Body Positive Pediatrician recommendation
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Anonymous
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Hi all! My 2yo DD has always struggled to put and keep on weight. Now that she's becoming more aware of the conversations adults around her are having, I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable with having a 30min conversation with the pediatrician about her weight with her in my lap, but she's also too young to wait in the waiting room without me. Her pediatrician is great but very old school. I was similarly petite as a child and have bad memories of doctors appointments and feeling ashamed of my body, and would like to avoid repeating the experiences with DD.
I was wondering if anyone had experience with a particularly body positive pediatrician in the DC area? Or a pediatrician that was well suited for an underweight child? More background on DD: She has a number of allergies and used to have some GI issues that have since resolved with medication and time. Her gastroenterologist and allergist are pleased with her progress. She is a cheerful, energetic, smart little girl who has consistently been ahead in her language, gross, and fine motor skills, and she's also sprouted up like a string bean in the last few months! However, she recently took a dramatic drop in her weight percentiles. At 12mo, she was at the 2nd percentile, climbed up to 15th by around 20mo, but now is back down to 1st percentile at 26mo. I share the pediatrician's concerns, but we've also spent the last year doing everything under the sun to try to get more calories in her (high cal medical formula, having set snack/meal times with high cal foods, making meal times fun + low pressure). I am starting to feel that her weight is out of control, and the level of pressure my husband and I feel around it is not healthy for us or DD. We're ready to seek out a second opinion on her weight, and I would love to be in an office that is more modern in terms of expectations and conversations around weight. Thank you! |
Anonymous
Meant to say "I am starting to feel that her weight is out of OUR control" |
Anonymous
| Have you seen a GI (gastroenterology) doc? If you've tried all these things and she hasn't gained weight then it could be that she's not absorbing what she should. I understand the concern about not making her feel bad about her body, but she's 2, and at this age it's a medical concern potentially. By all means find a more modern pediatrician, but I would consider a GI doc too. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like it's genetic and she will be fine. I wish I had a name for you. Find a younger woman ped for her. |
Anonymous
Yes, she has a wonderful GI at Children’s National and they’ve tested for just about everything! She’s had an endoscopy and several blood tests, ultrasounds, and x-rays. I think I’ll schedule another visit to discuss this new development with her weight, but I’d be really surprised if we learned something new. |
Anonymous
A lot of the younger woman physicians I've come across still equate weight and health. OP, where are you located, roughly? I'm sure you'd travel extra for the right doctor, but there are limits. |
Anonymous
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I’m confused why you think the issue here is a body positive pediatrician. It seems like the issue is her weight gain, and you need to see more specialists to get to the root of it.
It’s understandable that you want to be circumspect about the discussion. You can do that by making a separate appointment or bringing a babysitter with you to take her out of the room. |
Anonymous
NW, near Cathedral Heights! |
Anonymous
| Assuming you are interested in hearing what the doctor has to say, bring a friend/spouse/neighbor tween to sit with her in the waiting room. Or, bring a headset and your iPad and she can watch a cartoon. |
Anonymous
You can see above that we have worked with several specialists. To the best of our knowledge, there does not appear to be a physiological issue at the root of her weight gain issues. I’m seeking out a second opinion, and I’d like to try a doctor with a different skill set. |
Anonymous
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It is pretty modern to have a discussion about a child's body in front of the child. It is good for kids to be part of the discussions from an early age and to know that they can speak about their body with their doctor. It seems like this is a bit more of a you issue than you DD's issue. As he gets older she should be part of the discussion about her weight -- a medical discussion.
All that said, our old ped was with us when our son went off the weight chart (bottom) and I never felt pressure or was worried about anything she was saying in front of him. She has changed practices but we really loved her: https://www.wipediatrics.com/doctors/dr-sabine-de-la-croix-vaubois/ |
Anonymous
all pediatricians have the same skill set. it sounds like you want a ped who isn’t concerned that your child is on the 1% of weight? |
Anonymous
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Hi OP. I have the opposite problem with a larger kid who may always been that way given genetics. Around this age I emailed his ped outside of a visit and expressed that if she had any concerns or questions regarding his weight that she please reach out to me here or we can have a phone call. I shared my concerns, how we approach feeding, etc. and said I want to be able to have an open dialogue if she has any ideas or concerns, but that it's important to me that it's not in front of him at a young age.
So even if you find a new ped, I would have this conversation offline and ask to have any convos about her weight by phone at a separate time. My ped was fine with this. She gave me a call and we chatted and now she doesn't bring it up at visits (it's not really a concern right now but he seems to ebb and flow so sometimes his weight will go up before he has a big growth spurt in height and if he happens to be at the dr before the height growth spurt I realized it could be a flag and be brought up in a way I wouldn't be comfortable with) The poster that said this is a modern phenomena that is a good thing is misinformed from everything I've read. Weight talk in front of kids has been shown pretty strongly to be quite negative for kids and not helpful. You are right to advocate for your kid in my opinion op! |
Anonymous
| I don't have a suggestion, but I did have a situation where there was an issue I didn't want to discuss in front of my child and that required a little more time, and her pediatrician suggested I set up a virtual appointment with her at another time. Can you ask for that? |
Anonymous
NP. I did this just last week. So much easier to speak freely and discuss issues without worrying about scaring my kid. |