Assuming a teen boy has no father or strong male role model what should a mother do to help him?

[Anonymous]

I know a teen boy who is 14 years old. His dad died last year and when he was alive he only saw him every other weekend. The boy is a good kid but rather unconfident. The mother takes care of the basics but isn't emotionally intelligent, good at communicating or motherly. What can be done to help this kid out? I am his mom's cousin and only see the family in the summertime.

Ideas:

-Encourage kid to get a part-time job

-Encourage kid to learn skill such as life guarding, sailing, etc.

[Anonymous]

Do they still do Big Brothers Big Sisters? After my mom died when I was young—and my dad and I had no other family around—I had a series of Big Sisters. They weren’t all great but I do think they helped me by giving me a female presence in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a teen boy who is 14 years old. His dad died last year and when he was alive he only saw him every other weekend. The boy is a good kid but rather unconfident. The mother takes care of the basics but isn't emotionally intelligent, good at communicating or motherly. What can be done to help this kid out? I am his mom's cousin and only see the family in the summertime.

Ideas:

-Encourage kid to get a part-time job

-Encourage kid to learn skill such as life guarding, sailing, etc.

Why not see him more often?

[Anonymous]

Sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a teen boy who is 14 years old. His dad died last year and when he was alive he only saw him every other weekend. The boy is a good kid but rather unconfident. The mother takes care of the basics but isn't emotionally intelligent, good at communicating or motherly. What can be done to help this kid out? I am his mom's cousin and only see the family in the summertime.

Ideas:

-Encourage kid to get a part-time job

-Encourage kid to learn skill such as life guarding, sailing, etc.

I hope you are a perfect person op. You lack basic compassion. But to answer your question why not get involved yourself? Go and visit him and develop a relationship/. Honestly, if a distant cousin gave me the advice you gave I would politely ignore.

[Anonymous]

Boys sleep away summer camp

[Anonymous]

Extra curricular with strong adult leadership (sports, robotics, theater, orchestra/band, scouts).

[Anonymous]

Scouting. It’s amazing for learning life skills and leadership.a strong male presence and the older boys teach the younger ones.

[Anonymous]

Don’t have any advice to offer but just wanted to say that you sound very kind.

[Anonymous]

Football.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scouting. It’s amazing for learning life skills and leadership.a strong male presence and the older boys teach the younger ones.

I'm a single mom to a teen boy. I was disappointed by Cub Scouts. It was mostly run by moms. The dads would sometimes come to meetings but it was mostly moms organizing everything. My son went to an all boys camp and school (more male teachers). He also had a great male sports coach.

[Anonymous]

What this boy is lacking are male codes. I lost my father at 15 and had a mother who ended up ‘marrying’ me - using me to fulfill her emotional needs due to a dead marriage. This is Common in families like this - read Silently Seduced for full take.

I would say encourage him to join the military. He will be in a (largely) male culture with solid male figures for mentors, have funds to immediately physically separate from family at 18 and have funds for counseling for the (likely ‘married to mom’ scenario). Tough conversation that you likely won’t be in a position to have - but this boy is facing a tough, tough road.

[Anonymous]

Get married.