (who lived alone independently) passed away very recently and I am feeling a bit lost in the process of what to do next. I am an only child and this is the first loss of parent in my immediate family. Wondering if there is some type of book that could help? Looking for checklists on who to contact (banks, taxes, etc) and the best order to go about doing it.

Also, does anyone have any helpful hints on how to deal with computers and hard drives. Not sure if we will be able to get access or even need access, but once we deem them unnecessary who can help clear the drives in order for a potential re-sell. Would this be an independent computer repair shop or a place like Best Buy?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

When I was the executor on my Uncle's estate, the county where his estate was probated had a lot of very helpful info including a How To guide. So, try the county where the estate is located.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Yes, the County is important There will be a County Clerk's Office and this is what they do - your paperwork will go through them. You can walk in and talk to them, talk to a real person. I was executor for an estate in NC at the same time as my friend was the executor for an estate in Va. We often compared notes. Our states and some of their procedures varied but the County also varies. County is important. And people... the people who work in the County Clerk's Office, how helpful they are, varies. It all gets done eventually though. Assume it will take a year.

[Anonymous]

+1 on the county clerk. Also, the funeral home gave me a binder with a list of places to notify.

[Anonymous]

What state are you in, OP? In VA, the state bar association has an online guide to administering an estate, and you can also find lots of checklists online.

I am going through this right now and it is definitely confusing and time-consuming, as well as sad. If you can afford it, hire a lawyer and accountant to help!

[Anonymous]

Definitely connect with the County government office for your dad's estate and abide by rules in that County and State.

Here's a checklist from AARP titled "What to Do When a Loved One Dies"

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/when-loved-one-dies-checklist.html


Also, for an overview of how the general process will work so you can get your bearings and to have helpful tips, I have found the NOLO guides helpful. My public library has them on the shelf (but check which edition is most current).

One of the NOLO titles I checked out is "The Executor's Guide: Settling a Loved One's Estate or Trust" by Mary Randolph. J.D. The NOLO titles were very helpful after my mom died as I helped my elderly dad deal with things. It also helped convince him to take actions on retitling some assets to ease administration of his estate when he dies.

There are even books from the For Dummies brand such as "Estate & Trust Administration" -- again found at the library -- which gives easier to understand explanations for those of us without legal backgrounds or prior experience with this legal process.

Best wishes and sympathy on your dad's passing.

[Anonymous]

This is PP 10:49 again.

You may also want to put your dad's name on the Deceased Do Not Contact Registration provided by DMAchoice.org through the Association of National Advertisers, "the largest trade association in the U.S. devoted to serving all aspects of marketing, which includes many of the leaders in the direct marketing community."

Here is the description from DMAchoice.org for this listing:

"Deceased Do Not Contact Registration
DMA sometimes receives calls from family members, friends or caretakers seeking to remove the names of deceased individuals from commercial marketing lists. We understand how difficult this process can be.

To assist those who are managing this process, DMA created (in October 2005) a Deceased Do Not Contact List (DDNC) which all DMA members are required to honor. The Deceased Do Not Contact List is available to companies and nonprofit organizations for the sole purpose of removing names and addresses from their marketing lists.

What are the expected results?
When you register a name with DDNC, the person's name, address, phone number and e-mail address is placed on a special do not contact file. All DMA members are required to eliminate these individuals from their prospecting campaigns. The service is also available to non-members of DMA so that all marketers may take advantage of this service to eliminate names.

A new, updated file is distributed to our members every month. Therefore the number of commercial contacts from DMA members should begin to decrease within three months.

How to Register
Friends, relatives and caregivers are encouraged to register the information about deceased individuals as soon as possible. We encourage funeral directors, hospitals, doctors' offices and others to provide this Internet link to the bereaved, as well.

Verification Fee
There is no charge to register for the Deceased Do Not Contact List. Consumers will be asked for an email address when registering. An email will be sent to this address which will have a link to verify registration.

The DMA will not keep personal, identifiable information and will not use the information for marketing purposes."