When did you tell your Jewish child about the Holocaust?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday my seven year old DD and I were reading a book that covered some female abolishionists, and I almost said - your great grandfather was a slave in the Holocaust, but I caught myself and didn’t. I grew up with the Holocaust as a fact of life given that my grandfather was in the Holocaust, so I don’t recall it being something I ever had to be “told” about. But my DD is a sensitive kid, and I’m worried that she’ll worry it could happen to her, and I know she’ll ask a lot of questions (did children die?)….but at the same time, it’s connected to her being Jewish and is part of our family identity. How do other Jewish parents handle this?

[Anonymous]

From reading the Rebel Girls books and I Am... series, the concepts of rights being taken away, slavery, bad people who wanted to take over or get rid of people different from them, etc. were introduced over time.

But more specifically Jewish, the Passover story of the Pharaoh enslaving the Jews and then wanting to get rid of them introduces the concept. Throughout history that has happened many times. The Crusades, pogroms, etc. Probably the first way the word "Holocaust" specifically came up was in naming the period of time in which that was happening because of the Nazis in Europe and the WWII time period

Depending on where your daughter is as a reader and what you read aloud, these could be helpful in introducing and discussing it:
I Am Anne Frank by Brad Meltzer
Magic Treehouse books
Booklists from PJ Library (do you get those books in the mail?)

[Anonymous]

It’s our family history. We just talk about how our family grew up, came to NY and why, etc. Same way it was done with me.

It’s okay for your DD to get upset- it’s upsetting. She SHOULD get upset.

[Anonymous]

This was 30 years ago, but my first memory of learning about the Holocaust was reading Number the Stars, which I did when I was 8-10ish. (FWIW, I'm also Jewish)

[Anonymous]

That we are a tribe and that throughout the history of our tribe people have tried to kill us. That the Holocaust is part of Jewish history but it is not the center of Jewish identity. They learn also about the Girush Sefarad and the Farhud. They learn about the persecution their relatives faced in the Middle East and North Africa and Eastern Europe. When we travel we always include Jewish sites, and that might include a Holocaust memorial or an old synagogue whose membership was forced to flee, and we talk about why that is.

[Anonymous]

Since birth. It's talked about whenever needed or it comes up, or when I share details about my family. My mom and grandparents are survivors. I grew up around survivors, and always knew large swatches of my family were killed. Everyone in my generation is named after those who were killed in the camps. This isn't something you should be hiding from your children, it is an important part of our history. And we survived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s our family history. We just talk about how our family grew up, came to NY and why, etc. Same way it was done with me.

It’s okay for your DD to get upset- it’s upsetting. She SHOULD get upset.

Same.

[Anonymous]

PP above. It's also been a lifelong teachable moment for us when it comes to expressing our values of inclusion and dangers of group think.

[Anonymous]

I don't necessarily have the right answer for you but I remember learning about the Holocaust for the first time in Hebrew School around 10 or so. My parents never said anything and I was absolutely traumatized. They showed us awful pictures. I had no warning whatsoever. I think if there is a way to ease into it, then you should try that.

[Anonymous]

I’d say 2nd or 3rd grade for the basic concept but not necessarily the details about gas chambers and train cars at that age, but YMMV. It is part of our family history too.

[Anonymous]

I think I've been talking about it in an age-appropriate way for a long time, since he started learning about slavery in school (so he could understand the larger context). So maybe 5 or 6 years old? But the disturbing images and facts, I'm not sure. I don't think at 10 he is mature enough for that, maybe more like 12 or 13 to visit the Holocaust Museum. My SIL who is African American was OK with her kids going to the bottom level of the African American History Museum at 8-9, which seems somewhat comparable. But I think the Holocause Museum may be more graphic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I've been talking about it in an age-appropriate way for a long time, since he started learning about slavery in school (so he could understand the larger context). So maybe 5 or 6 years old? But the disturbing images and facts, I'm not sure. I don't think at 10 he is mature enough for that, maybe more like 12 or 13 to visit the Holocaust Museum. My SIL who is African American was OK with her kids going to the bottom level of the African American History Museum at 8-9, which seems somewhat comparable. But I think the Holocause Museum may be more graphic?

I am not Jewish and couldn't do the Holocaust museum in one dose -- its very realistic and so troubling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I've been talking about it in an age-appropriate way for a long time, since he started learning about slavery in school (so he could understand the larger context). So maybe 5 or 6 years old? But the disturbing images and facts, I'm not sure. I don't think at 10 he is mature enough for that, maybe more like 12 or 13 to visit the Holocaust Museum. My SIL who is African American was OK with her kids going to the bottom level of the African American History Museum at 8-9, which seems somewhat comparable. But I think the Holocause Museum may be more graphic?

I am not Jewish and couldn't do the Holocaust museum in one dose -- its very realistic and so troubling.

The US Holocaust Museum has an exhibit designed for kids called Daniel's Story that handles the details of the Holocaust in an age-appropriate way for kids, designed for 4th grade and up. I wouldn't take a 7-year-old through the main exhibits - there are some pretty graphic parts that they may not be ready for. Generally, Holocaust Education is taught in schools in 6th grade (when it's taught at all - separate problem). Obviously, individual families choose to introduce it differently given their own family situation, the "readiness" of their child(ren), and the parents' comfort with the subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s our family history. We just talk about how our family grew up, came to NY and why, etc. Same way it was done with me.

It’s okay for your DD to get upset- it’s upsetting. She SHOULD get upset.

Exactly. I was taken to see a concentration camp at age seven. I clearly understand what the consequences can be when your government begins to censor your speech and marginalizes certain groups of people... and yes, the loss of bodily autonomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s our family history. We just talk about how our family grew up, came to NY and why, etc. Same way it was done with me.

It’s okay for your DD to get upset- it’s upsetting. She SHOULD get upset.

Exactly. I was taken to see a concentration camp at age seven. I clearly understand what the consequences can be when your government begins to censor your speech and marginalizes certain groups of people... and yes, the loss of bodily autonomy.

Concur -- I went in my 20's. Very sobering