So dads ever try to hang out with other kids

[Anonymous]

We have three kids and over the years, I have made all the plans and play dates for the kids. Dh usually handles sports and we take turns driving to practice and games.

I have friends who are moms and also have made friends/acquaintances through the kids. We often make plans with other families.

Dh has friends, some through our kids. The dads never try to make plans with the kids. They will try to go out for drinks or watch football without the kids. I just got pissed that this one dad whose wife complains that he hates kid outings is often trying to plan and coordinate outings with Dh and some other friends without wives and kids.

Wondering if other dads make plans with their kids or normally try to go out without them.

[Anonymous]

Why is your husband hanging with the guy you hate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is your husband hanging with the guy you hate?

I don’t hate any of the guys. We have 3 kids so our schedule is busy. Totally fine with occasional outing without kids but dh’s friends only try to go out without the families vs when the moms make plans, it usually involves the kids and sometimes the husbands too.

One guy in particular is a close friend of dh. His wife has vented multiple times how the Dh does not want to do family outings and says why do they have to have a plan to go somewhere every weekend. At the same time, he is trying to hang out with my Dh every weekend. They have a mutual friend who is now divorced. He was also the same way. We try to hang out with the family even if they are now divorced. He never wants to hang out with kids. Instead he will try to hang out with dh on weeks he doesn’t have the kids.

While it isn’t impossible, it is a lot harder for me to get 2 out of 3 kids to sports practice during rush hour and dinner time.

[Anonymous]

Clown show

[Anonymous]

Op again. Dh is generally very involved parent. When his friends are not involved, we make a good parenting team. Most evenings, we have 1-2 sports. On bad days, we may have 3 different activities for 3 kids.

I understand the guy want to hang out but it is at bad times for us. If my friend asked me to have dinner, I would not do it on a night where my son has a basketball game and other child has tennis and ballet.

[Anonymous]

DH should tell him point blank that he can’t hang out unless it’s with the kids too.

[Anonymous]

I think you are asking why the husbands don't do the same thing as the wives do. Why don't the wives make plans without the husbands and kids? Why do you feel you always have to be doing things with the kids?

[Anonymous]

Yes, my husband makes plans to do thing/host with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my husband makes plans to do thing/host with the kids.

Same here. Sometimes he makes plans just with his friends, of course, but he also plans things with another family, including the kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My dh makes plans with other dads and kids. Well like 2 other dads because they are friendly. My dh even made plans with someones grandma because that kid and my kid were bffs and it was the grandma that was available for post school child care.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, DH does this all the time with his friends, not always woth DCs friends. Sometimes I arrange playdates and DH takes the kid. Sometimes the other dads are there sometimes not. I think our circle is less sexist than most. The door of equal opportunity swings both ways.

[Anonymous]

Yes my husband makes plans with other dads + the kids. Gives us moms a break. Are the kids roughly the same ages? We are lucky that my DH’s friends have kids the same age. If they didn’t, DH probably wouldn’t include the kids.

[Anonymous]

My husband is like yours, OP. The dad’s get together either as a family or without kids. It’s never just dad’s and kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is like yours, OP. The dad’s get together either as a family or without kids. It’s never just dad’s and kids.

Op here. Dh just isn’t a planner. To be fair, he has a very demanding job. I can’t think of one time that Dh had a play date with another dad where kids hang out with the kids. I obviously don’t have the kids all the time. When he has the kids, he just hangs out with our kids, which is totally fine.

I guess I’m annoyed that dh’s friends only want to hang out with him and not the kids(ours or theirs).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is like yours, OP. The dad’s get together either as a family or without kids. It’s never just dad’s and kids.

Op here. Dh just isn’t a planner. To be fair, he has a very demanding job. I can’t think of one time that Dh had a play date with another dad where kids hang out with the kids. I obviously don’t have the kids all the time. When he has the kids, he just hangs out with our kids, which is totally fine.

I guess I’m annoyed that dh’s friends only want to hang out with him and not the kids(ours or theirs).

It sounds like your dh while generally involved himself is friends with some dad’s that may be a bit more of duds if we’re being honest based on one having the wife report that she’s frustrated with lack of family time while husband still tries to hang with his dudes and the other being divorced partly for that reason. Have you talked to your husband about it? What does he like about these guys?